This guest article from YourTango was written by Virginia Clark.
Your mindset is everything when it comes to helping you find love. I’m not just talking about romantic love. I’m talking about love, overall. Love is a state of mind that either is or isn’t something you cultivate.
Wikipedia defines mindset as:
A set of assumptions, methods or notations held by one or more people, that creates a powerful incentive within these people or groups to continue to adopt or accept prior behaviors, choices, or tools.
Your mindset is how you approach the world. If you let it run wild, it will compel you to make the same choices over and over again. No one is exempt from having a mindset. We all have one. It’s like a filter through which you perceive your reality.
Your mindset, like a bad habit, has a shadow side. The shadow is devious and makes it tough for us to see that we have any particular mindset at all. It tricks us into believing that ”it’s just the way we think.” No big deal.
If you’re having trouble in your romantic life, it’s time to see if your mindset needs an adjustment. If you think your mindset might be causing problems, you have the power to change it. Like breaking any habit, it demands a great amount of effort and determination.
Answer the following three questions to see if your mindset is on the right track to finding love:
1. Have you created the right environment to attract love?
How you set up your life and personal space will tell you a lot. If you don’t pay attention to how you’re living and what you come home to at night, you aren’t “setting the stage” for the love you want.
Surround yourself with things that make you feel good. Make it a priority to always be around things that you consider beautiful. Your bedroom should be restful and inviting. Your home space should be free of clutter. Changing your home environment will change your energy and create a new mindset towards love.
2. Are you surrounding yourself with people who support you?
If you’re not seeking out positive, supportive people in your life, you will feel overwhelmed. None of us can do it alone. Regardless of how strong you think you are, we all need outside input and camaraderie to remind us that we are valuable and special people.
If you spend time with friends who love to gossip and complain, this negativity will rub off on you. These kinds of interactions support a mindset of being a victim to outside circumstances. You must find people who have a positive outlook on life and love. Surround yourself with people who see you as the wonderful person you are.
3. Do you take courageous action on your own behalf?
As women, we were not really taught the value of courage. Courage was something reserved for boys. But, being fully committed to loving someone and being vulnerable (which true love requires) demands that you have courage.
It’s not easy to trust another human being with your deepest self. It can feel risky. A romantic relationship will require you to have the courage to face the ups and downs of life. Other courageous actions you will need to take include speaking up for yourself, honoring your boundaries and telling the truth.
Your mindset to find love will change as you take action. It will be your greatest ally to help you find your perfect partner.
More great content from YourTango:
- Help! My Last Breakup Scarred Me for Life
- When I Wouldn’t Confront My Trust Issues, They Confronted Me
- The 5 Easiest Ways to Be Happy – Bet You’re Not Doing #4!
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 9 Jul 2014
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Experts, Y. (2012). Change Your Mindset to Find True Love?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 1, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/05/22/change-your-mindset-to-find-true-love/