My mom used to tell me that the most annoying kids at school were the ones who needed my love, acceptance and compassion most. At the time, I could hardly bare hearing about it. I mean who wants to be friends with, “the crier, “the bully,” or “Miss bossy pants”?  But as I got older, things changed. I realized that while it was never my responsibility to befriend those I deemed unlikable, there was potential for my own self-growth if I could go beyond their external difficulties and look within.

Her words of advice has helped me to win over challenging employers/clients and loosen my grip on how I judge others and even myself. It’s a reminder that we’re all vulnerable and doing our best most of the time. And it’s given me a clearer perspective of people’s behavior. When loved ones are being controlling, for example, they might be feeling out of control.

Or if someone is being overly confident, cocky, or close-minded, they may be compensating for feeling weak, insecure or unsure. It’s heartbreaking that those who are most difficult to deal with haven’t learned how to get what they need. In desperation for love, attention, respect, they react in confusing ways, repelling the very people they are trying so hard to attract.

This week you may recognize a few of these individuals or you may even see yourself in our top posts. The point is not to forget who we are and our own needs in the presence of those who are grappling with their own. But in understanding why your family was not the happiest growing up for example, or what’s been triggering your bad behavior lately, you may open the door to accepting others and yourself.

4 Tips for Having a Happier Family

(Adventures in Positive Psychology) – Family is important to our emotional health and happiness. But if your family has had a negative influence on you, feel free to recreate your own. This post provides a few ideas to help you bring happiness back.

Engagement vs. Avoidance

(Anxiety & OCD Exposed) – In the face of fear and anxiety, you may choose to distract yourself to avoid feeling painful emotions. But the result of doing so isn’t just ineffective, it could actually make you feel worse. Find out why here.

Bullying and Suicide Can Create A Downward Spiral

(Family Mental Health) – It’s sad that bullying has become so commonplace these days. The fact is that when bullies are allowed to keep bullying other kids, the result is devastating for all parties involved. This is an important post that reveals the disastrous consequences continuous bullying can have on teens.

3 Meditations To Minimize Anxiety & Stress

(Weightless) – If you’ve ever mindlessly ate as a way to deal with stress and anxiety, read this. It’ll give you new, healthier, more effective coping strategies to add to your toolbox.

Positively Child Raising; ADHD or Not!

(ADHD Man of Distraction) – A mother’s love is a beautiful sight to see. This is especially true in this story of a mother’s unconditional love for her son with Aspergers.

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    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Feb 2012
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.