My Home: Exciting and PeacefulThe first line in Gertrude Stein’s Paris France is:

Paris, France is exciting and peaceful.”

For a moment, I was surprised by this pairing of words — but then I realized, it’s not really surprising. Paris is exciting and peaceful.

I’d been thinking along these lines about my home (no surprise, I spend a lot of time thinking about home these days, while I’m working on my next book, Happier at Home).

I have what seem to be, at first, paradoxical desires for my own home.

My home should calm me, and energize me. It should be a comforting, quiet refuge and a place of excitement and possibility. It should call to my mind the past, the present, and the future. It should be a snuggery of privacy and reflection, but also a gathering place that strengthens my engagement with other people.

By making me feel safe, it should embolden me to take risks. I want a feeling of home so strong that no matter where I go, I take that feeling with me; at the same time, I want to find adventure without leaving my apartment. My home should suit me, and also suit my husband and daughters.

But as I considered this list, I saw that these weren’t, in fact, contradictory desires. I want my home to be exciting and peaceful.

To think that a home must be either exciting or peaceful is a false choice. (It’s surprisingly easy to fall into false choices, I’ve realized.)

?How about you?
If you had to sum it up in a few adjectives, what kind of home do you want to create?

* * *

There’s all sorts of great material on My Life Scoop — “tips for a connected lifestyle.” And some of my favorite bloggers post there, too.

Want to get my free monthly newsletter? It highlights the best of the month’s material from the blog and the Facebook Page. Sign up here.



View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 0 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.


    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Nov 2011
    Published on All rights reserved.

APA Reference
Rubin, G. (2011). My Home: Exciting and Peaceful. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 18, 2015, from


Recent Comments
  • Vanna B: PMDD may or may not be a mental illness – as that seems to be a controversy among doctors – but...
  • John M. Grohol, Psy.D.: While your caution is noted, anybody can talk about ADHD medications and what kinds of...
  • Catherine Boyer, MA, LCSW: Really well done article – nice summary of symptoms and medications. As a...
  • Zainab: Absolutely love this! I can relate to this article on a very high level, in fact I’m beginning to feel...
  • Pharmabuse: Folks, beware of advice from psychologists about ADHD medications. Psychologists are not authorized to...
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter

Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code

Users Online: 14271
Join Us Now!