One of my resolutions is to Enter into the interests of other people’s lives. When you think of people getting along harmoniously — whether in a family, or among friends, or in an office – people make an effort to enter into the interests of each other’s lives.My friend Michael Melcher (author of the terrific book The Creative Lawyer — which isn’t just for lawyers) pointed out to me an area where this is often an issue: with travels. It’s quite common for people to come back from big, life-changing trips, and feel let down because no one seems very interested in what they saw or thought or experienced.

Part of being a good friend, colleague, or family member is to show an interest, but this can be challenging. Often, people need help finding ways to talk about their travels in ways that are interesting to people who weren’t there.

At 10 years old you could probably find me sitting on my bed, mesmerized by the latest NSYNC album, while playing the tracks on loop and dancing in front of the mirror. At 15 years old, I’m already immersed in the high school scene, but I’ll be the first to admit that friends and I would go to the local elementary school playground from time to time and ride the swings. At 20 years old, I’m getting closer to graduating college and entering ‘the real world,’ and life keeps on happening. I’m now turning 22, and it’s safe to say that life isn’t as carefree as it once was.

Innocence does get lost along the way, which is a natural consequence of undergoing various experiences that are encountered along the journey — perhaps grief from an illness, family conflict, loss, or a broken heart, just to cite a few of life’s curveballs. Everyone has a story and everyone has a past. Not everyone, however, copes with life’s pain in the same fashion.

“If you pay nervous attention to other people’s opinions, maneuver to obtain their indulgence and to stand high in their esteem, you will be whisked about in their winds and you will lose yourself.” – Jo Loubert

I read that in a book called The Nine Modern Day Muses and a Bodyguard. {It’s a great read for those looking for creative inspiration.} Anyway, it was a reminder that even those who say age or experience thickens the skin, feel a significant sadness when others can’t hold them in their truths.

You may, for example, bounce back if a friend tells you she doesn’t like your outfit, your boyfriend or your job. For that reason, maybe the upcoming holidays doesn’t scare you one bit. Your mother-in-law’s comments on how she doesn’t like the way you’re raising her grandkids are fine by you. You’ve learned other people can have their own opinions, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to them.

Yet, when you’re down. When something tragic happens, a death, a job loss, an unexpected diagnosis, all you want is for others to understand what you’re going through and be sympathetic for it. Yesterday, our Facebook friends shared the things they wished loved ones said to them when going through a difficult time. If you are in a tough place in your life, read their comments here and imagine what it would feel like if someone said those words to you. I found them to be beautifully healing. I hope you will too.

The other day I covered 10 things you should not say to a loved one if you don’t want your name to come up in her therapy sessions. It covered a lot of ground, so I get why some folks would say, “Then what the hell CAN I say?” I’ve been thinking about that, and here’s my list. Some of them may require a personality adjustment, so just skip those.

1. Can I relieve your stress in any way?

One thing all writing manuals say is SHOW don’t TELL. Words aren’t all that helpful to a person struggling with depression. Because let me speak from experience… almost everything she hears will somehow be twisted to sound like an insult. Every suggestion — St. John’s Wort? Organic apples? Yoga?–are going to come off as: You are doing something terribly wrong and this is all your fault.

SO what I found most comforting when I couldn’t pull myself up by my bootstraps is when a friend came over and fixed me lunch, or when someone offered to tidy up my place. I realize that sounds a tad pampered and self-indulgent, but we wouldn’t think twice about doing it for someone who is going through chemo. Why not go there for a person battling a serious mood disorder?

Ah, the time of year when political news is everywhere.

The 2012 presidential election looms, and potential candidates travel the country looking for support week after week. It’s a time for thinking about where our country has been and where it should go. It’s a time when people get together and discuss the environment, health care, and unemployment. It’s a time when couples sit down and talk warmly about their hopes for the country and fill envelopes for the party they both are fervent members of.

Sounds sweet, doesn’t it? But I’m not writing about these happily politically aligned people, because they’ll agree with each other that they have no need to read this.

I’m writing about the couples who, when they talk politics, argue, yell, post competing political statements on their lawn, and slam the door on any poor fool who happens to be distributing the ‘wrong’ campaign flyer. If this is you, keep reading. If not, keep reading anyway. You’ll eventually argue with your partner about something, right?

I’m a huge fan of the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books. If you read these brilliant stories as a child, you should re-read them now; so much of the humor is pitched at grown-ups — marriage, friendship, theories of child-rearing.

After I’d re-read Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle for the fiftieth time, I decided to try Betty MacDonald’s adult work. In her memoir, Onions in the Stew, she remarked, “Going down to the beach after a storm is the only time in my adult life when I experience that wonderful, joyous, childhood feeling of expectancy.”

This observation struck me, because I’ve noticed that I too rarely experience a “sense of expectancy.” The fact is, I don’t have a very joyful spirit. I rarely look forward even to fun events or activities.

CBS News and Health.com published a nice gallery listing what you should and shouldn’t tell a depressed love one.

I have my own list. Here are 10 things you definitely don’t want to say, a collection of the gems that I heard when well-intentioned people opened their mouths and said something really stupid to me the two years I was in sorry shape.

1. It’s all in your head. You need to think positive.

Upon hearing this, I wanted to throw a life-size figure of Tony Robbins at them. Because, while optimism is certainly important in training the brain, studies have shown that people who are severely depressed or acutely anxious only activate their amydalas (fear center of the brain) by forcing positive thinking

2. You need to get out of yourself and give back to the community.

This is one that certainly made bad things worse. Because now, in addition to feeling severely depressed, a person also feels guilty and self-absorbed. Yes, giving back is important, but only when a person is healthy enough to hold a ladle at a soup kitchen.

We’re proud to be an exhibitor at Alternatives …

A decade ago, I had a Chicken Little moment. But instead of an acorn falling, it was an oscillating ceiling fan.

On an ordinary weeknight, I set out to take my daily nap at around 6 in the evening. But after minutes of deep sleep, something woke me up. When I turned to look at the clock, I was surprised that I had only been sleeping for fifteen minutes. Late nights out had turned me into a daily napper and I sometimes drifted to sleep for as long as an hour. But instead of heading back to sleep, I had a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. As I washed my face, I heard a loud crash.

My mom was downstairs and yelled, “What was that?!”

I returned to my bedroom and turned on the light. Still groggy and half-asleep, I was suddenly jolted awake by what I saw. The heavy wooden ceiling fan that used to hover over my bed had fallen on it and was now spinning on the floor. As I looked up I saw that the wires that once held it to the ceiling was now severed. I was still shaken when my mom ran up to see what had happened. “If you were asleep, it would have fallen on you,” she said.

I didn’t think the world was coming to an end like Henny Penny, but it was a life-changing moment. To this day, I don’t know why I woke up or what would have happened if I kept sleeping. But the experience made me grateful and served as a reminder to listen to my inner voice.

This week we have a few posts that share this theme whether it’s in a mom’s intuition that something was wrong with her son or a woman’s courage to transform her shame of mental illness into self-acceptance. Hope they encourage you to find your own inner voice.

I needs lots of coaching on perseverance because this essential virtue depends on another one called patience, which God ran out of the day He made me.

Here are some beautiful quotes on perseverance:

“Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.” — Louis D. Brandeis, Supreme Court Justice

“Don’t feel entitled to anything you didn’t sweat and struggle for.” — Marian Wright Edelman, founder of the Children’s Defense Fund

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Eliot Poet

“The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.” — Robert G. Ingersoll, Poet

“We can do anything we want if we stick to it long enough.” — Helen Keller

The positive psychology movement is surely gaining momentum. In a recent discussion with two of my colleagues we joked that positive psychology’s really about a type of recovery from negative thinking.

This got me wondering if a 12-step process might be worth identifying. So guess what…? I think it is.

Here is what I propose for the 12 steps of positive psychology.

Have you ever been chased by someone in your dreams? Been naked in public? Flown like a bird around a city? Or just felt utterly lost in a maze-like building?

Psychologist and dream researcher Patricia Garfield asserts that these examples are part of 12 basic dreams that all of us dream, regardless of who we are, what we do or where we live.

These “universal dreams,” as Garfield calls them, are far from a dream dictionary packed with generic terms from A to Z. On her website, Garfield writes: “Like a hearty stew that is rich with local produce, the universal dreams differ among different peoples, but they are all nourishing variants of the same wholesome meal. They are as old as humanity and as widespread as our globe. Possibly further.”

In her book The Universal Dream Key: The 12 Most Common Dream Themes Around the World, Garfield explains that dreams differ based on four factors.