I wouldn’t call myself a hoarder. But I have what probably most of us have: an ordinary case of messy-itis. Underneath my bed you would find a collection of old books I’ve been meaning to read and a stack of unread old magazines or two. But after nearly tripping over a glossy mag the other day, I finally decided to face the music and deal with the growing clutter under my bed. The first thing I grabbed was a copy of O magazine’s April issue. ”Not bad,” I thought. Until I saw it was circa 2010. Yikes!
Anyway, as I randomly flipped through the issue I found an excerpt from Geneen Roth’s book Women, Food and God. It’s a book already beautifully covered by associate editor and Weightless blogger Margarita Tartakovsky here. So I’m not going to get into the details. But there is one passage by Roth that sort of changed my life.
“Can you imagine how your life would have been different if each time you were feeling sad or angry as a kid, an adult said to you, ‘Come here, sweetheart, tell me about it?’ If when you were overcome with grief at your best friend’s rejection, someone said to you, ‘Oh, darling, tell me more. Tell me where you feel those feelings. Tell me how your belly feels, your chest. I want to know every little thing. I’m here to listen to you, hold you, be with you.’”
Sitting there on the floor surrounded by old magazines and books, I thought about how different my life would be not if I had a parent to utter those comforting words, but if I had repeated those words to myself.
It brought tears to my eyes.
The next time you make a mistake, feel embarrassed, hurt or confused, try saying to yourself, “Oh darling, tell me more. I’m here to listen to you, to hold you, to love you.”
(Neuroscience & Relationships) – Although we learned to suck our thumbs when we were babies, we no longer do it because it doesn’t serve us to do so. Yet, when it comes to the ways we understood love as infants, we still hold on to “early survival-love maps” although they prevent us from forming healthy relationships as adults. You may think you have already dealt with all the shadows in your past, but this post may turn on a light bulb.
(Adventures in Positive Psychology) – Instead of fearing failure, why not look forward to them instead? Sound crazy? This post explains why failing is a good thing.
(Weightless) – There are certain body image beliefs that is easy to buy into. Things like the media, the normalcy with hating one’s body (especially if you’re a woman) and that every body image blogger/writer must have a positive body image all the time. Let the truth heal you.
(The Creative Mind) – Letting fear hold you behind from your creative potential yet again? Perhaps this blunt letter and honest post will give you the courage you need to, “Stop whining and get back to work!”
(Bipolar Beat) – Another sad state of affairs this time a post on how psychiatrists are human too. Dr. Candida Fink reminds us about the power of marketing and money in research. Unfortunately, it’s the children and their families that end up paying for it.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 12 Jul 2011
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.
Uyemura, B. (2011). Best of Our Blogs: July 12, 2011. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 10, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/07/12/best-of-our-blogs-july-12-2011/