Want a sustainable marriage?

Some emerging research suggests that the satisfaction of each individual in the relationship may be just as important as other, more traditional factors such as communication skills and how a couple argues.

More and more, researchers are finding that happy marriages may be based in how much the relationship supports each individual in their own learning and self-growth. After all, a stagnant relationship isn’t exactly fertile ground for happiness. When we grow individually in a marriage, we also grow as a couple.

This effect isn’t done in solitude — it occurs when your partner helps open your eyes to new experiences and learn new things. That’s why trying something you’ve never done before on a date is exciting! It expands your horizons, and helps introduce you to a new experience.

So how does being interested in your own self-growth help your marriage?

While the notion of self-expansion may sound inherently self-serving, it can lead to stronger, more sustainable relationships, Dr. Lewandowski says.

“If you’re seeking self-growth and obtain it from your partner, then that puts your partner in a pretty important position,” he explains. “And being able to help your partner’s self-expansion would be pretty pleasing to yourself.”

Now you’re curious — how sustainable is your long-term relationship or marriage? It’s easy to find out — take the sustainable marriage quiz now.

Read the full article: Sustainable Love

Dr. John Grohol is the CEO and founder of Psych Central. He is an author, researcher and expert in mental health online, and has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues -- as well as the intersection of technology and human behavior -- since 1992. Dr. Grohol sits on the editorial board of the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking and is a founding board member and treasurer of the Society for Participatory Medicine.

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From Psych Central's website:
Understanding and Building a 'Me' Marriage | Healing Together for Couples (1/12/2011)

    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 6 Jan 2011
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.