What I see more and more is couples where there is no real problem with communication. Husband knows what wife wants and expects. Wife knows what husband wants and expects. The problem is that the wants and expectations are not only not met, but that each spouse doesn’t really want to meet them. Again, the issue is not the communication. It is WHAT is being communicated.

Compromise is not the simple answer, either. If a nearsighted person and a farsighted person go to the movies together, the compromise would be to sit in the middle of the theater. The only problem then is, neither would be able to see.

I find your articles consistently informative and helpful whether one is in the same profession or merely stopping by to explore and learn.

Life is a stressful event and good communication with others is a major key to survival. Good communication gives us more grounding experiences, a good feeling about ourself, and quite frankly, more sweetness in our relationships.

I also enjoyed the self esteem link to Dr. Stanley Gross’s article, particularly the example, “Pay attention to the familiarity of the impulse. Our tendency is to overreact in the same way to the same incident.” Who cannot identify with that sentence? Carl Jung might suggest that we have hit upon a complex; not that we had one but that the complex has us!

Sincerely,
Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP