Comments on: Not So Brady: 4 Rules for Staying Together When You Remarry with Kids http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/11/08/not-so-brady-4-rules-for-staying-together-when-you-remarry-with-kids/ Dr. John Grohol's daily update on all things in psychology and mental health. Since 1999. Sat, 26 May 2012 02:27:01 +0000 hourly 1 By: Mary http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/11/08/not-so-brady-4-rules-for-staying-together-when-you-remarry-with-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-637128 Mary Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:44:48 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/?p=6308#comment-637128 It's a good article. I have one small suggestion to improve the "sandwich" request: there is some research showing that the "BUT"..., as in Acknowledgement...BUT...Appreciation, invalidates the first Acknowledgement. (BUT is conditional) and on some level (that's the research part), the brain hears it as invalidating. I've heard it stated as improved with: Acknowledgement... AND I would just like them to say hello to me when I walk in a room; Thank you for being so considerate of my feelings. "But" is a small, but powerful word. Other than that, all are great rules. (I think the filling was too large for the bread in this sandwich!) It’s a good article. I have one small suggestion to improve the “sandwich” request: there is some research showing that the “BUT”…, as in Acknowledgement…BUT…Appreciation, invalidates the first Acknowledgement. (BUT is conditional) and on some level (that’s the research part), the brain hears it as invalidating.

I’ve heard it stated as improved with:
Acknowledgement… AND I would just like them to say hello to me when I walk in a room; Thank you for being so considerate of my feelings.

“But” is a small, but powerful word. Other than that, all are great rules. (I think the filling was too large for the bread in this sandwich!)

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