Even as I love the autumn season, it is full of anxiety for me.
I start to mourn the ending of summer when I hear the cicadas grow louder the last two weeks of August and when I feel the crispness in the air at that time, which brings less sunlight and longer nights. Then the back-to-school craze: buying shoes, supplies, backpacks, etc. and trying to catch up on the homework we didn’t do during June and July. By the time I make it to the parent-teacher conferences in early September, when I hear about all the things I’m supposed to be doing with the kids, I’m well into panic mode.
Yesterday my therapist and I talked about a few coping exercises to keep my anxiety from disabling me this time of year.
1. Pick a sound or object to be your Xanax.
My therapist looks up to the clouds. They calm her down in traffic or whenever she feels anxious. For me it’s the water. I don’t now if it’s because I’m a Pisces (fish), but the water has always calmed me down in the same way as Xanax, and since I don’t take the latter (as a recovering alcoholic, I try to stay away from sedatives), I need to rely on the former. So I just downloaded some “ocean waves” that I can listen to on my iPod when I feel that familiar knot in my stomach.
2. Repeat: “I am good enough.”
My therapist reminded me this morning that even if I don’t meet other people’s standards or my own, I am good enough for myself. And that’s all that really matters. So whenever I feel the pinch of anxiety when I don’t have time to call back a friend or send a response to an email or write the blog post that I said I’d write, I should remind myself that I am good enough for me.
3. Take it one minute at a time.
One cognitive adjustment that helps relieve anxiety is reminding myself that I don’t have to think about 2:45 pm when I pick up the kids from school and how I will be able to cope with the noise and chaos when I’m feeling this way, or about the boundary issue I have with a friend–whether or not I’m strong enough to continue putting myself first in that relationship. All I have to worry about is the very second before me. If I am successful at breaking my time down that way, I usually discover that everything is fine for the moment.
4. Pay attention to your breath.
Another easy exercise to ground yourself in the moment and manage anxiety is to concentrate on your breath–and move it ever so gradually from your chest to your diaphragm–because the extra oxygen will send a message to your prefrontal cortex that every thing is just fine even though the fear center of the brain (the amygdala) doesn’t think so at all.
5. Learn from it.
Anxiety doesn’t have to be triggered by an event, but it certainly can motion some adjustment that you need to make in your life. My anxiety says that I am doing too much, once again. Over the summer I forgot about my fragile chemistry and attempted to work full time and take care of the kids full time until, in August, I was going on fumes. What adjustments do I need to make? Bite off less professionally and invest more energy into finding good help for the kids and housework. Because I can’t do it all.
What about you? What techniques do you use when you feel anxious?
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Links to This Article
Effective Ways Of Managing Anxiety (9/16/2009)
Week Five Copy « A Plan for Healthy Living (9/21/2009)
20 Comments to
“5 Simple Exercises for Managing Anxiety”
i love your post!
I normally approach about 2-3 of these approaches at any giv ime, but nowadaysmy aiety is really getting ba.
I try to focus on affirmtions, and having a sense of ahievement at the end of the day. Sometimes, I write down in a blog or in my calendar that I have achieved something, no matter how small. I try to keep a shcedule, and if days are really difficult, I will put things down that cos me a lot of emotional effort, even if it includes brushing my teeth.
a nice post with simple interventions. A cognitive intervention, while easy to advise but hard to put into place, is just this:
stop WHAT IF, and instead focus on WHAT IS and HOW TO BE.
One of the biggets mistakes I see in my office these days is “I need a pill to take away my anxiety”, and yet people almost always have some psychosocial stressors that play a sizeable role to the angst in the first place.
Hence, pills don’t give you skills, so learn the skills and hopefully you’ll need less, if any, pills.
Half the battle is framework, so frame it so it makes you more positive and productive.
Again, nice post for the general public.
It is funny that there is so much about the use of pills to make up for common stress responses. I was just reading about michael Jackson’s reliance and the new measure jerry brown is taking to combat the issue over on emotional brain training news. Emotional Brain Training News Sounds like some others might be interested
Excellent article Therese. I will share it with my readers and link back to your article here.
One of the best techniques I’ve found is simply to refocus your mind on something good (positive or funny) the second you feel the pinch of anxiety or panic coming on. This takes a bit of practice but works great once you learn it. Thanks again!
This may appear to be too simple, but what has really helped me is to stop being upset about being upset. When I welcome negative feelings as something that I am experiencing rather than something that is wrong with me and needs to be fixed, everything just seems to settle down.
I also accept the fact that I can feel whatever comes along; the one thing I can almost have total control is my behavior. I work hard not to have negative emotions drive my behavior. The control does great things for my self-esteem.
I know tip number two is great!
Say more that you’r good enough, say that you are great! Don’t compare to others!
Thanks!
tip number 3 and 4 is what I’m doing. Thanks for sharing this topic to us. Another thing that I do is that I listen to music and will make me feel happy.
i usually calm myself down by taking 6 to 10 deep breath.
Breathe in for a count of 4sec/hold that breath for a count of 7sec./exhale breath to a count of 8 sec. Do this cycle a minimum of 4 times-More IF you have the time. It WILL relax you.(Remember,4-7-8)
Great stuff, all! I especially relate to letting go of being upset over being upset. Stops the “compounding” right then and there. Thanks for the post, I’m a therapist and will share it with my clients, crediting you, of course.
I am determined this winter to find JOY IN THE SEASON - not dread the cold winds blowing. I have made up my mind not to be ‘housebound’ - i have promised my self and my children we will get out for walks etc. I hate that an outsound event/force has control over me and refuse to allow this to continue.I will make some time to go out to a theater, lunch at a restaurant, meet with friends, etc and I will love to wrap myself in a cozy new scarf and mitts - and i will wear COLOUR lots of colour - this winter will be a great one!!!!!!!
There are so many suggestions here, my therapist has already tried to convince me to practice doing…..Set BOUNDARIES..There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, before helping others (family members)…You have to help yourself, before you can help others… If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be ABLE to take care of others!! … I’M STILL WORKING ON THAT!! …
THINGS THAT CALM ME AND MAKE ME FEEL GOOD: Looking at a CLEAR BLUE SKY (MY FAVORITE COLOR)… OR, A BEAUTIFUL SUNSET OR A SUNRISE, WHICH I DESCRIBE AS GOD’S BEAUTIFUL ART WORK!!! ALSO, LOOKING UP AT THE STARS ON A CLEAR NIGHT!!! IF I’M NOT ABLE TO SEE THESE THINGS IN THOSE SPECIAL MOMENTS, I CAN THINK ABOUT THEM AND THE CALMING AFFECT THEY HAVE ON ME.
OH, AND OF COURSE, THE AWESOME AUTUMN COLORED LEAVES ON THE TREES IS ANOTHER CALMING AFFECT FOR ME. I DON’T HAVE CHILDREN, SO THE CHANGING LEAVES DON’T REMIND ME OF SCHOOL ACTIVITIES, OR HECTIC SCHEDULES.
GOOD FOR YOU..BROADBRUSH!!! THE FRESHLY FALLEN SNOW IS JUST AS BEAUTIFUL TO ME AS THE AUTUMN LEAVES!!! LAST WINTER I DIDN’T GET OUT MUCH, AND REALLY FELT “CLOSED IN”!! I HAD SURGERY DECEMBER 16, 2008, THEN WAS PUT ON DISABILITY. SO I WAS RECOVERING FROM SURGERY, WHEN I USE TO BE ENJOYING THE BEAUTIFUL WINTER DRIVE TO AND FROM WORK!! I WILL TRY TO ENJOY THIS WINTER MORE THAN LAST WINTER, ALSO. THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME TO DO THAT!!! ENJOY YOUR WINTER!!!
I do the work as described by Byron Katie. All the tools and info is available on her website thework.com
PEACE 
“Use your SKILLS, not your PILLS.” Good advice if you’re NOT bipolar! I am going in for an ENG on Tuesday - a testing that my new physical therapist called “brutal.” I’m NOT supposed to take any antidepressants or tranquilizers for TWO days before the test. That’s just it - I HAVE to take my meds! My new roommate noticed that the instructions said -”You SHOULD avoid…” NOT “DO NOT.” I am QUITE anxious about this diagnostic test, and KNOW I will HAVE to take my meds irregardless. I’m NOT looking forward to it; but my DR is using it to diagnose what has caused my vertigo for the last 3 months. It is supposed to tell whether my CNS or my BRAIN itself, is involved with the dizziness. I have lost ALL my summer, and don’t want to lose the Fall (my favorite season!). Please PRAY for me; I need all the good wishes I can get!
SuzanneWA,
Do what you have to do during the days leading up to the test. Taking your medication should not cause you the further harm that may come from suddenly stopping it. Notify your doctor so that she or he is aware of ALL your medical issues. I send all good wishes and prayers that you find an answer to your vertigo problem in time to remedy it and enjoy a wonderful Fall!
Hello all:
First off, there is NO reason to be embarrased or ashamed of if you have anxiety, and/or need
meds to treat it, although finding the right one may be a challenge. However, my life didn’t even begin until I started on medication. I wouldn’t be here without it. Please nobody go off thier meds!!!
I found a wonderful quote. “Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tommorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.”
In the words of Mark Twain: “95% of the things we worry about will never happen.
My Therapist has told me that one many times.
Melissa Wright
Therese, I always enjoy your posts. Anxiety is so prevalent. So many of my clients experience it, and for many, treatment involves the right combination of cognitive and behavioral management and medication. It is not necessarily an either/or. For many people (myself included) the solution is a both… and… approach that allows them to make use of multiple resources. In short, I believe, in many cases, that both skills and pills can equal help and healing.
Each person should carefully explore their options and decide what seems best. This may be trial and error or it may be acting on the advise of someone trustworthy and experienced in treating anxiety successfully. I believe that pushing the “no pills ever” agenda can be very shaming for those who do, in fact, need them as part of what helps them function in a healthy way. I don’t think meds in and of themselves are the complete answer. Many times, though, therapy is not the complete answer either. Don’t forget about artistic expression and interaction with animals, too. Coloring books are still fun for adults, as are Light Brights and magnet sets and Play-Dough. And enjoying a good book or something funny on TV. Just like pills, not all TV is bad.
Carmella Broome EdS LPC LMFT/I
Crossroads Counseling Center, Lexington SC
Author of Carmella’s Quest: Taking On College Sight Unseen (Red Letter Press 2009)
http://CarmellasQuest.LiveJournal.com
Regular aerobic exercise, improving sleep hygiene and reducing caffeine are often useful in treating anxiety.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 Sep 2009
