If you’re interested in your partner, sex, with or without an orgasim, is great. JUST ENJOY.

Of course, if you’re getting paid for having sex, time is money.

(And yes, I am FULLY aware of the irony in this statement. )

The best orgasms that I have is when partners have warm hands and warm wet tongues, take their time, meaning they use their tongues slowly, not rapidly. When using a tongue, they don’t swat at my cliterous, or suck on it, or pull it with their teeth, which is painful. When there is constant saliva and pressure on the tongue to my cliterous, I relax, and then in about 15 minutes or less, I’ll have one.

“The real story is that women fake orgasms because they don’t like sex anyway. The real secret about sex between men and women is that women Don’t Like Sex…and they only engage for very defined reasons…not because they Like it…I can prove everything and more about the MYTH!”

Oh really? What are you a Professor of, Misogyny?
If you think women don’t, or can’t enjoy sex, you’re either talking to the wrong women, or you have some sort of agenda or bias, likely religious in origin.
_________________________________________________
@Peter, who said: “woman can fake an orgasm, man can fake an entire relationship”.

An old quote, only partially true. The reality is that self-centered, deceptive men can, and do, fake
the emotions that their partner is looking for in order to maintain a relationship that is convenient
for them in some way. The other half of the truth?
Sadly, there are women who do the EXACT SAME THING.
__________________________________________________

@CEE – a perfect example of the mindset of some (immature) males that I was criticizing in my first point. That is what it comes down to, after-
all. Maturity. Ever watched children as they grow up? When they’re really young, they are totally self-centered…”Mine, Mine!!!” They have to learn
to share, to think beyond the self. Any man who has the attitude “Fake away! I don’t care. Whether or not you orgasm, I still get mine!” is proving that he has never reached the level of maturity where he can rein in his own drives long enough to care about someone else. I pity not only their sexual partners, but them.
__________________________________________________
@kindereier –
If only this were true. I can’t tell from your post if you’re a man or a woman, but either way I think you’re underestimating how dense some guys can be…how inattentive they are to their partner.
Yes, her body lets you know in no uncertain terms when she’s reached orgasm…if you’re paying attention!

Thats why the few times I’ve had a woman fake one with me, I’ve known immediately it wasn’t real…for me that was just the equivalent of getting “the tap”…she wasn’t really into it anymore. When I know that, I don’t continue…why
bother?________________________________________________
@MaiChibwe
“How representative was the sample of different cultures?”
Considering it was done at a college in Kansas, I would say…not very!

@Nancy (and anyone else like her) – If you have to wonder whether or not you’ve ever had an orgasm, then I suspect you haven’t had one, and I know one thing for sure…you’ve never masturbated. Theres nothing wrong with it, modern medicine has proved its many bennefits. For one thing, it helps a woman learn about her own body, and its responses, which will let her be a useful guide to any male lover she has, enhancing the experience for both of you.

The thing about sex with a partner is that there are simply too many variables that can affect whether you’re able to orgasm. You’re relying on the partner to make it happen, and frankly, there are far too many men who lack the knowledge, experience, or motivation to make it happen. As some posts here indicate, there are a number of males out there who are concerned about orgasm being reached: if its his. Their attitude toward her pleasure is along the lines of “oh thats nice” if it happens to occur. So, ladies, if you let yourself be your own lover, you never have to worry about trusting your sexual fate to someone
who may not really care about it.

If you can get past any guilt or taboo you have associated with this, buy a small vibrator that doesn’t look too scary to you (you can mail-order them). Next step, go to any of the many websites (since you’re obviously online) that will educate you on female anatomy, so you’ll know for sure where to find the most important places to stimulate (your clitoris especially).

Then just make some quiet time for yourself…take a long soothing bath to help you relax…and then just lie on your bed and lightly run your hands over your skin, carressing yourself. Go slow. Only gradually shift to sensitive areas, like your breasts. Take your time and explore what feels best, and only use the vibe when you’re ready to intensify things. I realize that vibrators aren’t for everyone, so if you don’t like the way it feels (try the different settings) just keep using your hands.

I also realize that not everyone will orgasm from sex, or even from masturbation. If you can’t reach orgasm either way, then I would recommend its time to consult a Doctor. (Although, if you do have a partner, and he cares about getting you there… you need to try having him give you oral sex.)

As a straight male, I believe that one of the greatest responsibilities and privileges of being male is having the opportunity to make love to a woman. Men who have never placed their partner’s full satisfaction before their own basic needs have
missed out on a deeper sense of fulfillment, that surpasses merely reaching their own climax. Oh, you will get that, too, but it won’t be the be-all
and end-all of the experience for you.

Surely men must know that sometimes it does not happen for us and be OK with it. For a man to pretend it has happened is even more curious.

The article makes out that faking is common practice, I would whether it is only in certain cultures. How representative was the sample of different cultures?

A woman faking an orgasm is like a fish without a bicycle.

I’m amazed at people. I truly am. Anyone–any man, anyway–who claims he’s there for *her* orgasm, is a loathsome deceiver hedging his bets, or he’s a fool.
Go on! Fake away! It’s the equivalent of a cheap, after-dinner peppermint placed by your plate at a pizza joint: *it has nothing whatever to do with what you’re there for*.

This I feel would also go along way in removing the act or need to “fake it”

Thank you
Regards
Dawn Pugh

Wow. I thought I was the only one who felt that way!

Example: Could you imagine someone with crappy and sexual skills (use your imagination!) taking Schnarch to heart, self-validating himself and differentiating himself anyway, and saying “I am the MAN!”…while leaving you high and dry? Or, more likely, low (figuratively) and dry (literally)?

Well, as Schnarch himself says in the section you quote: “The less comfortable way to be intimate is to validate oneself, independent of the partner’s response.”

I don’t know about you, but my response to a male lover like that would be to self-validate and differentiate myself right out of that bed (and that relationship, for that matter). Forever!