Today I have the honor of interviewing Vivian Eisenecher, author of “Recovering Me, Discovering Joy,” and a sought after speaker, mentor and writer since 1996. Her other published works include articles for “Chicken Soup for the Soul” and Woman’s World. Her inspirational story has been enthusiastically received by churches, companies and corporations, national organizations and national associations. She is passionate about reducing the stigma of mental illness and substance abuse. She loves helping people meet their potential and discover joy in their lives!
Question: I love the definition of authentic success that you give in your book. You spell out PROCESS as an acrostic and go through the seven components of process. Could you abbreviate them here for my readers?
Vivian: Authentic success is not a destination. It is a PROCESS that includes: Perseverance, Resilience, Openness, Compatibility, Enthusiasm, Self-esteem, and finally, Spirituality.
Perseverance - The ability to stick with a project or situation until it is completed regardless of setbacks and disappointments.
Success in many things comes word-by-word, step-by-step, or stroke-by-stroke. Nothing is mastered in one giant leap forward. I thank God everyday for the gift of ’stick-to-it-iveness’ He has so graciously bestowed upon me. Perseverance has allowed me the successes I now enjoy, and continue to build on every day.
Resilience - The ability to roll with the punches, to deal effectively with life’s adversities. To continue to move forward even after failure.
I can’t begin to relate to you how many times I tried to stop drinking and failed. I would bet I tried to quit fifty times. So, what if I hadn’t made that fifty-first try to quit? I’d be dead! Boy, am I glad I decided to get up and try one more time. Today, I have deep-rooted resilience, and it is such a tremendous advantage for which I am grateful every day.
George Patton once said, “Success is how high you bounce after you hit bottom.” Well, I’m on a bungee cord to the heavens, and I’m taking everybody I know with me. I am sitting on one sweet victory, and the opportunities my failures have awarded me are astronomical.
Openness - This includes open-mindedness–being receptive to other arguments or ideas and open-endedness–not rigorously fixed.
To remain successful, we must consider any success as an open-ended project. It is a fluid, evolving experience, not a one-time event. In my mid-forties, I figured I had attained all my goals. I had a beautiful boy and girl, a nice home, and I was happily married to a successful husband. I was even a good tennis player, which was very important to me at the time. By the standards I was brought up to believe in, I had done well. I had ‘arrived!’
I had arrived all right, and was on the brink of complete destruction.
I had what looked like success, but I didn’t have authentic success. Why? My thinking was closed-ended, and my life was at a dead-end. I had stopped imagining. I had stopped dreaming. I wasn’t open to new challenges, new opportunities for success.
We must look at every completion as a new beginning. Today, I have learned to leave the door open, and listen for new thoughts…
Compatibility - The ability to exist together in harmony. But authentic success means much more than that.
One of the best ways to become successful is to surround ourselves with successful people. Behind every achiever is usually another achiever. No-one achieves greatness without the help of others. By reaching out to others with generosity, we lay the foundation for lasting relationships.
The most powerful tool we have for building lasting and mutually beneficial relationships is a service attitude, in which our goal in every relationship is to add value to the other person’s life. If we approach our relationships with that attitude, we will always be able to find shelter in the friendship and trust of others.
Enthusiasm - The state of being inspired.
Enthusiasm is one of the most empowering and attractive characteristics we can have. The level of our talent isn’t nearly as important as the intensity of our passion.
When we’re passionate, we’re focused, purposeful, and determined, without even having to try. Pursuing our passion will sustain us when no external rewards seem evident. The chance for success at what we are passionate about is much greater than anywhere else in our lives.
When we enjoy doing something, we make it a priority. We discipline ourselves to be able to include it in our lives. We make sacrifices in other areas of our life in order to be able to concentrate on our passion. And sacrifice is usually the only difference between those who succeed and those who don’t.
Self-esteem - The appreciation of one’s worth.
Without self-esteem, it’s difficult to tap into our inner strengths. Self-esteem is a tool that can help us weather thousands of obstacles.
Having a self-worth more powerful than any rejection or failure that we encounter enables us to move forward with confidence. With high self-esteem, it is difficult for failures to defeat us. We can accept setbacks and move on. This kind of self-worth is essential for continued success.
Spirituality - One’s personal relationship with God
By adhering to God’s principles on a daily basis, we exponentially increase our chances of success. Nothing can compare to the power derived from our trusting acceptance of His gentle perfection. On the contrary, by refusing to place God first, I am deprived of His help.
Belief in God’s great power carries a huge amount of positives in concentrated form. Faith increases our social awareness, expanding our interest and perspective. Keeping God central in my life helps keep me from getting all mucked up in self-gratification, which is one of the core traits often found among the success-challenged.
Success is best achieved under His direction. Fulfilling our uniqueness within His moral and ethical guidelines will bring us success upon success. When we start having little victories, a momentum begins. Every success empowers us for more success. As we become more successful, we are in a position to give more and take less. All of my successes since I turned my life around are a direct result of adherence to His plan, which includes: Perseverance, Resilience, Openness, Compatibility, Enthusiasm, Self-esteem and Spirituality. This is my continuous path for authentic success.
Question: What would you say is the hardest part about being both and addict and a depressive would be?
Vivian: My low grade depression (dysthymia) fueled my alcoholism. It was a catalyst, a trigger. But when I was depressed and drinking for relief, I was miserable. Not only did I feel bad (depressed) but I felt bad about my drinking, too! I didn’t want to give up alcohol because I thought it was the only solution for me. It lifted me up if just for a little while. But alcohol is a depressant and so I would sink lower requiring more alcohol for the same affect. That is the classic definition of addiction, isn’t it? And so it became a deadly cycle for me.
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Links to This Article
Recovery From Addiction and Depression: An Interview with Vivian … | Addiction live today (8/29/2009)
Recovery From Addiction and Depression: An Interview with Vivian Eisenecher | Alcoholic Addict (8/30/2009)
Recovery From Addiction and Depression: An Interview with Vivian Eisenecher | Alcoholic Helpline (8/30/2009)
9 Comments to
“Recovery From Addiction and Depression: An Interview with Vivian Eisenecher”
As an atheist in recovery, I find that theistic spirituality is pushed too hard and too often. This much to the detriment of those who are trying to recover from depression and/or substance abuse without relying on yet more “stinkin’ thinkin’”, to ironically use AA’s terminology.
If people find solace in a god, that’s great for them. But when they push it as if it’s The Only True Way to recovery, it both crosses the line and crosses others’ healthy boundaries as well.
Dear Gregg,
I don’t feel that a belief in God is “the only way out” of depression and substance abuse. And I don’t believe I’ve said that in any of my writings. I’m sorry you made such a deduction from the article.
I know for a fact that there are many atheists in recovery. May you find much happiness in your continued recovery.
Take care for now,
Vivian
Wow Gregg I really think you read my mind. Also being an athiest I really don’t feel like I need god to feel whole.
Hi, Vivian:
Thanks for your reply. I surmised your position from the part which talks about *authentic* success, which necessarily included a theistic spirituality. But I clearly misunderstood your position. Thank you for the response!
hi,
i found this interview quite encouraging. i have visited vivian’s website and i might buy and download the ebook.
but like gregg, i am wary of investing my time in ideas that are mirrored in 12 step programs even though such programs may be capable of helping many god-centered people.
vivian’s website IMO suggests that she is a very worthwhile christian motivational speaker. if that is your cup of tea, go for it.
although i am probably an atheist, i do not consider this an important issue and never given it enough serious thought that i would ever attempt to refute or condemn the spirituality of others which is very helpful to them.
i am not a christian and if there is a god he or she has a lot to answer for when i see him.
my limited–and i do say limited– understanding of 12 step programs is that these involve direct personal supplication to a supreme being. and i do not doubt that this will have practical results even if there is no such being because it organizes ones thoughts under very adverse circumstances where any plan is better than no plan at all. and if loving god can teach people to be more compassionate towards each other then i am all for it.
but given my mental health problems, i do not think it would be instructive in my case to substitute one delusion for another even if it gains me social acceptance and access to many more charitable resources. that’s part of what makes me crazy i guess.
She is passionate about -reducing- the stigma of mental illness
By how much?
You could stop asserting it, that would reduce it by one voice.
In turn that would stop anyone who reads your words from echoing them.
It is easy to stop. Please do.
Harold A. Maio, retired Mental Health Editor
khmaio@earthlink.net
Hi, 314159pi:
I agree with you that belief in the divine is not something I would want to debate if it seems worthwhile and helpful to a believer’s recovery. But I do find it crosses my own boundaries when others assert that addiction is a “spiritual disease” or that belief in a higher power is a key step to recovery.
From the AA meetings I’ve been to, I find that they vary. Some attitudes are “take what you can, and leave the rest” while others are very insistent on a belief in some sort of higher power. I’ve been told that that higher power can be anything, even a lightbulb! While I understand that this was an attempt to comfort me, I ultimately found it an insult to my intelligence.
I also find the quasi-prayers and the reference to God (even if it’s just “as you understand Him”) to be very off-putting. But even religious views aside, I have other issues with AA and did not find it at all helpful, such as the progressive disease model of addiction, the lack of cross-talk, the war stories, and the proselytizing necessitated by the 12th step, just to name a few. In fact, for me, I’d say AA was less than helpful - it was somewhat harmful.
I’m glad it’s around to help others if they like it. But it should never be pushed as the only way.
Sorry if this post is getting off-topic.
gregg i do not think you are off-topic because this interview advocates using aa for recovery. i m glad you took the time to share your own aa war story with me even if you don’t like the war stories told at aa about alcoholism.
no irony intended. we engage in what we find relevant to our own lives.
I applaud and agree with everything you said. It validates my own experience with depression and mental illness. I was particularly glad to see your comments on spirituality and the implied notion that recovery can be a pursuit of joy.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Aug 2009
