One of my depression busters is to “become the expert.”
This means, as I’m peeing my pants about where Eric and I are going to get our next paycheck, I am doling out advice on how to cope with such anxiety. In telling someone else what you are supposed to be doing, I actually learn the lesson myself. And then I think if I can actually fool people into thinking that I have it all together, maybe I could have it altogether.
Nah…..
A few days ago a reader wrote me this email:
Lately I have been nearly paralyzed with fear and anxiety about financial issues. I have contacted my former shrink and hope she will take me back. Could you possible write an entry about dealing with and handling such fear? I’m sure that it would help me so much.
Ironically, I read it an hour after I got off the phone with my friend Michelle and vented about all the anxiety I have lately regarding finances, and that I’ve never in my whole life — that includes college — not been able to pay off my credit card. To this OCDer who loves numbers — that is, BLACK numbers — a little red ink can send me into a tissy.
What do I do? These two things. (Twin powers, activate!)
1. Imagine the worst. That’s not a typo. Interestingly enough, going to the absolute worst scenario in that imagination of yours can bring peace.
The second time I was hospitalized, I was disabled in panic: fear that I would never get well, fear that I would be hospitalized for a year like some of the other patients, fear that I would never be able to work again or contribute anything to my family or the community.
Then my friend Mike told me to forget about it. Forget about all those “goals” or “aspirations” … the ones that required me to graduate from the psych ward ASAP. “You’re fine,” he said in the most peaceful way. “You’ve got everything you need.”
I will always remember that moment.
So when I am wrapped in anxiety about something like having no money to pay for swim lessons and school uniforms for the kids, I go to a place in my mind where I don’t need the school uniforms and swim lessons.
I remind myself that if both Eric and I can’t find work, then we can sell our house and buy a very small apartment in the suburbs. We can pluck our kids from Catholic school, even as much as I would hate doing that, and move to a better school district where they could go to public school free.
We will still have running water.
We would have a roof over our heads.
We both could possibly wait tables or work at a bookstore, or something that would at least provide minimum pay.
2. Be like an eagle.
The other day when I was looking for the origins of one of my favorite songs, “On Eagles’ Wings,” I came across this beautiful explanation of what that song means on Bob and Brenda’s “On Eagles Wings” page. Their friend, Veronica Evans, said this in an e-mail:
Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.
Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.
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4 Comments to
“Cope with Financial Panic and Recession Anxiety”
I have used your advice (and dispensed it) many times, on going to the scary place and imagine yourself coping there.
As for the eagle, I’m trying to come up with concrete examples of soaring in the midst of a storm. I suppose it relates to using affirmations as a means of persisting in scary times. Taking deep breaths, telling oneself, “no matter what, we’ll get through this” or, “I’m going to be ok. I’m a smart person who can figure things out. I’ll figure this out, too.” Or, taking risks.
Am I on the right track?
After all, it’s just stuff. Even if the worst DID happen, you’d still be alive to tell about it, right?
i’ve recently lost my lover, my best friend and my home (i know, sounds like a country song). While recuperating in a loony bin after a nearly successful suicide attempt, one of the things that helped pull me out of the funk was to embrace the concept of minimalism, as i always have. If you embrace and accept the fact that it’s just stuff, and it doesn’t really define who and what you are, then the problem seems less important.
I wish you the best of luck.
Rob
Hello Rob,
I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re exhibiting great insight and much wisdom. Thank you for sharing.
Your words actually mimic that of one who has spiritual insight. Have you heard of psychiatrist Viktor Frankl? I would recommend reading his stellar book titled: Man’s Search for Meaning (2006). It has been renewed and offers great insight into his search for meaning while he suffered through a concentration camp.
The ultimate meaning of that story comes from the fact that he learned just how senseless the “material” world had become as a result of his gaining of insight about the world and what truly matters to the human species. Find that book at: http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251040677&sr=8-1
You are very right when you say that “it is just stuff.” If many more people understand what you understand about that “stuff,” I’m sure they would be more accepting of their lives, less competitive with one another, and more giving of their hearts and the things that truly create differences in this life.
You also mimic a book in the bible called Ecclesiastes (King James Version Bible) where Solomon (a very wise man) wrote about life and all the things that weren’t truly meaningful or made sense to the “spiritualized” and mature man (i.e., man meaning the human race). I would encourage you to seek that book out through the bible; it is Ecclesiastes Chapter 1-12. If you do not have a bible, you can get one online for free at http://christianity.about.com/od/practicaltools/ht/freebible.htm
or online at http://www.ebible.com/.
I hope you will seek it out and embrace the story that tends to mimic the thinking of today’s human beings. It truly is not “religious jargon” from the past, you just have to open your mind to it.
You’re on the right path! Best wishes
Bravo for having this topic on your web site! As a whole health coach, I encounter so many people today who are experiencing exactly the kind of stress you mention. What I see is that a grieving process is happening, and people don’t even realize it. It’s critical that people recognize this pattern and work through the emotions as they come up.
If you’d like an additional resource to offer people going through this grieving process, please feel free to pass along this complimentary eBook – http://www.lemonadenetwork.com.
Danny Fitzpatrick
danny@LemonadeNetwork.com
Co-Author of “Emotional Stimulus Package: Your Guide to Re-creating the American Dream”
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 22 Aug 2009
