Sometimes our venting sounds “ungrateful” but it really is just an inspection of our true feelings. We need that sometimes so that we can re-evaluate as you appear to have done. You don’t have to apologize at all…we’re only human:)

I wish you the best!

Thanks for offering up another point of view. My parents have expressed that they wish me to focus on school, and school alone so I will do well later in life. I completely understand what you said about material posessions as well. I also need to learn to be more grateful.

After reading the article, I guess I was sadly reminded of the fact that a relationship is harder to discover and maintain after college. But, like you said, when its time, its time.

Thank you for the encouragement. I guess I just needed to “vent” today. Again, I apologize for the negative comments I left.

If someone places that much emphasis on material, they are not worth your time. I hope you will remember that.

Allow me to give you another perspective about your parents. I do not know your parents, so my assumption may be off, but usually good parents who UNCONDITIONALLY love their children and care for them, want the best for them and that sometimes includes keeping them focused on acadamia, their future, and life goals, which can appear as if they do not want you to find happiness in a relationship.
All throughout my adolescence and college years my mother expressed to me that she wanted me to succeed and create for myself a meaningful life, which excluded actively pursuing relationships. Realistically, while relationships can be beautiful and fulfilling, they can also be destructive, hurtful, debilitating, and even dangerous. Perhaps your parents are trying to protect you and keep you on a sturdy path until you have achieved certain goals in your life. Many scientists, psychologists, and other professionals have had to delay immediate gratification in order to achieve. Your parents may be trying to help you facilitate your potential.

If this is not the case, then I can totally understand your feelings and would encourage you to let life happen. If a relationship occurs in your life, great! If not, life goes on…right?

Don’t be discouraged; when it’s time things will fall into place.

I probably couldn’t meet anyone anyway because I don’t have rich parents paying for a university education. Even with my scholarships, I still couldn’t afford it.

It’s two years at a community college for me. Yep, I think I’ll just give up on finding anyone or having a nice life…everything sucks. Got a 4.0 last semester…but I could really care less.

I received college credit for several courses without ever attending classes, saving me the cost of tuition and books, and the time to endure classes and homework.

I believed I had learned enough through my life experiences that pertained to particular courses so I created a portfolio of my life experiences and presented it to my college for credit.

It worked!

If I can do it, anyone can.

You can find out more at http://www.earncollegecreditnow.com.

As a student of counseling and clinical psychology, I do understand your past feelings of “not knowing what the….you were doing.” Most counselors and psychologists feel this way. Sitting under a professor who talks at you while you passively take notes, doesn’t always help you to capture the essence of your field or your profession in a way that helps you understand what you are to do. In other words, hands-on-experience usually helps students feel most confident (I know it did for me).

That is why I encouraged internships a few posts above. They are great for helping to build confidence, reassurance, and even expertise!

A few years later, I did get am MA in Counseling psychology from the U of Oregon. Although I was at the head of my class, I felt I did not know what the hell I was doing when I graduated, unlike everyone else, who felt they were now experts. Even after another supervised Internship at the U of O Counseling center, I still felt my counseling performance was more a matter of luck than anything else.

Then, finally, I found the mentors and teachers I knew I could work with to become competent in the field I really was most interested in, and which was Group Psychotherapy, and Psychodrama. Another few years that took.

When I re-read my comment, it seemed very straight to the point and perhaps a bit gloomy. But I assure you, I’m not trying to be “negative,” only realistic, which I believe was Dr. Grohol’s intent as well.

You can sum my previous post up to say: in order to survive college life… “know-thyself” and know yourself well!

Everyone doesn’t have to attend college. College doesn’t make you “intelligent.” I’m a firm believer that college only helps you to strenghten the skills you may have already had, and in some cases helps add to your pool of knowledge. Some students come out of college worse off than they were before they went in! Some graduate with a cumulative GPA of 2.0 or lower. Other’s graduate depressed and regressing to a younger stage of development, say teenage years because they cannot stand the thought of becoming an adult.

In short, college is good for those who want to go, can stand the pressure of going, can stand the studying, can stand the pressure found living and attending school with certain people for 4-5 years, and who are dedicated to surviving so that they can ultimately achieve their goal. That was me in college. I had to have tunnle vision, and remain a commuter in order to sustain my sanity.

Trade schools are sometimes better than certain college programs for certain kids.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that another good survival tip may include determining if college life is truly for you. Instead of following the rest of the “sheet herd” you may need to become a maverick and determine if college is something that works well for you. I’m not trying to be pessimistic or discouraging, but it is only realistic to mention that.

Good luck!

My oldest son just graduated High School, and he does not wish to attend College even if he has a College fund that my mother set up for her grand kids.

I figure, that is fine. He should work, or learn a trade, and then maybe he will change his mind after he has had the chance to live in the ‘real world’. That working also will benefit his self esteem a lot more than going to College.

I never was interested in studying Liberal Arts for four years and wasting my time with just more learning that did not apply to anything useful. So, I majored in Nursing, got a BS in Nursing with two clinical years in NYC, that were above fantastic. The first year was all science, and the last year I did in Vienna, Austria, to finish up my Liberal Arts requirements.

Most people who come here have psychological, or psychiatric issues, or otherwise work with those who do AFTER they had their own, or still have their own.

Some careers will almost force you to need mom and dad a bit longer, especially as a result of our current job market. My career is clinical and counseling psych, it’s stressful and the good pay is quite a few years away. Considering this type of situation and others alike, living with mom and dad should be acceptable, as long as you respect their space and will be willing to leave once you are stable.

While I do agree that some of the article’s tips can come across as quite negative, there is much truth to most of them. Instead of partying, studying should take precedence as well as finding a serious relationship. When I attended college, not too long ago as I am now a graduate student, most of the time college took up my social life. Partying, lounging, having fun, etc. was not on my “to-do list” most days but studying was and finding a true friendship/relationship that could benefit my life in a positive way.

“Appreciating the gift that college is” is a very important tip. College is a gift, as many cannot afford to go, have the patience or even ability to stay, or the time. Life calls on certain people to pursue a job instead of college. Many do not have parents to pay their way through school, while they party and have fun. The pressures of life take that joyous time away from them. COLLEGE IS A GIFT! Make the most of it, learn the most from it, and come out feeling as though you’ve put in valuable time and will reap valuable rewards.

For some professions, college is the entry to a higher calling, higher degree, a higher career position, and higher pay. Take college seriously and benefit from all the resources you have there. Utilize your career services, seek internships for professional and personal development, even if your program doesn’t require an internship, utilize relationships with professors, good fellow class-mates, and mentors, and use some of your free time to make the most of your time. Partying and playing video games, if that’s what you like to do, is okay to release stress, but only in its proper place.

“Dropping “toxic” friends and relationships” is very significant advice. Those toxic friends may graduate with you, become a part of your life, and half destroy everything you’ve ever worked for. Again, college is a privilage. Take it seriously.

College should truly be seen as a “kindergarten level of development.” It should be viewed as an opportunity to grow, change, learn, and even fail so that you can step into the world, a job position, or graduate school half perfected! Blowing college is a no-no, and a no-win situation. Believe me…I’ve seen it happen to even the best of them.

What this article stated is essentially true and should be taken into consideration. As a former college student myself, I saw many many things that disturbed me about college life. No one took their education, studies, or time seriously. It was about status, social inclusion, fun, “living it up,” fitting in, and doing all that they could without parental rule. While this is okay in its place, college is not necessarily the place for this type of experimentation. You can do this in life for free!
College for them was an opportunity to be free from parental rule, have a false sense of freedom and adulthood, and have someone pay their way. No one truly put their time into developing as a person, as an adult. Becoming a well-rounded citizen was on the back-burner for them.

Don’t let that be you! Do something productive! There are many things in which you can get involved with to make your college experience valuable.
I wish my fellow-classmates had these 5 survival tips when we first started college. They were so lost in what to do with their time, and didn’t even recognize that they were.

Instead of looking at this article as a negative, take the pros and leave whatever cons you may see. In other words, “eat the meat and throw the bone away.” Take what you can from this article, utilize what you can, and ignore what may sound offensive.

Best of luck