Comments on: Dads, Daughters and Body Image

By: Annie

Annie — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 11:29:48 +0000

I was sexually abused by my father and he would give my candy and treats and tell me he loved me and would never do anything to hurt me ya right!!! my brothers did the same but they were mean called me fat girl teased me unmercifully just awfull then were nice and would share goodies i was so confused my mother was heavy did lots of baking cookies, cakes, and candy always told me i needed to lose weight not to be fat like her but too late, always was. thought it would keep men off me but only gave them more fuel to ridicule me with. grew up with eating disorders,personality disorder, self hatred, sick little girl. never had a chance and nobody to protect her or tell her it wasn’t me that was evil it was what was happening that was evil or i know, it was ok to love her father but hate what he was doing. instead i loved to hate him and hated myself for loving him and it hurt my soul. I carried that into my adulthood and all my relationships with men women food work church anything friends? didn’t need them. can’t trust anybody still. so don’t have any close friends. glad my kids are grown and gone, that was hard. weightloss a joke. 400lbs highest so far. recently lost 166lbs taking psych. meds for depression and bipolar and, and, and. but i’m strong and a survivor. I’m happy today and doing well i’m glad i’m me today and it’s a miracle to say that. so i just smile and know i’m fortunate and all is well just for today. I don’t know what it will take to make me happy tomorrow i’ll have to read the article below LOL thanks for this article i hope i haven’t overstepped any bounds. have never been able to bond with anyone even my grandkids i’m glad they are gone and i love them dearly but i can’t handle the everyday demands emotional attachments whatever it is i’m just glad they all live out of state and i hate myself for saying that it’s just not right but being honest with myself it’s the way i am i’m relieved i don’t deserve them or they deserve better i should say cause i can’t care i can act like i do for awhile but then it gets harder and addictions self destruction start getting in the way better stop…

By: Maria the Growing Taller Guru

Maria the Growing Taller Guru — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 04:13:47 +0000

This is a really wonderful article. I realized early on that I had to help my daughters realize that life isn’t about the image that we are made to believe it. But rather just being yourself and letting your life growing into it’s uniqueness for you. Not you conforming to life.

I love your blog.

Thanks

By: Daddy’s and Their Daughters | Small Hands, Big Ideas

Daddy’s and Their Daughters | Small Hands, Big Ideas — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:19:40 +0000

[...] care about what my dad thinks. Father’s also have a strong impact on influencing their daughters’ body image, thought process and relationship in terms of [...]

By: Dads, Daughters and Body Image | Business Advertising Daily

Dads, Daughters and Body Image | Business Advertising Daily — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 04:21:32 +0000

[...] about negative advertising and teaching your daughter to think critically about what she sees.more Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and [...]

By: The Impact of Dads on their Daughters’ Body Image « Kiss My Assets: The Body Image Resource Blog

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 21:27:34 +0000

[...] The impact of Dads (and step dads) on their daughters is profound. As the first man in their lives, Dads set the precedent of how daughters believe men see them. What do they value? Are looks a major issue? Do they see their daughters as a full “human” with thoughts, feelings, interests, and principles—or simply as a girl who should look and act a certain way? [...]

By: body loving blog-o-sphere 7.19.09 « medicinal marzipan

body loving blog-o-sphere 7.19.09 « medicinal marzipan — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 04:44:47 +0000

[...] World of Psychology, Dads, Daughters, and Body Image [...]

By: Lily

Lily — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:16:19 +0000

Wow, what a wonderful article. I wish I could have shared this with my own father when I was a child. I think one thing that should be noted/added, under “Remember You are a Role Model,” is that little girls (and boys!!!) listen to the messages you send about their mothers. Saying things like: “Oh, your mother is such a drama queen!” Even saying something as “harmless” to their mother like: “Hunny, you said you wanted to lose a few pounds. Do you really think you should have that extra piece of [insert food here]?” could cause a child to question their own body shape and eating habits. This is something I really picked up on from my own father. I saw how he treated my mother- distant and constantly pointing out her flaws, and began to apply what he said to her to myself.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:29:54 +0000

I love this article. I not having my father in my life for most of it being as my parents are not together and he lives in a different province knows that its very important to have that father role to look up to as a girl, Women will attract different types of men and women will look for men that are like there fathers, From the way they treat there wife, sttrangers, family, kids. and if your father is rude to your mother and makes jokes about her weight or apperance and tell hers that she need to lose weight or go to the gym or that she shouldnt be eatting that. She will grow up only knowing that and thinking apperance is the only thing that I have to offer I’d better not eat, or puke up what I do , or whatever the case maybe, she will learn to not accept herself the way she is and in turn she will look for guys that will treat her poorly,
But if your father is very kind and loving and on a daily bases says I love you, you are beautiful and smart than that sets a standard to what she will accept from a guy and what she wont, she will learn how to be treated with respect and in turn she will love her self because there is not negitive influence telling her other wise.
It really makes me mad that the media and Hollywood and peers put so much stress on image making a person feel like thats all they can offer anyone one of this world and you need it to get ahead in life. Its pathic that we let that control us and tell us how we are going to feel today. It makes me mad that there are so many people out there that cant love themselfs or ever be satisfied with them selfs and the body that God created so perfectly for a purpose, If he wanted everyone to look the same and think the same then he wouldhave created robots, being different is what makes YOU and me interesting and unique so why should we let others take that gift way from us.God would not should I say is not happy that there is so much focus on “Material ” things of this world, the things that in the end dont define if you are honest and caring and a good person its just a mask. We should enjoy what God had given us and enjoy life and freinds and family, Dont get me wrong being healthy is very important to me but if people are alot more lazy now a days then ever, back then everyone was working so hard all the time that there was not time to sit and eat a whole bag of chips, We as a society have got very lazy and unappreicative what what the world has to offer us the beauty in it , and not T.V.. so you see its very important that our parents are there and play that role of what we should believe and the morals that have installed into us. Fathers do your part please!.

By: Kirsten

Kirsten — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:41:28 +0000

Thanks for this, I’ll send it out to the dads I know. An additional thing I’d say is important about point 1 is that parents should watch what they say about their own bodies, and other peoples’. When I was 12, I wore a size 14. My dad never said anything negative to me directly, but it showed in his attitude towards others and still affected me. He constantly harped on my grandmother being fat and unhealthy, with the overtone that it was disgusting. I wore the same size as my grandmother. If she was fat and disgusting, then wasn’t I, too? Remember your kids can take in everything and anything you say.

By: Heather

Heather — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:29:00 +0000

P.S. I am a different Heather:)

By: Heather

Heather — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:27:48 +0000

I didn’t read anything about fathers teaching their SONS about loving a girl for who she is rather than what she looks like, this is probably the best way to teach their daughters about such a body issue – start with their brothers.

By: Brett

Brett — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:14:47 +0000

Very intuitive and informative piece. The significance of the father/daughter relationship was downplayed for a long time by adverts and media, but it’s making strides now. Even though family integrity is still somewhat weaker than it should be, there are valuable resources available for people that really want to make a difference in the lives of their kids. My caution: don’t take the polar opposite approach. Don’t take it to the other side of progressive. We tend to be people of extremes; much because of the rapid-fire dissemination of info and news. For myself, I treasure the time with my girls (6 and 7, one with mild autism). They know they are beautiful, interesting, funny, sweet and lovely. They will never know a day that their dad doesn’t think so.

By: Rubes

Rubes — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:24:56 +0000

Heather, girl, you’ve got issues….

By: Celeste

Celeste — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 05:27:51 +0000

I completely agree with this article and everything it states.As a child,my father was a guidence(Though rare his presence),my only guidence often enough for me to gain a healthy sense of self,and my own body.Keep it up,all comments are lovely,I understood them all.

By: Mari

Mari — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 20:30:58 +0000

I agree with this article, but there is a BIG part left out! Boys and girls watch how their parents treat members of the opposite sex as well. My Father constantly gave my Mom a hard time for her weight and was always pointing out women who he found attractive; of course, they were thin model types. I have many male friends and they do the same thing and now my Brother behaves the same way. My Mom has low self esteem and together they created three children, 2 daughters with very low self esteem and a son who treats women, especially his wife, very poorly.