Comments on: 9 Steps to Better Communication Today

By: Howmentalk

Howmentalk — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:50:29 +0000

Great Advice! I think that the whole thing comes down to letting go of your ego.

By: tami

tami — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 03:08:44 +0000

what do i do when the person i am trying to communicate with wants to talk ALL NIGHT regardless of who is tired??? refuses to give the problem a rest? will talk ALL NIGHT????

PLEASE HELP

By: Riana

Riana — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:23:14 +0000

Please help me:

My daughter aged 12 stopped talking to me and my husband and is making screeming sounds when she sees us, she is clinging to us and not able to function normal at all around us. She acts normal with all people except with us. We thought that she was acting, but we realised that she does not have control over it. She is fully aware of what is happening while she is with us – she just cant control it and become limp. She even laughs at jokes I make. But she is now so bad that I have to dress and feed her in the morning when she is with me.

She started with a stuttering problem earlier this year after a camp, and then it got back to normal during June this year. During exam time in September she (according to the doctors) had a panick attack whereafter she suddenly stopped talking to us, which changed into a screeming/ crying tone everytime she sees us. She makes this sound the whole time in our presense and it only stops when we leave and she dont sees us anymore. She gets hysterical and clings to us when we leave. She would be perfectly normal and busy discussing something with a person – until she sees me or my husband – then it is as if it takes her over and she would start making the sounds and start clinging to us – you need to use force to break her grip from us. She wants to kiss and hold us the whole time when she sees us.

We had serious marriage problems (my husband had affairs, drinking etc. but he changed his life a year ago) and by now we know that our marriage problems is the main reason for her behaviour. She admitted to the pshyciatrist that she did this because she is scared that we get divorced, but that she tries her best to talk to us and that she misses talking to me and my husband – but just cant help it.

They’ve diagnosed her with Conversion disorder, said that there is some anxiety disorder and also seoperation disorder – but the question which still needs answering is why she is able to function normal with everybody else and only is like this with us? Is this then really a Disorder? We are currently busy with phileal therapy (spelling?) but she is just not able to talk to us, although she tries very hard.

Interesting is the fact that she has done very well at school, is a fine artist, plays keyboard and very goodlooking. She is a reserved child, but is able to communicate well at school and children loves her. She is our only child.

We’ve been to many many doctors, pshyciatrists, pshycologists and even take her now to people who pray for miracles – nothing helps.

Would you be able to confirm what the problem is and where we can go for help? We are staying in SA but we are prepared to do and take her anywhere in the world – if it can helps. We are currently going for marriage council also and things are happy at home – but she just cant function normal at home….

Please help….

Riana

By: Mic.blanket

Mic.blanket — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:28:54 +0000

Could please tell me that how can you respect a person who don’t respect you

By: andrew

andrew — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 18:36:27 +0000

thats all well and good and i agree totally with what is said.. but what do you do when you can comunicate perfectly well but your partner refuses or is unable to cominicate on any sort of level???

By: soroewn micheal

soroewn micheal — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:05:28 +0000

i think to me the points that are listed below surely matter much the way we use our language and how we approach to one another bse we are not all perfect but we try to adjust to one another as we communicate. but all in all God should forgive us where we go wrong amongst ourselves.

By: Carmen

Carmen — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 19:13:31 +0000

Great article and I’m sure all this advice would work, but only if both parties are willing to work on their relationship together. If only one person in the relationship is willing to work on getting their relationship on the right track then no matter how great and effective the advice is it will not work for that particular couple.

By: Mrs. J.C.

Mrs. J.C. — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:27:59 +0000

The advice here sounds great. But each has individual problems that provide obsticles to actually doing all of them in the right way. It would be great to have that same support in the marriage as is suggested here. WE have been to a ‘marriage encounter weekend’ and it was only helpful afterwards if both parties are willing to do what is needed to keep the relationship going, but when one wants to keep the ‘dialoge’s going and the other doesn’t it won’t be making the progress intended . These things were also discussed in that weekend in a matter of speaking. So much is needed in this area, for those of faith and those who need to have faith as well. It helps too if you are able to overcome the issues at hand and proceed forward, but each step is different for each couple. Some who have special health needs, or concerns can’t always apply all of these steps as would be desired and adjustments have to be made accordingly. With reference to ‘sitting’ close to each other, in the heat it’s hard to do so when the ‘hot flashes come, and the other can’t handle body heat’, it’s a lose lose situation at hand, when the desire is for a ‘win win’ result .

By: ct

ct — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 18:25:58 +0000

After months of counseling (basically what this article is saying) with my wife, I have employed many of these techniques (I really don’t want a second exwife). It’s not nearly as easy as it sounds and is still a major work in progress, try coming up with something humorous to say when you’re fuming inside and desparate to defend yourself from some percieved irrational statement/emotion. Worth the effort.

By: phyrum

phyrum — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 10:15:23 +0000

This is a wonderful idea for human communication.But I don’t understand one point forcre yourself to hear.This is because I am not a native.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:28:08 +0000

Wow, this was a great article.
I agree with Laura, I always fold my arms!
Also, I chose to listen to others with not so much eye contact, it lets me concentrate on listening better! People ask me if I’m feeling okay! funny
I find that this advice can be carried to nearly every relationship. I call it my freak radar. If people break these rules constantly, I don’t keep them as friends or (close) family.
And to the Anonymous teenager that posted, you are wise beyond your years, good luck. Just remember you are a mediator, not a fixer, otherwise YOU are impacted too much.

By: Dr. John Grohol: 4 Steps To Better Communication | My Pure Diet. Health News & Supplements.

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 02:17:39 +0000

[...] for more tips to improve your communication? Check out 5 more tips on improving your communication with your partner. Are you feeling connected with your partner? Take this quiz to see how connected are you right now [...]

By: 10 Reasons You Don’t Listen | Psych Central

10 Reasons You Don’t Listen | Psych Central — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 17:50:20 +0000

[...] Now that you know these reasons, what do you do about it? If you need further ideas for improving your communication skills with your partner, check out these 9 steps to better communication. [...]

By: You Wear the Suit: 8 Tips on Trading Places with Your Spouse | World of Psychology

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:00:24 +0000

[...] John Grohol outlines some great tips for better communication in his post, “9 Steps to Better Communication Today”: [...]

By: Laura

Laura — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 18:16:49 +0000

Great article–just make sure when you’re reading someone else’s body language you don’t read too much into it. I often fold my arms without thinking about it–not because I feel defensive but because I’m one of those people who is always cold, even with a sweater on in the summer! I also fold my arms when I’m alone, for the same reason.