Can rejection cause havoc in your life?

You bet it can, at least according to a new article appearing in Newsweek.

While I don’t think rejection is going to have any long-term effect on your intelligence or your immune system (despite the article’s claims), I could see how it might temporarily increase your aggression toward others and increase your social isolation (at least in the short term):

Twenge’s other research has found that rejected individuals also become less social, are more likely to interpret neutral words and behaviors as signs of rejection and score lower on intelligence tests—all from a simple 15-minute activity. And this pain was felt whether the rejection came from someone we want to like us, or someone we couldn’t care less about. “There really aren’t any limits,” says Twenge. “Of course it hurts more when someone we care about rejects us, but it even hurts when people that we hate reject us.”

Instead of reaching out to others after being rejected, we seem to socially isolate ourselves. Why? To ward off a future rejection.

Nowhere is this more clear than when that rejection is of a romantic nature. We swear off romantic involvements for weeks, months, and in some cases, even years. Had a bad first date? You might stay away from dating for a month to get rid of the bad taste of that rejection.

There’s no simple way to “get over” rejection, just as there’s no easy way to move on from life’s difficulties. One finding from the research was that by writing (or perhaps just even talking) to a loved one or someone close to you after being rejected can help you vent and feel less aggressive. Sounds like a simple and common sense step that most people already do on their own. But always glad to see research back up such conventional wisdom.

Read the full article: The Serious Side Effects of Small Rejections

Dr. John Grohol is the CEO and founder of Psych Central. He is an author, researcher and expert in mental health online, and has been writing about online behavior, mental health and psychology issues -- as well as the intersection of technology and human behavior -- since 1992. Dr. Grohol sits on the editorial board of the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking and is a founding board member and treasurer of the Society for Participatory Medicine.

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    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 Feb 2009
    Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.