Comments on: 8 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

By: Khiyo

Khiyo — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:12:34 +0000

I have a partner thou not married. And yes, if you could only apply these tips on your marriage it will be a huge success

Love one another…

By: How to Avoid Infidelity in a Relationship « One Minute Blog

How to Avoid Infidelity in a Relationship « One Minute Blog — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:10:40 +0000

[...] This is also applies in your marriage. [...]

By: Gina E.

Gina E. — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 02:21:37 +0000

I believe similarly, but you also must include the romantic and sexual needs of both males and females. I delve into this deeper on my website:
http://perfectlovehere.blogspot.com/2010/02/affair-proof-your-marriage.html

By: chat odalari

chat odalari — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 08:42:32 +0000

thank you

By: Carl

Carl — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 23:42:28 +0000

Great list – but to me it’s a list of denial tactics.

If you’re strongly enough committed to a goal, whether it’s a successful relationship of any kind or even to a happy relationship with yourself you’ll automatically know when something is inappropriate and adjust accordingly.

I was in a 13 year marriage once and never once considered being unfaithful (although two of my wife’s sisters tried it on with me). My wife wanted me to carry on living with her but have affairs when she lost interest in me and I refused (I think she was interested in seeing other men and just didn’t want to say so).

I’ve been celibate for 15 years since and I have never had casual sex in that time – I stick to this approach for two reasons: reason one is I don’t want to catch an STD; reason two is I don’t believe in having sex with someone I wouldn’t be willing to raise a child with.

I think if you think in terms of taking long-term responsibility for the social outcomes of your sexual behaviour rather than the sexual behaviour itself it decides your behaviour for you.

But that wouldn’t be fun, now would it?

By: Don DeLong

Don DeLong — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 17:16:13 +0000

The men I have known who have had affairs, have had them, generally, for one of two reasons: Either for the excitment or for making up what was missing in their marriages. Having someone at work who seems to care for you, listens to your woes and finds it hard to understand how someone could neglect you, looks better and better everyday. And even better in bed.

By: Mary Jane Hurley Brant

Mary Jane Hurley Brant — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 22:10:04 +0000

Great tips, Theresa, liked them all. Here’s one more, tell your mate thank you for something at least once a day. Thank you for washing my car, thank you for making such a nice dinner (or picking up the dinner). Thanks for helping the kids with their homework; I was so tired. Thanks for standing by me when I lost my job. Thanks for laughing at my jokes.

By: Patricia Carey

Patricia Carey — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:46:27 +0000

Really,really liked your article,it makes so much sense,very often people make things so complicated, 4,5,6&7 are my favourites.I meet so many people who never get the time to consider each others feelings because they simply do not listen to each other.Myself included,bringing up children can take a big toll on marriages so good advice all round thank you.

By: Steffan Antonas

Steffan Antonas — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:04:21 +0000

#1, #4 and #6 DEFINITELY spot on. I’d also add a #9…do new things/have new experiences together often.

By: Tamra

Tamra — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:04:25 +0000

Hi everyone:

I actually like #4 and #6 as well. Those are good tips. There are a lot of relationships that are weak simply because of an inability to respectfully disagree. At other times, a marriage can fail because there are no “creative outlets” and the energy and passion is either gone or was never truly there.

However, I also would add (if I may) that there are simply just some marriages that were either rushed into, not pursued for the right reasons, or love really wasn’t to blossom for some reason. No matter what one does, that particular marriage may not advance. By no means am saying not to try the above, but I’m just adding more to the substance of this good article!
While I have seen many marriages fail because of an inability to utilize the above tips, I have also seen them fail because they weren’t meant to be after all.

Affairs are horrible, they hurt everyone involved. But it probably is still wise to keep in mind that not every relationship is meant to be, even when you do utilize the above. Divorce is so much better than an affair; I would recommend doing that instead if need me.

If you are tempted to have an affair, something is wrong and counseling or introspection might be the answer.

By: Paolo

Paolo — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 22:11:45 +0000

This is a great list! Now with an affair proof marriage, people can find out what marriage is really about!

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/WhatMarriageIsReallyAllAbout

By: Elvira G. Aletta, Ph.D.

Elvira G. Aletta, Ph.D. — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 20:30:02 +0000

Airbrushing and makeup are a girl’s best friends!

By: Therese J. Borchard

Therese J. Borchard — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 17:13:12 +0000

I love your column as well. You don’t look old enough to be married 25 years! Very impressive. Thanks, t

By: Elvira G. Aletta, Ph.D.

Elvira G. Aletta, Ph.D. — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 11:42:30 +0000

Therese, These are all so good. My personal favorite is #6. According to The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples’ Education, the top reason for divorce is ‘the habitual avoidance of conflict.’ In my work with couples and in my own marriage, learning how to fight a good fight and not run away (and in to someone else’s arms) is crucial.

http://draletta.typepad.com/explorewhatsnext/2008/11/my-marriage-my-romance.html