That is a horrible thing to do. I myself believe that in more cases than not ‘abuse’ is a symptom of ‘neglect. But therapists don’t know ‘shit’ about neglect because it’s not about what someone did to you, but the absence of something.

A good patient, and even if he/she is honest, often is so dependent on the therapist that they go along with the therapists suggestiveness and to please him/her, and also because they are anxious because of a lack of ‘progress’ will actually make up ‘abuse stuff’ in order to please the therapist, and to avoid rejection. In this case, as a result things become ‘well’ again for some time, and until this happens again. it ends up that the whole therapy becomes a lie, and I do blame the therapist for this, and not the patient, even if he/she has good intentions and doesn’t know any better.

I find that the toughest struggle often with therapy lies in the relationship between the therapist and the client himself, and that this issue is always, or almost always , in the foreground, especially if the therapist doesn’t reveal himself and thereby creates more anxiety.

A patient who is dealing with issues of neglect doesn’t usually tolerate a wonderful therapist who at first sort of acts like the ‘good parent’, and he/she listens, and understands everything, and validated the patient’s experience, and is just generally way too nice and empathic for this patient’s own good.

The deal is that the patient wants this understanding, validation and empathy more than anything on the one hand, but on the other hand he/she cannot tolerate it.

This eventually leads not only to extreme dependence but to destructive and ‘self-destructive’ acting out.

I once heard this therapist say that she has done everything for this patient, and had been so nice and so attentive and so very caring and helpful, and what did she get? An abusive patient.

Well yes, mam, it’s too bad you didn’t learn anything by becoming a PhD except to take good notes and be politically correct.

I think I was the only student in my class who never, ever took notes because it’s hard to listen, think and process when you just try to get all your notes down.

Anyway, I just meant to touch upon a couple of things.

In this case I described above, the therapy almost always ends up with the therapist going over her limits, and not being honest with himself, or herself. At last she explodes and really blames the patient and practically, if not literally, she freaks out and fired him/her.

Samuel LOpez De Victoria, Ph.D.
http://www.DrSam.tv