Comments on: Facebook Scams of Narcissists http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/ Dr. John Grohol's daily update on all things in psychology and mental health. Since 1999. Sat, 26 May 2012 02:27:01 +0000 hourly 1 By: Seascape http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-2/#comment-717088 Seascape Thu, 01 Sep 2011 03:41:34 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-717088 Bravo ! You hit the nail on the head. The Facebook "walls" are all about "showing off." It's all about being a "busybody." I want nothing to do with Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg is the epitome' of a "narcissist." He used people to get what he wanted, then discarded them as trash. He's shallow as he!!. He pegged all people who sign up for Facebook and "give him" all their information/pictures as "Stupid F*cks." Those were his exact words. Look it up, it's the truth. Why???!!! I've always wondered would anyone support this guy. Bravo ! You hit the nail on the head. The Facebook “walls” are all about “showing off.” It’s all about being a “busybody.” I want nothing to do with Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg is the epitome’ of a “narcissist.” He used people to get what he wanted, then discarded them as trash. He’s shallow as he!!. He pegged all people who sign up for Facebook and “give him” all their information/pictures as “Stupid F*cks.” Those were his exact words. Look it up, it’s the truth. Why???!!! I’ve always wondered would anyone support this guy.

]]> By: Friday Flashback for September 25, 2009 | World of Psychology http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-2/#comment-633624 Friday Flashback for September 25, 2009 | World of Psychology Fri, 25 Sep 2009 09:46:34 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-633624 [...] Facebook Scams of Narcissists [...] [...] Facebook Scams of Narcissists [...]

]]> By: Samuel Lopez De Victoria http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-2/#comment-628552 Samuel Lopez De Victoria Tue, 16 Jun 2009 04:17:44 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-628552 <b>Caroline said, "Does this make us narcissists." Not at all, Caroline. Social networking is a human need. Some try to meet that need as a narcissist and others just simply want to connect with others because they care. :) Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. http://www.DrSam.tv </b> Caroline said, “Does this make us narcissists.”

Not at all, Caroline. Social networking is a human need. Some try to meet that need as a narcissist and others just simply want to connect with others because they care. :)

Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D.
http://www.DrSam.tv

]]> By: Samuel Lopez De Victoria http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-2/#comment-628544 Samuel Lopez De Victoria Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:41:59 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-628544 <b> Caroline, I agree with you for the most part. Still, whether you call it "self-absorbed," "Ego-centrism," or other it is still narcissism. Hopefully for an adolescent they grow out of it with the help of patient and non-extreme-narcissistic parents. I personally believe that extreme narcissism in anyone from adolescent to adult is unhealthy. I am saying, "Extreme" as not just some narcissism but approaching "completely narcissisistic." Extremely narcissistic children who do not get challenged, trained, and illumined then become the adult controllers, manipulators, and egotists that most of us ultimately end up disliking. Thanks for your valuable input. Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. http://www.DrSam.tv </b>
Caroline,

I agree with you for the most part. Still, whether you call it “self-absorbed,” “Ego-centrism,” or other it is still narcissism. Hopefully for an adolescent they grow out of it with the help of patient and non-extreme-narcissistic parents. I personally believe that extreme narcissism in anyone from adolescent to adult is unhealthy. I am saying, “Extreme” as not just some narcissism but approaching “completely narcissisistic.” Extremely narcissistic children who do not get challenged, trained, and illumined then become the adult controllers, manipulators, and egotists that most of us ultimately end up disliking.

Thanks for your valuable input.

Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D.
http://www.DrSam.tv

]]> By: Caroline http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-628543 Caroline Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:36:14 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-628543 One other thought. Some of us - due to the economy, etc. have had to MOVE multiple times, and by the time we're at mid-life, we find that we're far away and many times removed from all that we once held dear. We get to a point where we want to return to our roots, and social networking sites can put us back in touch with people we haven't seen years. Does this make us narcissists. One other thought. Some of us – due to the economy, etc. have had to MOVE multiple times, and by the time we’re at mid-life, we find that we’re far away and many times removed from all that we once held dear. We get to a point where we want to return to our roots, and social networking sites can put us back in touch with people we haven’t seen years. Does this make us narcissists.

]]> By: Caroline http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-628540 Caroline Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:30:33 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-628540 Unless this article stipulates the AGE of the person on Facebook, I'm not sure where we're going. Young people are inherently more self-absorbed, and they are still learning who they are - hence the picture-taking aplenty, vanity, etc. When seasoned adults post the same type of photos and display the same types of behavior, the behavior is actually DIFFERENT because we have to view appropriateness from the context of our years. Unless this article stipulates the AGE of the person on Facebook, I’m not sure where we’re going. Young people are inherently more self-absorbed, and they are still learning who they are – hence the picture-taking aplenty, vanity, etc. When seasoned adults post the same type of photos and display the same types of behavior, the behavior is actually DIFFERENT because we have to view appropriateness from the context of our years.

]]> By: Tom http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-626283 Tom Fri, 24 Apr 2009 00:22:46 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-626283 I believe that this article is very accurate. I believe that this article is very accurate.

]]> By: From The ‘Is This Satire?’ Files | Facebook Leads To Divorce, Excruciatingly Rubbish Articles In The Guardian | Defamer Australia http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-624583 From The ‘Is This Satire?’ Files | Facebook Leads To Divorce, Excruciatingly Rubbish Articles In The Guardian | Defamer Australia Sun, 22 Mar 2009 22:32:04 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-624583 [...] these people real? I think I hate them! Or, if this is all a very clever way of poking fun at the Facebook generation of narcissists, I love them! But I think I hate them! This is all so [...] [...] these people real? I think I hate them! Or, if this is all a very clever way of poking fun at the Facebook generation of narcissists, I love them! But I think I hate them! This is all so [...]

]]> By: Kuro- http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-578624 Kuro- Sun, 05 Oct 2008 09:36:23 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-578624 <blockquote cite="Narcissists can give the illusion of closeness, having empathy, and warmth yet they also are relational opportunists. They use their relationships to enhance themselves. In other words, they can be “show-offs.” Narcissists are also known to be controllers, manipulators, aggressive, unfaithful, and given to playing mind-games. The study reveals that social network websites can serve as a place to be shallow and not committed. Friendships can be superficial. These types of websites provide a forum where the narcissist can exercise high control of how he/she is perceived giving an edited image. Narcissists love to look at themselves, talk about themselves… any way they can be the center of the universe. One observation was that narcissists tend to post many pictures of themselves with others and at parties. Other characteristics which raters evaluated were the amount of clothing worn versus modesty and physical presentation. They also considered if they were portrayed as fun, provocative, self-promoting, sexy, and self-centered. Narcissists tended to present themselves as important through the expression of their opinions. Their ability to persuade others enhanced their perceived image. "> Well - I don't use Facebook or Friendster, I ignore mine, but what the heck? I'm like that in real life enough.</blockquote>

Narcissists are also known to be controllers, manipulators, aggressive, unfaithful, and given to playing mind-games.

The study reveals that social network websites can serve as a place to be shallow and not committed. Friendships can be superficial. These types of websites provide a forum where the narcissist can exercise high control of how he/she is perceived giving an edited image. Narcissists love to look at themselves, talk about themselves… any way they can be the center of the universe. One observation was that narcissists tend to post many pictures of themselves with others and at parties. Other characteristics which raters evaluated were the amount of clothing worn versus modesty and physical presentation. They also considered if they were portrayed as fun, provocative, self-promoting, sexy, and self-centered. Narcissists tended to present themselves as important through the expression of their opinions. Their ability to persuade others enhanced their perceived image. ">

Well – I don’t use Facebook or Friendster, I ignore mine, but what the heck? I’m like that in real life enough.

]]> By: herojuana http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-577921 herojuana Thu, 02 Oct 2008 08:14:26 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-577921 Agree absolutely. Spend a couple of months on Facebook and you'll be sickened by people you once thought were "friends". It's a good "friend filter", I guess. Agree absolutely.

Spend a couple of months on Facebook and you’ll be sickened by people you once thought were “friends”.

It’s a good “friend filter”, I guess.

]]> By: Laurie Siegel http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-577783 Laurie Siegel Wed, 01 Oct 2008 23:39:11 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-577783 I am not a supporter of online networking,especially Facebook, where it is virtually impossible to locate friends from your past if you do not have an email address. Many members are narcissists. There are also members with other personality disorders that should be included in the article. I date a 45 year old man, occasionally, who meets all the criteria for Schizotypal Personality Disorder. He is extremely awkward in social situations, has had a series of failed relationships, and is incapable of emotional intimacy. He is a loner and spends much time isolating in his bedroom. But he clearly likes to be with women and can be a ggod lover. I believe that Facebook is a safe place for him to connect with women. He would never give flowers or a gift in person and here he can give multiple gifts of hugs, flirts, etc, He also likes to upload pictures of himself. He lacks close friends, has paranoid ideations and lacks facial expression. I can never tell if he is happy or sad. With all that said, I know he enjoys my company, even if it's only 2 or 3 times a month for brief periods. I adore him, so it breaks my heart that he would rather spend hours with facebook than me. I also know of a young woman with Histrionic Personality and relies on sexually provocative behavior and pictures in order to attract men. You wold never know from her profile what a self-centered, shallow woman she is. I think facebook is great for college kids. My final opinion: Aboutface Facebook. I am not a supporter of online networking,especially Facebook, where it is virtually impossible to locate friends from your past if you do not have an email address. Many members are narcissists. There are also members with other personality disorders that should be included in the article. I date a 45 year old man, occasionally, who meets all the criteria for Schizotypal Personality Disorder. He is extremely awkward
in social situations, has had a series of failed relationships, and is incapable of emotional intimacy. He is a loner and spends much time isolating in his bedroom. But he clearly likes to be with women and can be a ggod lover. I believe that Facebook is a safe place for him
to connect with women. He would never give flowers or a gift in person and here he can give multiple gifts of hugs, flirts, etc, He also likes to upload pictures of himself. He lacks close friends, has
paranoid ideations and lacks facial expression. I can never tell if he is happy or sad. With all that said, I know he enjoys my company, even if it’s only 2 or 3 times a month for brief periods. I adore him, so it breaks my heart that he would rather spend hours with facebook than me.
I also know of a young woman with Histrionic Personality and
relies on sexually provocative behavior and pictures in order to
attract men. You wold never know from her profile what a self-centered, shallow woman she is. I think facebook is great for
college kids. My final opinion: Aboutface Facebook.

]]> By: Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-577703 Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. Wed, 01 Oct 2008 03:57:15 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-577703 <b>Jaya, In my own opinion, I think the principles found in this study simply reflect how narcissistic our society has become. It is the fruit of "Me Generation" parents. It would be no surprise to see any social network website, forum, or even blog a place that feeds narcissists looking for opportunities. I already know of some blogs that give me almost a sick feeling like that of being in the presence of a totally selfish person where you mean nothing to them and it is all about their own small little world of the ego. Good thoughts on your part. Thank you! Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. http://www.DrSam.tv</b> Jaya,

In my own opinion, I think the principles found in this study simply reflect how narcissistic our society has become. It is the fruit of “Me Generation” parents. It would be no surprise to see any social network website, forum, or even blog a place that feeds narcissists looking for opportunities. I already know of some blogs that give me almost a sick feeling like that of being in the presence of a totally selfish person where you mean nothing to them and it is all about their own small little world of the ego.

Good thoughts on your part. Thank you!

Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D.
http://www.DrSam.tv

]]> By: Jaya http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-577669 Jaya Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:18:54 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-577669 FaceBook is an interesting phenomenon -- you can be anyone you want with all the characteristics of what society defines as a "popular" person. I do find it concerning in a number of ways including the presence of provocative pictures, large numbers of "friends" (in excess of 350 sometimes -- honestly, what kind of real relationship could you have with all these people?), detailed information with little security to shut out those who do not need (or should not have) access to it, the lack of boundaries as evidenced by low security settings (mine are so high, you won't find me unless I have met you personally). It seems to me it's a microcosm of a high school environment at times with additional applications that can be used to talk about what books you've read, where you've traveled and who of your friends are actually your "best" friends. Many people do send the implied message of "look at me and how liked I am". As I continued to ponder your article, one of the points jumped out at me. You summarized a research finding stating, "Narcissists tended to present themselves as important through the expression of their opinions." Might this research hold true for some of the types of of posts that are placed on this website? Might this hold true also for some bloggers? FaceBook is an interesting phenomenon — you can be anyone you want with all the characteristics of what society defines as a “popular” person. I do find it concerning in a number of ways including the presence of provocative pictures, large numbers of “friends” (in excess of 350 sometimes — honestly, what kind of real relationship could you have with all these people?), detailed information with little security to shut out those who do not need (or should not have) access to it, the lack of boundaries as evidenced by low security settings (mine are so high, you won’t find me unless I have met you personally). It seems to me it’s a microcosm of a high school environment at times with additional applications that can be used to talk about what books you’ve read, where you’ve traveled and who of your friends are actually your “best” friends. Many people do send the implied message of “look at me and how liked I am”. As I continued to ponder your article, one of the points jumped out at me. You summarized a research finding stating, “Narcissists tended to present themselves as important through the expression of their opinions.” Might this research hold true for some of the types of of posts that are placed on this website? Might this hold true also for some bloggers?

]]> By: Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-577663 Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:59:40 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-577663 <b>Jaya, Thank you for your congratulations. I would agree with everything you said in terms of how these social networking sites can help overcome traditional obstacles such as distance, time zones, losing contact, etc. I find them quite helpful and have found many of my good friends of my youth, college, and professionally. As you say, it is easier to keep in touch with these and family, especially when planning reunions and consulting on family events. As for me, I look forward to the many exciting communication tools that are becoming available to us (Blackberry, IPhone, Instinct, Skype, Twitter, IM, etc.). While these are wonderful tools to connect us there is also a dark side to this. Egocentric opportunists and evil persons can also use it to create much hurt and pain in our world. Best regards, Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. http://www.DrSam.tv</b> Jaya,

Thank you for your congratulations.

I would agree with everything you said in terms of how these social networking sites can help overcome traditional obstacles such as distance, time zones, losing contact, etc. I find them quite helpful and have found many of my good friends of my youth, college, and professionally. As you say, it is easier to keep in touch with these and family, especially when planning reunions and consulting on family events.

As for me, I look forward to the many exciting communication tools that are becoming available to us (Blackberry, IPhone, Instinct, Skype, Twitter, IM, etc.).

While these are wonderful tools to connect us there is also a dark side to this. Egocentric opportunists and evil persons can also use it to create much hurt and pain in our world.

Best regards,

Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D.
http://www.DrSam.tv

]]> By: Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/comment-page-1/#comment-577662 Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:52:35 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/09/28/facebook-scams-of-narcissists/#comment-577662 <b>Anissa, You said, "to say that any of these people are narcissistic, is ridiculous." I would like to point out that my article was about a study done based on administering a psychological test and also compared to actual raters. It is an early study. More needs to be done. The point is that not all users of social network websites are narcissists. I would agree with you and I say that in the article. The interesting thing about the study is that there is a confirmed (by testing and rating and combining results) presence of narcissists and that they have observable traits that are consistent. I agree that all of us have or should have a small amount of narcissism in the form of caring about your own person on some basic level. When it becomes the only thing then it becomes, in my opinion, extreme narcissism. I believe this kind of narcissism is what the researchers in the study were focused on. I hope this has clarified the issues. Best regards, Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D. http://www.DrSam.tv </b> Anissa,

You said, “to say that any of these people are narcissistic, is ridiculous.”

I would like to point out that my article was about a study done based on administering a psychological test and also compared to actual raters. It is an early study. More needs to be done. The point is that not all users of social network websites are narcissists. I would agree with you and I say that in the article. The interesting thing about the study is that there is a confirmed (by testing and rating and combining results) presence of narcissists and that they have observable traits that are consistent.

I agree that all of us have or should have a small amount of narcissism in the form of caring about your own person on some basic level. When it becomes the only thing then it becomes, in my opinion, extreme narcissism. I believe this kind of narcissism is what the researchers in the study were focused on.

I hope this has clarified the issues.

Best regards,

Samuel Lopez De Victoria, Ph.D.
http://www.DrSam.tv

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