Going back to school means facing many challenges both academically and oftentimes socially. Unfortunately, for many kids, a big part of these social challenges is bullying. In fact, according to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP):
“Surveys indicate that as many as half of all children are bullied at some time during their school years, and at least 10% are bullied on a regular basis.”
Bullying can have devastating consequences, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and thoughts of suicide.
Potential Signs
Here are some warning signs that your child might be a victim of bullying:
- Withdraws socially
- Feels isolated and sad
- Exhibits mood swings
- Threatens violence
- Doesn’t want to go to school
- Unexplained bruising
- A drop in grades; learning problems
- Changes in social life
How to Help Your Child
The AACAP recommends:
• Ask your child what he/she has already done and whether that’s worked.
• Tell your child to walk away from a bully and seek help from the school’s staff.
• Teach your child to be assertive.
• Encourage your child to be with friends, because it’s less likely he/she will be picked on in a group.
• If you notice that your child is having trouble academically or has withdrawn, seek a mental health professional early on.
How to Approach School Staff
The U. S. Department of Health and Human Services suggests:
• Record details about bullying incidents along with meetings with school personnel. Ask your school to also keep records of any incidents against your child.
• Talk with your child’s teacher about the following: what the teacher has observed; what he/she will do to investigate the bullying and stop it; ask if your child seems isolated.
• Always follow-up with school staff and see the principal if there’s no improvement. If that doesn’t work, keep going up the hierarchy to the superintendent.
• Put complaints in writing.
• Be persistent.
Cyberbullying
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defines cyberbullying, or electronic aggression, as:
“any kind of aggression perpetrated through technology—any type of harassment or bullying (teasing, telling lies, making fun of someone, making rude or mean comments, spreading rumors, or making threatening or aggressive comments) that occurs through email, a chat room, instant messaging, a website (including blogs), or text messaging.”
Though traditional forms of bullying are still more common, cyberbullying is becoming an increasing concern. In fact, researchers have found that, like traditional bullying, cyberbullying is linked to depression, decreased grades, peer violence and suicide. But, unlike classic bullying, cyberbullying can seem more intense, because it occurs at home, it’s far reaching, often anonymous and might be harsher. An article in the New Scientist provides more detail into this phenomenon and its devastating effects.
Additional Resources
Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
Resources on Cyberbullying
Dealing with Bullying
Tip Sheet for Kids
Parenting Tips on Bullying
Parenting Tips: Do’s and Don’ts (p. 8-9)
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Links to This Article
From Psych Central's World of Psychology:
Internet Fears for Children Overblown - World of Psychology (1/14/2009)
From Psych Central's website:
Social Networking Websites: What’s the Point? | Psych Central (8/21/2009)
4 Comments to
“Dealing with Bullies”
Great post, and so timely! Thanks for reminding us that some aspects of going back to school can be difficult or even dangerous for kids. I’ve linked to this post from my blog, http://www.katiemalinski.com/blog
I’ve found this site to be most helpful on the issue of bullying: http://www.bullies2buddies.com
(Disclaimer: I’ve no relationship with the site or anyone associated with it)
A great resource from Education.com was just released on bullying. There are recent articles from prominent PHDs in the field and the special feature on bullying was created with the help of the American Association of School Administrators. Hopefully this turns out to be a helpful and up to date resource for parents and teachers.
(I know about this new release because I am with Education.com)
Just got a book published “Trust Me” which involves
school bullies. Very positive ending
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Aug 2008
