Comments on: Non-Drug Alternatives for ADHD Proven Effective

By: T-man

T-man — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 18:22:57 +0000

AAAAAA-MEN!!!, I totally agree with Ms. Aly’s post on here. I’ve gotten pretty tired of the over bearing criticisms of parents in a “WHOLE”. So until I hear otherwise I’ll try and believe that the author of the article above is referring to those parents who just do a completely poor job of managing their children.

I have tried all the suggestions that were mentioned above with my 8yr old boy who has some serious behavior problems primarily at school. When he’s at home aside from typical “CHILD” like behavior (e.g. leaving toys out every once in a while and crawling up the stairs sometimes.)There is very little behavior issues.

Again I say I’ve tried and still use consistently the very same methods mentioned in the above article and he is still having problems in school. Mind you he and I live with my mother who has given a lot of emotional support for the past 7yrs., plus we have seen several well revered psychologist for the past 3yrs. and implemented their suggestions as well, with temporary results.

From what I researched it seems any study done,the results are “sometimes” fudged in favor for a particular groups benefit somewhere down the line. For instance that whole FDA issue with Vioxx a few years back. The drug was taken off the market after a whistle blower employee of the FDA did a study and found that the drug was too hazardous to be on the market, even after it was approved by the very same FDA organization he worked for. So it begs the question of “How do we as american citizens know we can trust ANY study done if there is some major company $$profiting$$ by screwing with the actual facts(e.g. normally called “Raw Data”) in their favor?”
Just thought I’d put that FACT in there in support of not medicating children before seeking all possible alternatives.

One last thing about my son is that he is very bright,not just saying that cause he’s MY son either. I have been constantly told this by the very same teachers he hits and cusses at as well as from complete strangers from all walks. My son started reading at age 2 and by the time he was in school he was at a 3rd grade reading level. Counselors have commented on how articulate he is when he speaks. Although as with most kids like him sometimes they may not truly understand the words they may use completely.

Even though psychs. may say he may have ADHD, I don’t agree. I may not be able to speak for all the parents with children who have behavior issues, but I know my child better than anyone and I believe his behavior, as it has been stated in other medical articles, that it may be a result of some traumatic experience. In my sons case, I believe it is seriously related to not having any further contact with his abandoning mother. Nuff said.

By: ADHDad and 2 Sons

ADHDad and 2 Sons — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:10:27 +0000

Im 43 years old and was never diagnosed with ADHD. They just didnt do that back then. I was speech delayed but other than that, extremely intelligent. I never understood why my handwriting was so bad, or why my spelling was poor until I had children. My 17 Year Old had a host of problems, but my we caught it before he started school and worked on it without drugs. New wife, new child and I cant figure it out. fast foward to ADHD. The difference between him and his brother? My 17 Year old is an angel who struggles in school. He’s has no other issues. My 11 year old is the exact opposite. If he payed attention in school he’s be an A-B student instead of a B-C. If he focused he’d be the captain of his football team instead of the best running back in the town ( WHEN HE DECIDES TO PLAY). I was never diagnosed with ADHD, I struggle today to reach my full potential. I’m good at what I do, but the turmoil inside kills me. I just want my sons, to be the best they can be. I just want my 11 year old to not be so bad all the time. I just want it to stop. I just want him to be better.

By: inJanuary

inJanuary — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 04:37:09 +0000

Did I write this? … Sure as heck looks like I wrote this.

“I like to joke about being a parent with ADHD in my blog. A lot of what has been commented here really hits home. I battle myself daily- whether or not to stop breastfeeding and start taking my medication. On one hand, I can function without it, but at what cost? I think I am doing an ok job as a parent, and I am very proud of being able to provide for my infant. On the other hand, I am exhausted, working full time, a two-parent home where we work separate shifts, a 6 month old baby and a 4 year old who will most likely be diagnosed with ADHD as well. Add to this a husband who has been diagnosed ADHD and refuses medication in his life, and doesn’t think anyone else should use medication either. He feels it is mind over matter.

I know what rules to make in my home, but then I get completely overwhelmed…should I make a chart? should I make a list? should I make a poster for the wall? should we reward with stickers? should we reward with food? does that send the wrong message? what if I as the parent can’t follow through? I can’t sit down and make a decision about this when I have to clean the kitchen, plan a birthday party, plan a vacation, pay a bill, clean the car…etc…

I read once that ADHD is not truly a lack of attention, it is a lack of motivation. For me, I can’t clear out the information overload in my brain long enough to make a decision. Then, when I do make a decision? Anxiety eats me alive that I made the wrong one.

And I’m the parent.”

When in grade school my 3/4th grade teacher had problems with me. I ended up being in this little group of 4 kids (all of which were my bff’s… the 4 of us) and we would get to leave the class and do things like origami, draw, color etc. I never understood this. We had a star point system in this group. I loved my stars. I didn’t understand at the time, what was happening.

In grade 3 I got into a lot of trouble. I didn’t really know why. I knew that the teachers were rude and pushy (and they were) and I didn’t take well to that. I used to talk and play thru quiet reading time. I actually had to teach myself how to keep my mouth closed and repeat every sentence in my head so that I could focus.

Grade 7, the teachers were testing me. I had no idea what the test was but I loved drawing the pictures. The test was always after recess and it was cold… my hands were freezing. So, my drawings were a bit shaky and such. My parents found out about the test and freaked out. They told the school no more tests. Mother said it was a ‘retard test’. The teacher told my parents that I was failing. Course i was… my hands were freezing. But still- I know now that I WAS failing the test.

I was never diagnosed with ADHD.
I never fully believed in ADHD. I still don’t, really. I believe everyone’s minds work differently. Sometimes, I wish mine would just calm down.

So— my 4 year old is in school. She wasn’t so bad until school. She is horrible. HORRIBLE. They teachers can’t control her, she makes odd sounds, flaps her ‘wings’, talks in a quiet gym during assembly, other kids don’t seem to like her much, she is so easily distracted.

So- I am reading about ADHD. I feel sick.

1. I HAVE ADHD with out question. Always fidgeting (if I’m not moving I feel wrong), I have bad habits of biting my nails (comes and goes- I fight it off), scratching my head (I hide it well when people are around) and chewing on the inside of my lip really bad and excessively. I usually talk a lot (or not at all), I demand attention (but at my age I know how to get it without being obvious), if something flashes in the corner of my eye I almost always have to look even if in a conversation with someone… I could go on forever.

And my daughter, she is also VERY ADHD.

I don’t want this.

I can’t handle this.

I don’t have time or energy for this.

Make it all just go away.

By: aspiemom

aspiemom — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 04:37:16 +0000

Yes, but be careful. Do it slowly. I learned this the hard way. Not only is it socially incredibly hard for kids to be on this diet (and my daughter has Aspergers so she already faces social challenges), but it is dangerous to some kids. Casein specifically has a compound identical to MORPHINE (casomorphins) and withdrawing too quickly can actually cause a heroin-like withdrawal. My daughter was fine getting off gluten (even though her babysitter cheated and would give her spaghettios and tell her they were gluten free… ugh, I had to stop using babysitters at all because I didn’t trust anyone anymore with the diet, which SUCKED because I work evenings sometimes)… but dairy, whew, that was another story. I had to ease her into it after the first week of trying cold turkey. During that week, ALL she could talk about was dairy. A passing Mr. Softee truck would send her into a rage or tears. The smell of pizza would cause a meltdown. She had such massive, public meltdowns people would clear the room and stare anxiously at us. She bit and hit me (never did before that, thank God). She did dangerous things like trying to run into the street or train tracks, became delusional and thought I was trying to hurt her or hated her, and even expressed suicidal thoughts. That was it. What use would it be for me to help her with her eczema and behavior issues if she ends up hurting herself or being severely depressed? So every now and then for now I am giving her a little dairy. It’s very hard and requires a lot of YOU, too. Forget about going out to eat anymore if you don’t research the restaurants out the whazoo. You will have to get new cutting boards, clean the cupboards out, watch for contamination, and deal with people thinking you’re nuts or obsessive when actually the diet requires that level of care. Go carefully into this diet. It can work wonders (hasn’t for us yet, but so I’ve heard) but the withdrawal can be horrendous.

By: aspiemom

aspiemom — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 04:28:52 +0000

Orthopedic, especially cranio sacral is good too. My DD was going to one for awhile, and it seemed to be helping a little, but I couldn’t afford more than a few treatments… even went through a lot to see if I could get our Medicaid to pay for it. It costs enough to pay for her gluten/casein free organic diet, acupuncture (luckily we have a clinic in town and it’s $20 a visit, yay), etc.

Acupuncture is the one thing that’s really helped her the most. She has severe eczema as well and it helps a lot with that. Also, after a treatment she says, “Wow, I feel sleepy and it feels GOOD!” (most of the time she is NEVER sleepy… last time she had a nap was when she was 3 years old… she’s eight now! She doesn’t even sleep in the car! )

By: aspiemom

aspiemom — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 04:23:22 +0000

No @#$@#!!!

I have tried EVERYTHING… gluten/casein/artificial color-and-flavor/mostly soy free diet (try dealing with the detox reactions on that… wow), herbs (holy basil, lemon balm, melissa), fish oil specifically formulated for ADHD kids, sea vegetables and all kinds of fresh smoothies, natural vitamins, homeopathy, acupuncture, whispering and singing so I don’t have to shout to be heard, plus the usual IEP stuff at school including OT… I’m done. I’m getting on the drugs. And I’ve never even had her on antibiotics in all her eight years. I’ve done everything completely naturally, we eat mostly organic etc. It’s a real sadness for me to throw in the towel but this has gone on for eight years now, since she was an infant and I am realizing now that whatever the bad effects of the drugs may end up being, or however toxic they may be, nothing could be worse than the emotional toxicity of our interactions now as she gets worse (going through early puberty/hormones is exacerbating everything… she has toddler-style meltdowns in public and is emotionally like a 5 or 6 year old, but she’s nearly as tall as I am). I think sometimes being a good parent means you know your limits, and value your relationship with your child more than your personal pet theories and beliefs. You can’t always be a “good parent” to a kid with ADHD any more than a flood can avoid soaking the earth or a tree can avoid uprooted in a tornado. These kids demand more of parents than any parent can handle sometimes.

By: aspiemom

aspiemom — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 04:13:43 +0000

me too, Lori. Honestly… as well intentioned as this article is, it made me feel somewhere between laughing and crying. I am sick of being implicated as the reason for my daughter’s behavioral issues (she has severe ADHD and Aspergers). Haha, “some parents don’t know how to give kids a time out…” um, that worked when she was… 2? maybe? until she figured out there was only so long I could keep going in to make her stay in the room when she tried to get out. You can’t TIE a kid to a corner if they insist on getting up. Time outs suck for many very willful and determined ADHD kids. They do not work! Now she is stronger than me, almost as tall (at and can hurt me, break things and endanger herself and others etc if she is having a meltdown. The author doesn’t get it. This is a PARENTING MANUAL. WE GET IT. I would assume that MOST of us already implement most, if not all of these strategies. I certainly do. Behavioral issues like ADHD, when SEVERE, are VERY hard on families, and require drastic measures. My aunt DIED because taking care of 2 mentally handicapped kids with severe ADHD destroyed her health and sanity until she even lost her will to live. And my own health is a mess from caring for my extremely behaviorally challenged daughter alone. Yes, I agree that parents should be involved, but not because they are the ones causing the ADHD… what a sick, damaging and outdated notion. Because they are AFFECTED by it, and because they play a role in the child’s care and healing. ADHD does cause vicious cycles of behavior/reaction, but it’s not because of bad parenting, it’s because even the best parents have a threshold after which they lose their minds and are just surviving. My cousins (even worse ADHD than my daughter), if you left them in a room alone for a few minutes, would pee on the floor, poke holes in the screen window, scream, jump on tables and torture the dog. They were not “bad kids” but had severe neurological handicaps. This is a nice guide for raising neurotypical kids. But for kids with severely damaging behavioral disorders, a lot of these strategies just don’t work. Of all things the reward system and charts works best with my daughter. Any sort of demerit system just tends to promote meltdowns, which can be awful. You can NOT put a child in time out if they are having a tantrum and old enough to cause themselves harm, or aren’t willing to accept sitting still during the time-out. Anyway… I’m very surprised and bummed to hear that people still are blaming the parents’ lack of skills for ADHD.

By: Aly

Aly — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 03:55:48 +0000

Parenting skills may enter into the debate in many cases. In my case, I’ve already implemented all of these suggestions, and more. I have excellent parenting skills. I have two older children who excel academically, athletically, and socially. One of them is in 8th grade this year and is in high school level courses in every one of her classes. The other could read and write at 3 years old and was learning French and Italian at 4 and 5. My youngest son has had issues for as long as I can remember. He had his own language at two and three, when he finally began to speak. His father and I were the only ones who could understand him, and only because we were around him often enough to know that “cheese” was “umph” and “juice” was a slurping sound. No amount of reading with him or working with him helped. Speech therapy has helped considerably, but has taken three years to show improvement. He’s been in school through kindergarten, and is now in first grade. He won’t follow first requests, won’t follow any directions really, and is openly defiant at all times. He’s been in the timeout room or principal’s office almost as often as he’s been in class. I think his behavior socially is largely because he’s frustrated with his inability to communicate, and it has been building for years. His pediatrician recently diagnosed him with ADHD and ODD. He, and the school, are pushing us to put him on medication. The pediatrician prescribed him Adderall. I’ve done my research. Adderall has been on the market for a very limited amount of time. It has been widely used for an even smaller length of time. How do we know what the long term effects are, for this drug? How do we know how it is going to affect our children as they enter into adulthood? We don’t. There is no way of knowing. That’s sidestepping the matter of current side effects completely. We don’t know if this drug affects memory, learning capability, depression, overall behavior, ability to cope with everyday dilemmas or major traumas, or any of the possible effects to brain function, on a long term basis. I don’t think my son is the way he is because of my lack of parenting skills. I don’t think he’s the way he is because of learned behavior either. I think he has a legitimate medical issue. I just don’t think medication should be the first stepping stone in helping him overcome this issue. Not when alternative methods are readily available for any willing parent. Medicating a child is just an easy fix to a very complicated problem, that could negatively affect a child long into adulthood.

By: Feingoldmom4life

Feingoldmom4life — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 14:43:50 +0000

Tonya, I too am a mother of 5. Almost three years ago we were faced with similar issues with our 4 year old. I’m not a fan of medicating for most things. After looking online for different solutions I came across a mother who recommended the Feingold diet. I reluctantly tried it and to my surprise it worked. Within two weeks I had a different child. Everyone asked me if he was medicated. I saw changes in all my children, even the ones I didn’t think had any issues. My house was calmer and my children were happier. It changed our lives. Feingold.org

By: mom

mom — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 03:39:08 +0000

Jennifer, This upset me too. We as parents of a child suffering from ADHD have to deal with extraordinary behavioral issues. We are just as good of parents, if not better (because of all the behavioralist and pshycology sessions we attend to help our children get better), than the parents with typical kids, we just have to help an atypical extraordinary child who has little self regulation, attention and impulsivity control.

By: mom

mom — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 03:35:22 +0000

Thank you Lauri, I am in total agreement.

By: mom

mom — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 03:34:09 +0000

Parents have poor parenting skills? Really? My child has a neurological issue, and I have poor parenting skills? I do agree with behavioral therapy, and advanced parenting skills training to help in the extraordinary circumstances of having a child with ADHD /ADD. But find it offensive to suggest I have poor parenting skills. Parents of children with ADHD get enough of this suggestion from family, teachers, and strangers. It is not our doing or our fault we have a child struggling with ADHD. If your market on this article is parents, you may want to consider clarification of this.

By: Tonya

Tonya — Mon, 02 May 2011 04:02:30 +0000

I am a mother of 5. My son who is 12 was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 4. I was a young mother; I listened to doctors teachers and my mother. They were all telling me to put him on medication. Over the years he has been on different types of medications; currently he is on concerta. He only takes this for school never for home. Over the summer he gains a little weight and is much more normal. During the school year he looses weight, has migraines, doesn’t eat much all day, and has stomach aches.
My goal is to take him off this summer and keep him off no matter what the teachers say. If anyone has suggestions please post.

By: Mommy used to be so pretty...

Mommy used to be so pretty... — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 04:49:00 +0000

I like to joke about being a parent with ADHD in my blog. A lot of what has been commented here really hits home. I battle myself daily- whether or not to stop breastfeeding and start taking my medication. On one hand, I can function without it, but at what cost? I think I am doing an ok job as a parent, and I am very proud of being able to provide for my infant. On the other hand, I am exhausted, working full time, a two-parent home where we work separate shifts, a 6 month old baby and a 4 year old who will most likely be diagnosed with ADHD as well. Add to this a husband who has been diagnosed ADHD and refuses medication in his life, and doesn’t think anyone else should use medication either. He feels it is mind over matter.

And I’m the parent.

By: Nana

Nana — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 21:01:33 +0000

I am helping raise my 5 year old grandson who was on medication but he was so zombied out my son took him off of it. For the most part, he does great without the meds. We stick to a regular routine, give him lots of positive reinforcement, pick our battles and early to bed.

Our problem is that when he gets excited, he gets overexcited. The Christmas season has him acting out, kicking and hitting the other kids in his class to the point that he was sent home early today and the school is recommending he take a day off tomorrow.

He is also profound deaf in both ears but is in a regular kindergarten class with hearing children. He is a very happy kid, when he ran around the class today hitting his classmates he did it with a smile on his face.

I don’t really have a question since he appears his dad has to make the decision to medicate or not medicate but wanted to vent and tell everybody to hang in there. It is stressful on families.