Comments on: Asking For Help

By: ayala

ayala — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 18:37:03 +0000

thankyou for the adice it came in hand

By: Pinky

Pinky — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 02:22:49 +0000

ok… I found my answer already. I should change my lifestyle instead of keep thinking all the negative thoughts. Thanks to the doctor who taught me many good things. I will start all over again.

By: Hedy

Hedy — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 16:47:54 +0000

Hi, I need someone to help me to solve the problem.
I felt that my life is empty and is boring. I feel lonely even though my family is around me. I feel jealous when i see couple holding hands, wherever I go.. either in my family or outside the community. I feel that I can’t carry on with my life anymore.. i really do not know what i want for my life.. and what kind of work should I do?
Recently, there is a problem in my office. There is a young lady sitting beside me, send me a msn and said.. whenever we talk we have conflicts, if this is the case, I just not suitable to work with you. If this so, let me know, I’ll leave this company.
This lady is a sensitive and straightforward person. When i read this, I began to angry with her but I blushed it away. I thought this is a small matter. Because of my manager ever told me that if there is any problem, tell me and don’t suffer silently. So, i went to tell my manager about it. After my manager heard what I told her about the problem from my side, she said that I was wrong. I admit it and apologized to my manager. I told my manager that I can only talked with her about only.. so that this will not caused any further conflict whenever we talked.
I didn’t go and apologized to the lady because I felt that she is a cunning person and she knows how to pretend. She handed her resignation letter but my manager asked her to stay back because this position is very difficult to find a person. Instead, my manager told me to leave the company if there is no improvement from me. This is ridiculous! Life is so unfair. The lady is the one who caused the problem, not me! I can see that my manager is on her side. My manager asked me to patch up with her with casually talk like before. I find it difficult to do it when the person hurt me. i can only talk with the lady about work only. My manager wanted me to take the 1st move. But, I don’t think I can do it because I am still angry with the lady. If I didn’t do it, i will ask to leave the company. I feel that i have no where to go because… if i leave the company, it will be very difficult for me to find another job. I have thought of opening gift shop which I like to do but I have no money and I don’t know where to start. If i really don’t have this job, i have no money to support my elderly parents and no money to pay my bills. Argh… I am stuck here. I really don’t know what I want for my life. So… I thought of giving up my life! What should I do? Please advice me.

By: dominicnarzary

dominicnarzary — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 08:06:57 +0000

God is good I am DOMINIC N I need help from every body . I have no parents and i am feeling along so please pray for me to God THANKS From;D. N. pray for me to God

By: The power of the junior on the team « Paircoaching’s Weblog

The power of the junior on the team « Paircoaching’s Weblog — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 07:26:31 +0000

[...] The power of the junior on the team Posted on October 9, 2009 by paircoaching I know some senior developers that don’t like PairProgram with juniors as they slow them down. First of all, the speed of the team (and thus the velocity of the team) is determent by the slowest on the team, not by the fastest. First reaction could be: let’s throw out these juniors. At first sight it might be good to only hire smart, seniors developers. We can advance much quicker. Well not exactly true. A lot of senior people have a hard time asking for help. [...]

By: Avrum Nadigel

Avrum Nadigel — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:28:00 +0000

and asking for help provides a perception of weakness, not to mention an opportunity to lead you astray.

Working in mental health, I’ve never had to encounter those environments. Though many of my friends work in Commerce, and they would agree with your observation.

By: Eric

Eric — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:39:59 +0000

Guess what: If you’re in a highly competitive environment, asking for help DOES make you seem weak in the eyes of others. It may be true that it’s GOOD to ask for help so you can do things right, but in highly competitive environments where others are constantly vying for the place you’ve achieved for yourself, perceptions matter and asking for help provides a perception of weakness, not to mention an opportunity to lead you astray.

By: Avrum Nadigel

Avrum Nadigel — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 03:36:58 +0000

John,

It would be refreshing to hear someone from our profession fess up and speak to the barriers that we create which prevents folks from accessing professional help.

- Avrum

By: Peggy Collins

Peggy Collins — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 16:55:21 +0000

Great article. I’ve written a book about this very thing!! Entitled Help is Not a Four-Letter Word: Why Doing It All is Doing You In published by McGraw Hill. I identify a NEVER BEFORE DISCUSSED self-defeating behavior I call The Self-Sufficiency Syndrome and the person a Self-Sufficient.

Since the book came out – I have spoken at many conferences, done 67 radio interviews, several TV interviews etc. and what I’m finding is that this is a near epidemic! Not only do many have difficulty asking for help but they also can’t delegate because no one else can do it as well.

I talk about what it is – where it came from and what we can do about it.

I would be happy to send you a book if you’d like to read more.
Peggy Collins
Speaker, Trainer, Author
http://www.helpisnotafourletterword.com
peggy@helpisnotafourletterword.com

By: Asking For Help

Asking For Help — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:48:20 +0000

[...] Original – World of Psychology [...]

By: Laura

Laura — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:37:53 +0000

I agree with the comment that “It makes us look vulnerable” MAY be a myth in SOME situations, in other cases the vulnerability is the truth rather than the myth.

By: Wendy Aron

Wendy Aron — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:56:28 +0000

I think asking for help comes naturally to women, but with men it’s far different. Men feel that if they ask for help they will be perceived as weak and unnecessary. The classic example is of a man and woman who are driving around in a car lost and the man refuses to stop the car and ask for directions. I think it’s also the reason why there must be more women in therapy than men.

Wendy Aron, author of Hide & Seek: How I Laughed at Depression, Conquered My Fears and Found Happiness
http://www.wendyaron.com