World of Psychology

Texting Through Your Grief

By John M Grohol PsyD
June 9, 2008

First it was cybertherapy. Now texting is making inroads into the national psyche, helping people work out tough emotional issues that under different circumstances, they might otherwise leave alone.

A story at MSNBC describes how some people turn to texting to deal with a recent emotional trauma, with the inevitable quote from a psychologist suggesting that “although texting may be a beneficial way to cope with tribulations initially, it’s too superficial to help overcome life’s obstacles.” Really now?

While the limits of texting are obvious (160 character limit, for instance), there’s actually been no research on this topic one way or another. So while common sense says you can’t text your way out of your feelings, I think texting can be just as helpful, powerful and beneficial to someone as sending a long, thoughtful email. Why?

Because it’s all communication. It’s all about sharing, opening up, and not closing down when ordinarily you might find it easier to do. There is no single accepted set of rules or anything for processing grief or loss, for finding closure. So there’s no reason why texting can be an important part of that process for some people who find it beneficial and helpful.

Texting is a great way to communicate with others when you don’t feel like talking or using some other technology. And while it’s no magic bullet, it surely can be more beneficial than simply closing oneself up and cutting off all communication with the outside world.

Read the full article: Turn to texting for the tough stuff


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6 Comments to
“Texting Through Your Grief”

I totally agree and find that if communication face to face can seem daunting, then texting can at least alleviate the fears or anxieties that this will evoke but to me personally the therapeutic space holds greater un-spoken gems.
Regards
Dawn Pugh
http://www.dawnpugh.com

I know sometimes I want to vent but I don’t know who to talk to. There’s actually an SMS service called ChaCha that has real people answering your questions. It’s cool for those types of situations.

it can be like poetry. when you use fewer words, each one is more meaningful.

Yes, texting is helpful, but too much off it can damage a situation. Some people use text messaging as an easy way out. I know people who have text messaging relationships, meaning they hate expressing their emotions and feelings verbal and live, so they text. Some people break up with their mate in a text message. It’s just certain things that people should verbalize.

I believe that just putting down feelings in print, is extremely helpful. When my sister died, and I
had no one who understood that experience, I emailed my feelings, to
myself. Later, I could re=read those
emails…and I started to understand
my feelings of grief … and what I
had to do to get beyond the pain.

I can talk to my partner for some things but he hasn’t experienced the death of a parent whom he loved or who loved him. His parents didn’t want him, my father didn’t want me….after my brother was born. He hadn’t wanted children at all.
I’m almost 61 and still carry the legacy of my father who would often tell me not to be “so bloody stupid!” and the death of my mother in 1979.

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    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 9 Jun 2008

 


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