When we think about teens and young adults, we often think about how much they worry about their popularity amongst their friends and others at high school or such. I think society often emphasizes the importance of “popularity” with TV shows that show how much fun it is to be a part of the “in crowd.”
But new research we reported on today suggests that such self-perception is possibly more important for feeling good about yourself and your social status amongst your friends than how popular you really are. You can be the biggest loser in high school, but if you think you’re cool, it doesn’t matter to your own sense of self-esteem and happiness.
Which only goes to show you that its not really popularity that matters so much as how good we feel about ourselves and our own achievements, no matter where we rank.
Self-esteem comes from feeling good about yourself and your own accomplishments and not comparing yourself with others. The less you can compare yourself to others, the happier you’ll be in almost any setting — from school, to work, to “getting ahead” in life.
Life lessons worth learning at any age.
Read the full article: Teens’ Perception of Popularity Is Important
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6 Responses to “Self-Esteem More Important Than Popularity” (Pingbacks/trackbacks not shown below)
Wendy Aron at 1:56 pm on
May 19th, 2008
Teens with high self-esteem are the most fantastic people you’ll ever find. Just think of the movies Juno and Napoleaon Dynamite, where the lead teen charactars were so lovable because they marched to the beat of their own drummers.
Wendy Aron, author of Hide & Seek: How I Laughed at Depression, Conquered My Fears and Found Happiness
flewzighte at 4:14 pm on
May 19th, 2008
If happiness is never comparing yourself to others, then is happiness really a good thing? I think it is a good idea to constantly strive for self improvement, and in order to improve you must learn how to accept constructive criticism. You can’t accept criticism if you refuse to ever compare yourself to others.
Maybe the problem is HOW people choose to compare themselves to others. If you like to judge yourself by things such as how comparatively attractive your date is, how expensive your car is, and how many friends you can get on myspace, I think it’s safe to say these kinds of accomplishments won’t bring lasting happiness. But if you choose to compare things like your skills, productivity, sense of humor, and general demeanor to other people, I don’t see what the harm is.
A while ago this blog had a very insightful post about the unimportance of self esteem and the importance of self efficacy. That’s the point of view I tend to believe. Tell me if you disagree.
In fact, right under this post in the what’s related section there is a link to this article called exploding the self esteem myth http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2004/12/22/exploding-the-self-esteem-myth/
Terry @building self esteem at 3:30 am on
May 20th, 2008
So very true. If you can look at yourself for who you are and believe in yourself then that is half the battle one. It is nice to know that when you feel good about yourself that the world around you will feel the same way. We sow what we reap, so if we are confident and feeling secure, then we will be. Great post and looked at from a different perspective.
John M. Grohol, Psy.D. at 1:43 pm on
May 20th, 2008
In order to try and simplify the headline and such, I think I may have oversimplified what the study found. Specifically –
“Teenagers who felt good about their own social standing did well over time, the study found, regardless of how popular they were.”
This doesn’t necessarily speak only to self-esteem. Indeed, the article flewzighte links to (which actually leads to a SciAm article of the same name found here:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=000CB565-F330-11BE-AD0683414B7F0000&colID=1
but which is no longer free, unfortunately), suggests that self-esteem isn’t as important as we think it is either.
The point that how and under what circumstances we choose to make comparisons is a good one. I think the relationships here are complex and not yet fully understood.
Be a Part of the Conversation! Comment on this Entry Now:
Teens with high self-esteem are the most fantastic people you’ll ever find. Just think of the movies Juno and Napoleaon Dynamite, where the lead teen charactars were so lovable because they marched to the beat of their own drummers.
Wendy Aron, author of Hide & Seek: How I Laughed at Depression, Conquered My Fears and Found Happiness
If happiness is never comparing yourself to others, then is happiness really a good thing? I think it is a good idea to constantly strive for self improvement, and in order to improve you must learn how to accept constructive criticism. You can’t accept criticism if you refuse to ever compare yourself to others.
Maybe the problem is HOW people choose to compare themselves to others. If you like to judge yourself by things such as how comparatively attractive your date is, how expensive your car is, and how many friends you can get on myspace, I think it’s safe to say these kinds of accomplishments won’t bring lasting happiness. But if you choose to compare things like your skills, productivity, sense of humor, and general demeanor to other people, I don’t see what the harm is.
A while ago this blog had a very insightful post about the unimportance of self esteem and the importance of self efficacy. That’s the point of view I tend to believe. Tell me if you disagree.
In fact, right under this post in the what’s related section there is a link to this article called exploding the self esteem myth http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2004/12/22/exploding-the-self-esteem-myth/
So very true. If you can look at yourself for who you are and believe in yourself then that is half the battle one. It is nice to know that when you feel good about yourself that the world around you will feel the same way. We sow what we reap, so if we are confident and feeling secure, then we will be. Great post and looked at from a different perspective.
In order to try and simplify the headline and such, I think I may have oversimplified what the study found. Specifically –
“Teenagers who felt good about their own social standing did well over time, the study found, regardless of how popular they were.”
This doesn’t necessarily speak only to self-esteem. Indeed, the article flewzighte links to (which actually leads to a SciAm article of the same name found here:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=000CB565-F330-11BE-AD0683414B7F0000&colID=1
but which is no longer free, unfortunately), suggests that self-esteem isn’t as important as we think it is either.
The point that how and under what circumstances we choose to make comparisons is a good one. I think the relationships here are complex and not yet fully understood.
