If you’ve ever wondered how long is “enough” for good sex, you may now have your answer.
In a survey of 34 sex therapists (who should know better, right?), researchers discovered that anywhere between 3 and 13 minutes was optimal for good sexual intercourse.
In a 2005 study of 1,500 couples, 7 minutes was ideal, but as little as 3 to 5 minutes (not including foreplay) will do according to the current study. (We couldn’t find the 2005 study mentioned in the newspaper article — we wish they’d actually include a reference when reporting on such data!)
Seven minutes? Five minutes? What does it matter? If you’re having a good sex life and can talk honestly to your partner from time to time about sex and any issues that arise, I don’t understand the preoccupation some have with “how long is long enough” and similar data.
It’s never been about quantity, anyway — it’s all about quality. It takes as long as it takes. If you’re not enjoying sex and it’s over “too quickly,” then please talk to your partner about the issue. Don’t lead a life of quiet frustration and resentment over these sorts of issues.
The new study can be found in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Read the full article: Sex Therapists: a Few Minutes Is Best
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9 Responses to “How Long For Good Sex? 5 Minutes Will Do” (Pingbacks/trackbacks not shown below)
Betty at 3:48 pm on
April 6th, 2008
I found this article to be very informing. My partner and I, Joe, have come to believe that 5 minutes of actual intercorse is the optimal amount of time, and that anything after is simply boring. Thank you for spicing up the bedroom for me and my lover!
Jude at 3:52 pm on
April 6th, 2008
Yes, I quite agree with Betty. I myself have found that it really releases the pressure of attempting to “pleasure” my wife for a longer period of time. And after finding that she is just as satisfied is a bonus. It gives me more time for CSI.
Timo W at 12:48 pm on
April 7th, 2008
I was also looking for the 2005 study, I found those:
Patrick, D.L., Althof, S.E., Pryor, J.L., Rosen, R., Rowland, D.L., Ho, K.F., McNulty, P., Rothman, M. & Jamieson, C. (2005). Premature ejaculation: an observational study of men and their partners. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2, 3, pp. 358-367.
[Abstract: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16422869 ]
And one more on this subject in the same journal:
Waldinger, M.D., Quinn, P., Dilleen, M., Mundayat, R., Schweitzer, D.H., & Boolell, M. (2005). A multinational population survey of intravaginal ejaculation latency time. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2, 4, pp. 492-497. [Abstract:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16422843 ]
Sarah at 12:06 am on
April 10th, 2008
This is a little embarrassing to admit, but when my husband puts it in I get off. We are just so in tune with each other. It never takes long to make each other happy.
Minutes? Why care about time when what matters is what the we feel and, where it get us in terms of positive relationship??
John at 12:12 pm on
June 20th, 2008
I see Good sex as being this good, an “hour of sex”….. 15 min of foreplay, Penetration however long it takes, there should b no limit, if the feeling is good prolong it for however long you can. after her and you orgasms get back to foreplay 15 min or at least until you psych each other up for another orgasm. Sex can only b boring if you don’t psych each other up each time for orgasm, if you have sex without feeling the heat it can b pointless so foreplay is important for not just women but men also, its like creating fire with to sharp rocks it can get boring if theres no oxygen to fuel the flame. statistics from doctors shouldn’t apply to you because we all have different limits. all good things should not be so quick. as long as we fill in a lot of foreplay and have decent time for penetration sex could last an hour and a half. after all foreplay, touching,kissing, sucking, biting in the first place gives the urge to hump dee dump dee.
Yari at 8:02 pm on
August 14th, 2008
My experiences do not agree with this finding. With foreplay, multiple orgasm and hugging in resolution we easily go for 30 minutes, without trying. 15 minutes barely give us the time for one stanza. My girl friend would not want to enter into sexual play unless we have more than an hour to ourselves. May be our age gives us the ability not to be rushed. We both are seniors, me more so. Obviously we are not into “performance” any more.
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I found this article to be very informing. My partner and I, Joe, have come to believe that 5 minutes of actual intercorse is the optimal amount of time, and that anything after is simply boring. Thank you for spicing up the bedroom for me and my lover!
Yes, I quite agree with Betty. I myself have found that it really releases the pressure of attempting to “pleasure” my wife for a longer period of time. And after finding that she is just as satisfied is a bonus. It gives me more time for CSI.
I was also looking for the 2005 study, I found those:
Patrick, D.L., Althof, S.E., Pryor, J.L., Rosen, R., Rowland, D.L., Ho, K.F., McNulty, P., Rothman, M. & Jamieson, C. (2005). Premature ejaculation: an observational study of men and their partners. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2, 3, pp. 358-367.
[Abstract: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16422869 ]
And one more on this subject in the same journal:
Waldinger, M.D., Quinn, P., Dilleen, M., Mundayat, R., Schweitzer, D.H., & Boolell, M. (2005). A multinational population survey of intravaginal ejaculation latency time. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2, 4, pp. 492-497. [Abstract:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16422843 ]
This is a little embarrassing to admit, but when my husband puts it in I get off. We are just so in tune with each other. It never takes long to make each other happy.
Minutes? Why care about time when what matters is what the we feel and, where it get us in terms of positive relationship??
I see Good sex as being this good, an “hour of sex”….. 15 min of foreplay, Penetration however long it takes, there should b no limit, if the feeling is good prolong it for however long you can. after her and you orgasms get back to foreplay 15 min or at least until you psych each other up for another orgasm. Sex can only b boring if you don’t psych each other up each time for orgasm, if you have sex without feeling the heat it can b pointless so foreplay is important for not just women but men also, its like creating fire with to sharp rocks it can get boring if theres no oxygen to fuel the flame. statistics from doctors shouldn’t apply to you because we all have different limits. all good things should not be so quick. as long as we fill in a lot of foreplay and have decent time for penetration sex could last an hour and a half. after all foreplay, touching,kissing, sucking, biting in the first place gives the urge to hump dee dump dee.
My experiences do not agree with this finding. With foreplay, multiple orgasm and hugging in resolution we easily go for 30 minutes, without trying. 15 minutes barely give us the time for one stanza. My girl friend would not want to enter into sexual play unless we have more than an hour to ourselves. May be our age gives us the ability not to be rushed. We both are seniors, me more so. Obviously we are not into “performance” any more.
