When is it time to consider psychotherapy? is a great article written by Karen Rogers, MFCC. Sometimes people don’t seek professional help because of stigma and stereotypes, like that a belief it’s only for seriously ill people. Rogers explains what psychotherapy is (for example, that it doesn’t provide answers but helps you reach your own) and suggests nine reasons to consider it.
A major life event like a breakup, death, financial crisis or an accident will cause distress - which is totally normal - but if the distress doesn’t improve over time therapy can help resolve it. Other reasons include “when you notice yourself repeating negative patterns with work, family, friends or personal pursuits,” “when your work and/or personal life is negatively impacted by your moods or feeling states,” chronically low self-esteem, and disruptive habits like substance misuse or overspending. Rogers expands on these, and more:
7. When life has ceased feeling meaningful, joyous or purposeful. Does your life feel dry, flat or routine? Do you find more often than not that you’re simply going through the motions, doing the daily tasks that must be done with little pleasure, satisfaction or delight? Have you lost touch with the hopes and dreams that used to motivate and inspire you? These states of spiritual and psychological aridity can signal the need to take a deeper look at ourselves and reevaluate our commitments and priorities. The responsiveness of a therapist can help us acknowledge the deep urgings and longings of our truer selves. Therapy can be a place where we chart a new course for our lives.
8. When an important relationship is in trouble. Close, intimate relationships are the places where we learn the most about ourselves. They have the ability to bring out the very best and worst in us and our partners. If your relationship with your spouse, partner, child or family is a repeated source of pain, consider consulting a therapist. Often an objective third party trained in relationship dynamics can point out problematic patterns in communication, habits of criticism, attack, defensiveness or withdrawal and help a couple reconnect with what they value in each other.
9. When others express concern for you. Have family, friends or co-workers mentioned that they’re worried or concerned about you? Have you received feedback that you don’t seem yourself lately or that your behavior is alarming to those who care about you? It sometimes takes great courage for the people who love us to let us know that something seems wrong. This can serve as a wake-up call.
If you’re wondering if therapy or counseling is appropriate at this point in your life, read the full article and/or contact someone to discuss it. (PsychCentral has a directory for people in North America). Sometimes it only takes a brief series of solution-focussed counselling, and nobody is “crazy” to seek help with a problem. It might be crazier not to.
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5 Comments to
“Nine Reasons to Get Psychotherapy”
I was once asked why people were so afraid to seek professional psychiatric help sometimes. “Why,” I was asked, “do we go for a physical every year, but not a mental?” Whether we have gone through something traumatizing or not, whether you have lost someone or something important to you, whether others are concerned for your wellbeing or they believe you are doing just fine, I believe that everyone should seek “help” every once in a while. Even if it is just to sort out simple problems or to vent simple bothering aspects of one’s life. I’m glad that others are also trying to encourage seeing a psychologist. Perhaps it will rid our society of the stigma that one MUST have problems in their lives to want to get help.
I’d have to agree. I grew up getting yelled at almost constantly because my Dad had worsening anxiety depression and consequently problems with anger. Now I have my own emotional problems to work through and by the time anyone realized i was on a downward slope I was too deep in depression to have much motivation to do anything. I won’t get into that but i can say that i needed help way before i got it. Between my fear of what people would think of me, my parents assuming i was fine, and too many stressful obligations i was a walking case of madness.
Today’s life is too busy and pressured to not feel a mental strain. I think if we don’t get over our stigmatism about getting ‘help’ soon we’ll have a nation of overstressed, sleep-deprived zombies on the border between madness and sanity.
I think that the stereotypes against pychiatrist visits and counseling are awful. I know that I have had times that it would have been so much better for me if I could just talk to a professional who knows what they are doing instead of trying to ignore my feelings because I was too afraid. I also know friends who truly need to get help but refuse. I think everyone needs some kind of psych session once in a while because we are all human, we all make mistakes, we all have our bad days. But, if we don’t have someone to talk to, if we can’t get help when times are really rough, things may turn into more than just a bad day.
Therapy is for those that want a sympathetic ear to their plight.
Anyone really wanting to change can do it on their own. Therapists are just an ear, with no real value to those that can’t fix themselves.
Veronica: I am happy that you are so accomplished that you can “heal” any difficulty you have. Unfortunately, I am one of the ones I guess you think do not have the desire to change on her own–despite years of attempts to do so with no positive results.
Do you think there is such a thing as a mental disorder as bipolar (manic depression)? My mother had that diagnosis & could not be helped despite medications available at that time (1960’s & 1970’s– ECT’s, therapy, hospitalizations in the mental institution–finally she was going to be involuntarily committed as she was a danger to herself (numerous suicide attempts) & to us children (threatened to kill us)–but she did end up succeeding in killing herself before the process was completed. So do you think she DIDN’T WANT TO FIX HERSELF OR CHANGE HERSELF?? My God–what a lack of compassion for a tortured soul, truly, I witnessed it.
She had some lucid moments when she begged to get a lobotomy to get rid of her “poisoned brain.”
Now I have been diagnosed with bipolar myself & have had some of the same experiences–not to the same extent as hers, thank goodness–in that I have lived through my suicide attempts & have had the help of the newer medications & extensive THERAPY–individual & dialectical behavioral therapy.
I admit I can’t fix myself without help so I applaud all of you who can, but don’t downgrade those of us who know we can’t & reach out for the help we need.
There is a GREAT value in therapy to those of us (like myself) who are not as accomplished as you are. Please have a little more compassion, understanding & knowledge. All my best to you & I’m glad you are doing so well. I hope to be in such a place of security some day myself.
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Jan 2008
