Comments on: 7 Ways to Deal with Holiday Grief http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/ Dr. John Grohol's daily update on all things in psychology and mental health. Since 1999. Sat, 26 May 2012 02:27:01 +0000 hourly 1 By: Denise Cullen http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-723971 Denise Cullen Sun, 18 Dec 2011 18:15:55 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/#comment-723971 This was a great article except she sort of missed the boat on #1. For most people, keeping their loved one's memory alive is hugely important, so her point about not letting the person's name become a landmine is off. More commonly OTHER people are hesitant to use their name or bring them up because they are afraid to make us "sad", as if we aren't sad already, or have forgotten that our person is gone forever. I would have liked more emphasis on #1 being SO important to us so that others would not be afraid to say their name, or talk about them, share stories and memories. I had to teach my family...and now they are great about it. Losing my son is a life altering event. My family and friends feel it as well, but in a different way. When the person is no longer there, and they were such a huge part of the holiday event for many years...it makes it especially difficult. Thanks for the article, Barry. This was a great article except she sort of missed the boat on #1. For most people, keeping their loved one’s memory alive is hugely important, so her point about not letting the person’s name become a landmine is off. More commonly OTHER people are hesitant to use their name or bring them up because they are afraid to make us “sad”, as if we aren’t sad already, or have forgotten that our person is gone forever. I would have liked more emphasis on #1 being SO important to us so that others would not be afraid to say their name, or talk about them, share stories and memories. I had to teach my family…and now they are great about it.

Losing my son is a life altering event. My family and friends feel it as well, but in a different way. When the person is no longer there, and they were such a huge part of the holiday event for many years…it makes it especially difficult. Thanks for the article, Barry.

]]> By: Carol http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-723323 Carol Thu, 08 Dec 2011 21:58:36 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/#comment-723323 My husband of 39 years passed away four months ago, and I have a daughter, 27, who was married 6 weeks after her dad died. It has been so bittersweet! I know my sweetheart is in a better place~~he had suffered with cancer for over 21 years. He lived every moment to the fullest, and was a true survivor in so many ways. It has been hard to go through our anniversary, his birthday and Thanksgiving without him. I miss him so much, and have found staying busy with my grandchildren--son's children, who live close by,traveling to do the trips Greg & I had planned, and visiting our middle one, a daughter who has special needs, has helped. What has been especially good for me has been a group called "Grief Share" that meets once a week for 13 sessions. I missed about half due to our daughter's wedding and travel, but will continue with the group when it begins again in the Spring. A book that was invaluable to me in the first days after Greg died is Heaven is for Real, by Scott Burpo. My sister, who is a mental health professional, gave it to me the day Greg passed.I gave it to a woman in Grief Share who lost her mother recently, and she loved it, and has persuaded her husband to read to you. He is not a reader, but loved the book! Good luck to you in this journey, and please be gentle with yourself. My husband of 39 years passed away four months ago, and I have a daughter, 27, who was married 6 weeks after her dad died. It has been so bittersweet! I know my sweetheart is in a better place~~he had suffered with cancer for over 21 years. He lived every moment to the fullest, and was a true survivor in so many ways. It has been hard to go through our anniversary, his birthday and Thanksgiving without him. I miss him so much, and have found staying busy with my grandchildren–son’s children, who live close by,traveling to do the trips Greg & I had planned, and visiting our middle one, a daughter who has special needs, has helped. What has been especially good for me has been a group called “Grief Share” that meets once a week for 13 sessions. I missed about half due to our daughter’s wedding and travel, but will continue with the group when it begins again in the Spring. A book that was invaluable to me in the first days after Greg died is Heaven is for Real, by Scott Burpo. My sister, who is a mental health professional, gave it to me the day Greg passed.I gave it to a woman in Grief Share who lost her mother recently, and she loved it, and has persuaded her husband to read to you. He is not a reader, but loved the book! Good luck to you in this journey, and please be gentle with yourself.

]]> By: Casteel http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-723319 Casteel Thu, 08 Dec 2011 20:52:51 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/#comment-723319 Victoria, I know exactly how you feel.. this year will mark the 3rd year of my mothers passing and believe it or not it was on Christmas Eve. Every year to me feels like a dreaded holiday, and Christmas used to be a big deal, and now since her and my grandfather have passed away it's a time of year I have anxiety and painful feelings and memories about now. I'm 22 now and it's still not real to me. Time has made it slightly easier.. but it's something I'm always going to have to live with everyday. I hope this year is easier for you then the last. Take care and have a wonderful Christmas, whether you're happy or sad. Just take care of yourself =]. Victoria,

I know exactly how you feel.. this year will mark the 3rd year of my mothers passing and believe it or not it was on Christmas Eve. Every year to me feels like a dreaded holiday, and Christmas used to be a big deal, and now since her and my grandfather have passed away it’s a time of year I have anxiety and painful feelings and memories about now. I’m 22 now and it’s still not real to me. Time has made it slightly easier.. but it’s something I’m always going to have to live with everyday. I hope this year is easier for you then the last. Take care and have a wonderful Christmas, whether you’re happy or sad. Just take care of yourself =].

]]> By: Serena http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-723304 Serena Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:44:27 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/#comment-723304 It is the first Christmas without my father and since he loved the holidays and family gatherings so much, it is difficult that he is not here. He died at the end of September so the loss is still pretty fresh. It is the first Christmas without my father and since he loved the holidays and family gatherings so much, it is difficult that he is not here. He died at the end of September so the loss is still pretty fresh.

]]> By: victoria http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-682422 victoria Thu, 25 Nov 2010 05:38:22 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/#comment-682422 This is my first holiday without my mom . I never thought in my early 20's I would ever be doing this. Im hoping next year it will be much easier , and I will be able to sit down at a meal. This year the memories are just so fresh. It has only been 4 months since she passed suddenly. Nothing seems fair to me anymore This is my first holiday without my mom . I never thought in my early 20′s I would ever be doing this. Im hoping next year it will be much easier , and I will be able to sit down at a meal. This year the memories are just so fresh. It has only been 4 months since she passed suddenly. Nothing seems fair to me anymore

]]> By: Merry Christmas | Public Spark http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-374485 Merry Christmas | Public Spark Tue, 25 Dec 2007 16:01:47 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/#comment-374485 [...] While holidays in general can be a great time, it can also be stressful or even sad. A couple of Christmas seasons, I have had dear family members and family friends pass on. Christmas can remind me of the loss and sadness of not having them physically with us. But it can also be a time of reflection and a good time where we can share stories of good memories we have had with those individuals. Psych Central has a good blog on how to deal with holiday grief. [...] [...] While holidays in general can be a great time, it can also be stressful or even sad. A couple of Christmas seasons, I have had dear family members and family friends pass on. Christmas can remind me of the loss and sadness of not having them physically with us. But it can also be a time of reflection and a good time where we can share stories of good memories we have had with those individuals. Psych Central has a good blog on how to deal with holiday grief. [...]

]]> By: How To Survive The Holidays Alone http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-370305 How To Survive The Holidays Alone Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:19:13 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/#comment-370305 [...] Sandra Kiume at “Psychcentral” mentions in her article 7 Ways to Deal with Holiday Grief ,(it’s about coping with the death of a loved one, but can also be used for break-up/divorce situations), that it’s important to realize that: Things won’t be the same. It’s normal to feel at odds with yourself and family events when dealing with grief. Do not isolate, but limit involvement when you need to and plan new events. [...] [...] Sandra Kiume at “Psychcentral” mentions in her article 7 Ways to Deal with Holiday Grief ,(it’s about coping with the death of a loved one, but can also be used for break-up/divorce situations), that it’s important to realize that: Things won’t be the same. It’s normal to feel at odds with yourself and family events when dealing with grief. Do not isolate, but limit involvement when you need to and plan new events. [...]

]]> By: mental health » Blog Archive » 7 Ways to Deal with Holiday Grief http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-364096 mental health » Blog Archive » 7 Ways to Deal with Holiday Grief Thu, 13 Dec 2007 05:10:58 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/12/12/7-ways-to-deal-with-holiday-grief/#comment-364096 [...] Read the rest of this great post here [...] [...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]

]]>