What exactly is the definition of domestic abuse? Verbal, psychological, economic, it can manifest in ways that don’t show bruises. HelpGuide maintains a great, concise page about the cycle of violence, types of abuse, warning signs and red flags. If you suspect someone is being abused, or if you feel uneasy in your own situation, consider these questions.
Does your partner:
- humiliate, criticize, or yell at you?
- treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
- ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
- blame you for his own abusive behavior?
- see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
- have a bad and unpredictable temper?
- hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
- threaten to take your children away or harm them?
- threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
- force you to have sex?
- destroy your belongings?
- act excessively jealous and possessive?
- control where you go or what you do?
- keep you from seeing your friends or family?
- limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
- constantly check up on you?
Although that page and most others like it refer to the abused as female and the abuser male, the opposite happens more often than you might realize. The National Clearinghouse on Family Violence released an Overview Paper on Intimate Partner Abuse Toward Men with detailed information and eyebrow-raising statistics. Women are at higher risk of more severe violence, but either partner can be victimized. Nearly half the time in abusive relationships, both partners are abusive to each other.
If you are being victimized please seek help through a domestic abuse hotline and/or counselling service. If in danger of imminent violence, of course first call 911 or your country’s emergency services number.
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aahillyer » What is Abusive? (12/10/2007)
5 Comments to
“What is Abusive?”
Spousal or partner abuse is certainly a topic worth exploring, yet, there is a far more numbing form, Elder Abuse. Recently, I heard of a story about a daughter who gained access of her father’s funds and assets, moved into his house to “care for him” and began a systematic abuse of his body, funds and personhood. She tied him to the toilet for a day or so at a time with the outcome that when finally rescued from her clutches, he could no longer walk. Abuse of any human being of whatever age or relationship is abhorent and needs to be brought to light and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Steve Kirk is author of Making Perfect Sense, http://www.theperfectsense.com.
I think its said that there needs to be a quiz on this site to determine if you are a victim of domestic violence. Wouldn’t that be obvious? Are people in such denial that they need a quiz to tell them?
I guess some people do need the quiz, because we have hundreds of people who take it every day:
The global statistics (from a United Nations Report): 1 in 3 women are being abused and ever 9 seconds a woman is assaulted.
To Jay: No, it isn’t obvious, if you were abused as a child, most likely you will accept abuse. Abuse is literally….brainwashing.
Women live in isolation, fear and confusion. It is a (verbal abuse) shredding of the soul.
I suggest you read The Verbally Abusive Relationship; it will assist you in understanding what happens in an abusive “relationship”
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 10 Dec 2007
