Comments on: 5 Tips for Dealing with Guilt

By: Jason

Jason — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:16:54 +0000

Thanks for this. I’ve been feeling guilt and wasn’t sure how to describe it or even thought it was guilt until recently. Been mulling over it for a month when I encountered an incident on the street that I tried to help, but don’t know if I did or just walked away. Turned out to be really bad as I found out the next day from the cops and the news.

Then I encountered a similar incident just a few days ago. Again, I tried to help, but I ended up walking away because I didn’t know how much I can intrude. I freaked out when I got home.

I didn’t think of it being guilt, because I couldn’t decide if I did anything wrong. I did what I thought was right at the time, but in only retrospect I maybe could have done more? …for better or worse?

Thank you for this article. I think better understand what I’m feeling.

By: jcookie

jcookie — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 23:55:02 +0000

With me, my guilt focuses directly on the emotions of the person I have hurt through very careless, selfish and reckless actions. I have been obsessing about how my actions have affected that person emotionally, and it’s very difficult to let go of that. You know you have caused someone emotional pain, and you cannot make amends for what happened in the past, no matter how hard you try. I have apologized and tried to move on, but something always seems to bring me back to the anxiety that comes with obsessive guilt. Right now, I am trying to focus on the fact that my feelings of guilt have, in a way, made amends for my actions, because I *understand* and *recgonize* that my actions were wrong, and I am not going to repeat them and make the same mistake of hurting someone else. Secondly, I am beginning to realize the damage that guilt does to those around me. Chronic guilt is unhealthy for me, but it also compromises my relationships with loved ones. If I’m focusing on the guilt, I can’t easily focus on doing the best I can for the people I love. That isn’t fair on them. It’s a case of learning how to let go, piece by piece, and ultimately forgiving yourself for being imperfect and human.

By: dfreg

dfreg — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:58:52 +0000

sometimes i feel guilty even when ive done nothing wrong. but i know i cant change the way i feel at the moment. what to do?

By: Soni

Soni — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:11:25 +0000

For the last 4 years i have been lying to my family and friends about a lot of things. I was all prepared for my 12th exams but i did not give my exams for i simply did not feel like. i had no courage to reveal it to my parents so I made up a story and somehow managed them into believing that i scored very well. Obviously since I couldnt clear my high school i couldnt go for higher studies. I managed them to permit me to opt out of collage and work. now im working with a 13hrs a day routine earning a lot. maybe as much as none in my family could imagine. and they all respect me for that. but again there are still a lot of facts i have kept them oblivious to. things they should know. but they are very very happy presently. me confessing it all and apologizing would ruin everything. god may forgive me but my parents wont. Im dying of guilt here. I have no idea whether to hang on to the situation or do something about it.

By: Clare

Clare — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 11:49:20 +0000

Hi Pamela,
I can understand how you feel. I have had many rows with people over the years and longed to put it right but I can’t, usually because I don’t know where they are now. It sounds like you were feeling pretty hurt at the time. You were not to know that he was going to die. Your neighbour is now at peace and his feelings will have died with him. It sounds like he wanted to try to heal your hurt when he was trying to speak to you. If he couldn’t do that for you when he was alive, you can still accept it now and you can both be at peace. I’m a Christian and I know that there is no sin which cannot be forgiven. Your neighbour wouldn’t want you to be tortured like this. God bless.

By: dfreg

dfreg — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 19:32:16 +0000

EVEN WHEN I’VE SAID SOMETHING IN THE PAST THAT WAS APPROPRIATE, WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT IN THE PRESENT I FEEL GUILTY. THIS BOTHERS ME. HAPPILY ITS LESS NOW.

By: Pamela

Pamela — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 14:27:13 +0000

I was keeping malice with a neighbour, and he has been trying to talk to me but i didn’t give face now he is dead. I am passing thru hell due to guilt. My mind is always telling me that i would ve talked to him and leave everthing.please advise me i am passing through psychological trauma.

By: Guilt

Guilt — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 21:33:16 +0000

Guilt is an important emotion. God shows me things about myself through it all the time. Jim makes a great point, God does take all of that apon himself with his death. I am always aware of this. I also am concious that he put guilt in me so I can recognise my sin and my need for forgiveness. He also helps me with my relationships through guilt. Reminds me when I need to speak to someone differently, relate to someone differently and appologise to someone to maintain a relationship with him. So yes guilt is healthy. But I have found it interesting reading alot of comments and thinking about the different ways that guilt is Gods tool to show us that our world is not perfect and we should be focusing and reaching for something more.

By: Wow it's tough

Wow it's tough — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 18:25:45 +0000

Hi Les. How about if you had it all and you threw it away and blamed everyone else. Also I have a great life with a lot to be thankful for but I continue to wish fir more. It is a prison and I know no amount of wishing or praying will change it. Please know there are many of us out there.

By: Les

Les — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 13:01:43 +0000

What about people who feel guilty all the time about things they can’t control? I feel guilty constantly for wanting more, more financial freedom, more personal freedoms a vacation (haven’t had one in 16 years) and then I feel guilty because there are so many people with way bigger problems than I have, people with kids who have cancer, people who can’t feed their children, but yet I always want more than I have. I’m allowed to desire things, but wish I could get rid of all the guilt I feel when I do wish for more in life.

By: Jim Jensen

Jim Jensen — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 18:17:11 +0000

Dear whydididothis: It sounds very much to me like you have suffered much of your life with serious depression. Fortunately it is treatable. I would suggest you seek medical and psychological help, or both. Doing so is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
Admitting your guilt on this forum was a great beginning.
Know this, Jesus did not sacrifice himself so we should go through life filled with guilt. He wants you to live your life with happiness and joy.
I wish you every success. God Bless You.

By: Jim Jensen

Jim Jensen — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 18:00:16 +0000

Healthy guilt can prevent the re-occurrence of what caused the guilt to begin with. Next should come remorse. Sorrow for our actions.
Hebrews 10: 12. Whereas this One [Christ], after He had offered a single sacrifice for our sins [that shall avail] for all time, sat down at the right hand of God…
Jesus died for our sins, our guilt. Guilt is an emotion. It is not a tangible thing and we don’t have to continuously kick ourselves for past mistakes. Having asked for forgiveness we need to learn how to accept that forgiveness and “let it go”. Stop beating yourself up. We live in a world of spiritual warfare so the devil will continue to remind you of your past actions. He doesn’t want you to live guilt free but you can easily defeat him through Christ our Lord.

By: elou

elou — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 21:07:11 +0000

but how?…

By: whydididothis

whydididothis — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 03:37:49 +0000

I lied about being sick for 3 years. every day i lied to my family that i was very sick. my mom paid so much money to make me feel better, brought me to Mayo clinic and everything. I feel so awful. I can’t bear the thought of telling her that i lied. and yet i want this to go away. I feel like i lied about being sick because i was so sad, and i couldn’t get anyone to understand that… this is the first time i’ve ever told anyone. i didn’t do this for attention… i did it because i hurt so bad inside, and the only way they would understand is if it looked like it on the outside.
i feel guilty about it everyday. right now i’m dying inside, hoping that i will get hit by a car or something, how i deserve the pain i gave to them and 10x more. i wasted my life in a state of depression self harm, and vomiting. part of me still feels like i am sick. i am fatigued, vomiting regularly (not on purpose) dizzy, and everything. i was diagnosed with numbers that cannot be lied about, it was a family disease too, my mom had it… so am i lying? should i feel guilty? i don’t even know anymore… who am i?

By: budget therapist

budget therapist — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 14:44:51 +0000

The need for approval from your parents is a strong force.That must have been extreemly difficult to be assranged from your parents. I think God understands what you were going thru. God does forgive and heals. I think if you give your guilt over to Him you will begin to find peace. Mabey the pain you feel can be the motivation for helping others that have similar problems and pressures in thier life. Ihope this helps you.