Comments on: Therapy After Domestic Violence http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/ Dr. John Grohol's daily update on all things in psychology and mental health. Since 1999. Fri, 25 May 2012 15:58:44 +0000 hourly 1 By: helper http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-710696 helper Mon, 16 May 2011 06:21:18 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/#comment-710696 Hi Aaminah! I would certainly recommend to take your son to a therapist. The therapist will help him in many ways!! Your son deserves to get help Hi Aaminah!

I would certainly recommend to take your son to a therapist. The therapist will help him in many ways!!
Your son deserves to get help

]]> By: Aaminah http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-706146 Aaminah Tue, 29 Mar 2011 13:57:42 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/#comment-706146 Hello, My son and I were under abuse, I went to therapy but he didn't because he was too little, now he is 9, he keeps having this problem with men, I mean every time a man yell he gets nervous and want to cry. What should I do? should I take him to therapy or what? thanks Hello,
My son and I were under abuse, I went to therapy but he didn’t because he was too little, now he is 9, he keeps having this problem with men, I mean every time a man yell he gets nervous and want to cry. What should I do?

should I take him to therapy or what?

thanks

]]> By: Lori Lee http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-628996 Lori Lee Sun, 28 Jun 2009 02:30:43 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/#comment-628996 Hello Evi, I am sorry to hear about your circumstances. I was a victim of "unhappy relationships for many years". I still can remember the confusing times of apology but at the same time it seemed like threats. I have been out of that scarry marriage for years now but it starts by understanding that this is the way they the man thinks what he should be doing according to his idea of Love. Causeing any kind of harm that requires stiches or words that make you feel any less loved than what GOD has declared in heaven is our gift from him is wrong. I come from an American/Asian Culture and my ex best freind was from Jakarta Indonesia, I miss her dearly but lost touch many years ago. She never left my mind and I still pray for her protection to this day. You are loved and no man's idea of control and ugly words or dumb things like only me is nothing more than something to make you stay. Wheither you go or stay it is up to you to deciede how much you believe that you are worth and not what some mortal tells you. AGE is not a factor when it is your life we are talking about. Do they have marriage counseling or anger-management that maybe a freind or phamplet would talk about and without you suggesting maybe he might consider going if he truly wants to make you happy and truly cares that he has hurt your heart and body in the past. I prayed for 10 years that GOD would change the other person and 10 years after but it has not happened because GOD can not change someone that likes the way they are. May the heaven's shine on you like they did me and may always know that anything other than light is not what GOD wants for you. Hello Evi,

I am sorry to hear about your circumstances. I was a victim of “unhappy relationships for many years”. I still can remember the confusing times of apology but at the same time it seemed like threats. I have been out of that scarry marriage for years now but it starts by understanding that this is the way they the man thinks what he should be doing according to his idea of Love. Causeing any kind of harm that requires stiches or words that make you feel any less loved than what GOD has declared in heaven is our gift from him is wrong. I come from an American/Asian Culture and my ex best freind was from Jakarta Indonesia, I miss her dearly but lost touch many years ago. She never left my mind and I still pray for her protection to this day. You are loved and no man’s idea of control and ugly words or dumb things like only me is nothing more than something to make you stay. Wheither you go or stay it is up to you to deciede how much you believe that you are worth and not what some mortal tells you. AGE is not a factor when it is your life we are talking about. Do they have marriage counseling or anger-management that maybe a freind or phamplet would talk about and without you suggesting maybe he might consider going if he truly wants to make you happy and truly cares that he has hurt your heart and body in the past. I prayed for 10 years that GOD would change the other person and 10 years after but it has not happened because GOD can not change someone that likes the way they are. May the heaven’s shine on you like they did me and may always know that anything other than light is not what GOD wants for you.

]]> By: lila brennan http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-628499 lila brennan Mon, 15 Jun 2009 00:07:27 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/#comment-628499 Evi, I sincerely hope you are out of that relationship now. No man should ever be able to tell you that you are worthless and have you believe it. No matter how embarrasing, you will still have your life. Now is the time to stop it all. Evi, I sincerely hope you are out of that relationship now. No man should ever be able to tell you that you are worthless and have you believe it. No matter how embarrasing, you will still have your life. Now is the time to stop it all.

]]> By: Evi http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-421837 Evi Fri, 15 Feb 2008 11:04:23 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/#comment-421837 My name is Evi. I am thirty years old.I am a teacher in an elementary school teacher. I live in Jakarta Indonesia. I am married (Thinking of having a divorce) to 28 year old jobless man. 3 weeks a go my husband hit me with a plate, and it caused an injury on my right hand. I got 5 stitches and it only started because of my 15 minutes lateness. He called me stupid with no brain, I said nothing. He told me that I was selling my self on the street, I said nothing. I finally spoke because I can't handle my husband's swearing and telling bad words. He threw a ceramic plate and it broke right on top of my hand. He blamed me for saying things to him. He blame me for I couldn't stop talking. I asked for divorce. But why does it still hurts a lot with the fact that I am going to be a divorcee (Since being a divorced woman in Indonesia is embarassing). I was afraid that nobody will marry me, since my husband always tells me that he was the kindest man ever because he was willing to marry an ugly fat woma like me. Please help My name is Evi. I am thirty years old.I am a teacher in an elementary school teacher. I live in Jakarta Indonesia. I am married (Thinking of having a divorce) to 28 year old jobless man.

3 weeks a go my husband hit me with a plate, and it caused an injury on my right hand. I got 5 stitches and it only started because of my 15 minutes lateness.

He called me stupid with no brain, I said nothing.
He told me that I was selling my self on the street, I said nothing.

I finally spoke because I can’t handle my husband’s swearing and telling bad words.

He threw a ceramic plate and it broke right on top of my hand.

He blamed me for saying things to him. He blame me for I couldn’t stop talking.

I asked for divorce. But why does it still hurts a lot with the fact that I am going to be a divorcee (Since being a divorced woman in Indonesia is embarassing). I was afraid that nobody will marry me, since my husband always tells me that he was the kindest man ever because he was willing to marry an ugly fat woma like me.

Please help

]]> By: GregRogers http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-199239 GregRogers Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:20:44 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/#comment-199239 Sorry, That is: Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT). Sorry,

That is: Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT).

]]> By: GregRogers http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-199238 GregRogers Mon, 30 Apr 2007 17:14:59 +0000 http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/04/29/therapy-after-domestic-violence/#comment-199238 Definitely and under-served group. One particular large clinical trial of a therapy model called Integrated Couples Behavioral Therapy (ICBT)screened couples who admitted to domestic violence out of their sampled group. By doing so, it would seem like they also screened out a major proportion of the folks who need therapy. This is the world of "science" in which therapy is trying to survive. Definitely and under-served group. One particular large clinical trial of a therapy model called Integrated Couples Behavioral Therapy (ICBT)screened couples who admitted to domestic violence out of their sampled group. By doing so, it would seem like they also screened out a major proportion of the folks who need therapy. This is the world of “science” in which therapy is trying to survive.

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