There is a lengthy thread about spanking in PsychCentral’s Forums (started by me). The thread is titled “Childhood spanking and sexual development” and is in the Sex & Gender issues forum. It discusses some other possible negative effects of spanking.

Thanks, Sidony

I am from china. I pay more attention to it, because I am a very girl who have grown up in a family full of violence. My father like drinking, he always beated me after he was drunken. Therefore, you can imagine it, now there are some serious problems with me. Now I am years old, but I have suicide two times. In addition, I have strong intendacy to abuse myself to relieve tension, and I hate myself so much.
However, I am studing psychology now, I hope it can help me.

It saddens me everytime I read or hear opinions that even question the fact that children under no circumstances should ever be hit. You shouldn’t need any scientific evidence to be sure of this. Human intuition and emotional attachment to your child should be enough to “know” this. If the parent lacks this, individual therapeutic work is the way out of it, since the cause of it all lies, in my opinion, in behaviors, thought- and emotional patterns established during the parents own childhood.

SL-PH.D, you and many others seem to have a view of the child as some wild creature that needs to be tamed. If you as a parent respect the child in the same way as you would respect an adult and try to understand he or she, promoting democracy instead of autocracy, you will end up with a wonderful person that wants to cooperate and be nice to other people. Not because of a fear for verbal or physical punishments but because he or she truly want this.

I am from Sweden and I’m honestly proud of our law against spanking and that we have been leaders in the devolopment towards a more humane treatment of children. But at the same time we, and others, have a long way to go. As the article mentions, verbal abuse can be equally damaging as spanking. Emotionally detached and distant parents can have terrible effects on the childs wellbeing. But you can’t legislate against this. But you can when it comes to spanking. And the argument that the article mentions that a law would drive spanking “underground” seems, at least from where I’m coming from, strange. Coupled with parent training programs it is bound to reduce spanking, making it less socially acceptable.

I’m opposed to spanking and all form of physical punishment as discipline. I do not believe that the opposite of spanking is permissiveness. I believe there are other ways to discipline which don’t teach that physically overpowering someone is necessary in life. I’m also opposed to spanking because of my own past: I attended a school which practiced corporal punishment on children who were as old as 10 years and even older! Unfortunately being exposed to something like that during the early years of my sexual development was damaging to me, and I became one of those adults who thought of corporal punishment as something sexual. There are many adults like that! All sorts of spanking implements are sold in sex shops everywhere in the U.S., yet people deny that it has anything to do with childhood discipline practices. It has everything to do with that. Although I think MOST children will still develop normally, it’s a risk not worth running and there are better ways to teach. Saying that fear of physical punishment is the only thing that will coerce a child to behave appropriately is the same as saying that fear of hell is the only thing that will cause adults not to commit acts of violence (it’s an insult to all ethical adults whose morals are independent of fear of punishment).

Thanks, Sidony

SL-PH.D.

My apologies!!! I did not mean to sound like I was saying or implying anything about YOU! I was talking about ME. Those were MY experiences. I’m opposed to corporal punishment because it had negative effects on ME and my development into an adult (which caused problems for me as an adult). And I realize my experiences offend people, so I should have put warning signs on that post because it’s a sensitive subject. I know the school never intended me any harm at all, but it did still have negative consequences so I oppose it.

Again, my apologies if it sounded like an attack. It was not directed to you but as a comment to this blog. I intended to share the basis for my opinion since it’s one that’s less known and discussed (or at least less discussed).

Sidony

Many articles on the topic I mentioned are published here (warning: this will be offensive to anyone sensitive to topics of sexuality or corporal punishment):

http://nospank.net/101.htm

I should have also said the link would be offensive to anyone sensitive to the topic of abuse or sexual abuse!

I think no one intends any harm by spanking (except for a few abuse cases out there [warning: those cases ARE talked about on that website]). But I post the link because the essays on the right side talk about some unintended negative consequences (includes stories from people who had problems in their adult life as a result).

I disagree with SD-PhD’s 6 crticisms. I do not believe that using physical pain an violence can ever be a positive expereince for chldren or that a child can feel truly “comforted and secure” after being spanked by those who are set out to protect them. I believe spanking is a lazy and disrespectful behaviour on the part of parents who have not taken them time to create a helthier envoronment for thier kids.

Well, being beaten by a drunk father or being sexually abused are obviously wrong and hurtful.But these things are quite different from the average spanking.Every friend i have who was spanked as a child for a punishment,doesn’t complain about it and agrees that they’ll do it to their children. I was spanked when I did wrong as a child, and I’m perfectly fine now.

Kids can love the parents who abuse them, and cling to them despite repeated abuse because that is all they know. So to say that a child that has been spanked can’t then be comforted by the spanking parent is complete crap and thus is not a valid point. I am in the middle in the spanking debate. I know from personal exp that it is helpful in moderation and in a loving home but I know that parents spank in anger which should never be done. Beating a child should never be done. But from what I have seen the method of discipline doesn’t matter as much as that is applied in a consistant manner when called for and that it is balanced out with a system of rewards and lots of love. Disciplining a child is never a fun thing to do. Parents don’t want to spank even if they defend it’s use. Different kids respond to different things and if you happen to have a kid who responds well to being spanked as opposed to being put in time out or having a toy taken away then that parent doing what is best for their child should use the methods that work.

It is a complete joke that we frown on some methods of discipline but not others that can be just as damaging.

SL-PH.D.
When you mention your child’s aggressive behaviour, I am assuming he was physical, hitting, punching, kicking and the like.

It is interesting to me that you taught your child not to hit by hitting him.

Do as I say, not as I do.

I just have one question for the psychologist! Do you have children? It seems to me by many of your opinions that you do not, and I promise you that what you think is the correct way to discipline your child before you actually have one, will change drastically when he/she turns 3! Thus, I have had this debate with many friends. Before they had children, they said they would never spank and always use positive reinforcement. Now that they have children, they all spank when necessary. Unfortunately, you can in no way reason with a 3 year old or many other children!