At this time of the year, everyone (including us!) rolls out tips on how to keep your New Year’s resolutions. And every year, few people seriously keep them longer than a few days or weeks.
Enter the The Washington Post’s Anita Huslin, who has an interesting article about how habits are not so easily undone by a simple resolution:
Until people recognize the underlying triggers that led them to the unhealthy habits in the first place, all of the motivating messages in the world will fail, behavioral experts suggest. But getting in touch with the catalysts for their bad habits can unleash powerful forces for change.
It’s not just a matter of willpower, any more than undoing depression or bipolar disorder is. And so it’s no wonder most people fail in keeping their New Year’s resolutions. You can’t just say, “I’m going to stop doing this thing I’ve been doing for the past 10 years.” Human behavior doesn’t work that way — if it did, there’d be little need for therapists.
So change can come, but it takes more hard work and effort than I think most people realize. This article lays out the groundwork for understanding the complexities involved in this process. If you’re serious about change, it’s an article worth your time.
Read the article: Are You Really Ready To Clean Up Your Act?
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One Comment to
“Are You Really Ready To Clean Up Your Act?”
As you might expect, I disagree with the concept that there is some magical element underlying our inability to make good choices for ourselves. Or if there is is something underlying that inability it is this:
We are taught, often by psychologists, to ‘get in touch with our feelings’. But feelings are not the best basis on which to make decisions about our lives. Certainly, if there are consistent problems, such as depression, some sort of treatment may be in order.
But when it comes to making decisions about what we eat, whether or not to exercise, or whether or not to meditate, we cannot depend on our feelings to motivate ongoing behavior. Feelings change. Sometimes I feel like doing a particular thing, sometimes I don’t. But I know that doing what I feel like doing is probably not in my best interests.
This is where a cognitive “letting go” of emotions comes in. I feel sad, so I don’t feel like exercising. But how I feel does not dictate what I do. I can choose to exercise anyway. Realizing that I do not have to allow my feelings to dictate my actions is an important part of living the life I choose to live, rather than the life I ‘feel like living’ at any particular moment.
Another way to put it is that doing things that we value, despite how we feel in a particular moment, is part of being an adult. If you’re planning on waiting until you ‘feel like’ not eating too much, or ‘feel like’ exercising, or ‘feel like’ meditating, I wish you luck. You may be waiting a long time.
Greg R
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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 Jan 2007
