World of Psychology

Our Dying Cat

By John M Grohol PsyD
October 13, 2006

People will sometimes make fun of those who treat pets as a part of their family, as closely loved as any child.

Yet, the loss of a pet is a very real tragedy in most people’s lives, especially if the pet was a constant, faithful companion to them through a difficult period.

One of our cats, an 11-year-old Calico named Cali, is nearing the end of her life. Struck with chronic renal failure two years ago, we’ve been caring for her everyday with subcutaneous fluids therapy, the most common management of this disease. Unfortunately, in the past week, she took a turn for the worse and lost half her already thinning weight.

Cali is a part of our family, as much as any child or anyone else ever could be. Although I’ve only known her for 4 years, I know how much she has meant and been there for my wife during all of Cali’s life. Losing her is hard, and yet we’re coming to the time where we need to let her go. Just as you know when it’s time to say goodbye to a family member who’s been hospitalized, but is degrading, it’s the same with Cali.

Cali is an indoor cat, but we often let her go outside under watchful supervision. She likes to sit in the sun on our front porch, or feel the grass in her whiskers in the front yard. Today we took her outside to sit in the warm fall sun, while the dying fall leaves whirled around her. A gentle breeze ruffled her fur, and a butterfly fluttered through our last moments with her.

I sit here knowing that any minute, we’ll have to go to the vet to bring her to a peaceful end. My wife is upstairs, with Cali sleeping on her lap.

I don’t want to tell her it’s time.

I don’t want to say goodbye to our Cali.


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57 Comments to
“Our Dying Cat”

I am sorry to hear that your cat will be leaving you soon. Our 18 year old cat passed away this week. Our 20 year old son doesn’t remember a time before Butterface. He is currently in South Africa serving as a Mormon Missionary. The cat wrote him a nice letter about how much better she feels now and how nice it is to be with her mother and family again. Best wishes.

I appreciate your pain! I have two little “girls” of my own. I had to put my last cat to sleep 5 years ago due to breast cancer. Thankfully my vet was willing to graciously come to my home to do that! It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I couldn’t stand the lonliness when she was gone…although I knew another one couldn’t replace or take her place! BUT I needed the loyal companionshp again…so I went out and adopted two little yellow tabbies (sisters). They are totally different than Bright Eyes was but have totally worked their way into my heart. Remember the blessings God gives us with these little critters and I’ll be glad to say a prayer for you in your loss! Take care.

We recently lost our twelve-year-old cat to cancer. We made every attempt to save him, and would gladly have paid any amount of money if it would extend his life. The loss in our lives is huge, but it cannot compare to the loss of a human member of the family. The statement that a cat is as much a member of the family as any child is an overstatement. As a former pediatric oncology nurse, I can assure you that the absolute hell that parents losing a child go through cannot be compared to the loss of a pet.

No matter why or when a Pet dies, the people who share its life experience grief. Such a personal loss! This period is full of conflicting feelings and thoughts, I know. Making final plans, trying to decide when to end their pain, and how to memorialize them are very difficult thoughts.

I’m sorry this ever has to happen. The perfect pet would never have to leave us. (((hugs)))

I’m really sorry about Cali. Our cats are closer than family to us. I know what a hard decision it is to make, having had to do so myself. My heart goes out to you, your wife, and of course Cali.

Thank you all…

We took her into the vet on Friday. It was one of the most painful things I’ve ever had to do (my cats have either died a natural death of old age, or tragic death, by auto accident). My wife is worse, however, as she was the one who was very close to her. Losing someone close to you is certainly one of the hardest things we face in this life. And not just once, but over and over again.

I don’t know how this gets any easier. I really don’t.

I’m so very sorry for the loss of such a long-time and faithful friend.

I have shared, and can understand, the extreme pain in the actions that we, as pet owners, have to make at times.

You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers through this time.

KD

You wrote, “Today we took her outside to sit in the warm fall sun, while the dying fall leaves whirled around her. A gentle breeze ruffled her fur, and a butterfly fluttered through our last moments with her.”

So tender and beautiful . . . I cried a few tears. I know it’s hard. I lost my kitty cat, Pouncer, 15 yrs old. My counselor told me you honour your pet by adopting another pet to love. (((((Dr Grohol family))))

I am so sorry for the loss that you and your wife are having to deal with right now…. I lost my precious little Chihuahua P.J. just a few weeks back and I remember how hard it was on me, and still is at times - I often wake up looking for her to be at my bed side or to see her waiting for me on the rug in the bathroom after my shower.

Please be gentle with your self as you morn and know that there are many others that understand.

Dear Dr. Grober,

I’m facing the same situation with my 19-year-old calico, Butterfly. My prayers are with you. You did the right thing. I hope I’ll have the discernment to recognize when Butterfly’s time comes. Bless you, your wife, and Cali.

I had to have my cat put to sleep this summer after a month of taking intensive care for him. His kidney’s and heart were failing and when he got trouble breathing and was obviously in agony the vet came to my house for the euthanasia.

In my life I’ve had to let go of several animals. The ones I grew up with when they were old and one I had as an adult. Each time I felt sorry and a bit miserable for a while, but actually it was more ‘getting used’ to the animal not being around anymore than grief.

This time it was different. It felt like a child had died. My little boy. I couldn’t stop crying and felt it was the worst thing that had happened to me in a very long time, reminding me of my father’s death, twelve years ago. This was grief, very intense and very real.

It was very painful to experience the reactions of friends and family who didn’t understand my feelings. Some got almost angry with me for not getting a grip on myself!

He was indeed a member of my family and had been with me for fourteen years. I’m glad I didn’t have a job at the time for I couldn’t have dragged myself there and pretend to be functioning normally. Crying at the workplace over a dead cat? Explaining to collegues?

Oh, Wow, I know that I may be young but I know what it’s like to lose a pet, putting them down is the hardest thing you can do because you want to be with them, even when they are giving that shot, the one that will end your friends short life. Please, all who read this, understand the pain of losing a friend, animal or not.

Spike,(a gray housecat) who is 21 yrs old and was found in an empty field 20+ yrs ago where he had been dumped with his siblings, is dying…he’s losing his fur, he smells because he no longer grooms himself and his breath would peel paint off the wall (the vet says its just tarter); yesterday he stopped eating any solids…he will eat a bit of raw egg or lap a few spoonfuls of milk, but that is all…he does not seem to be in pain, but he’s losing weight and it just breaks my heart. last year we lost betty the basset hound at the ripe old age of 15….she is buried under the dogwood tree in the front yard and i guess spike will be buried next to her….if the ground is warm enough to dig a hole at the necessary time…if not, i guess the vet’s will dispose of him….this is so difficult…..

I am very sorry for everybody who has lost their cats. Right now i face a horrible situation with my cat tiffy 17 years old always healthy until 2 weeks ago. she eat very less and drunk little lost 2 pf in one week. I took her to the vet he can/t find anything……may a bladder infection.
she takes now medication, still not eating but drinking….i believe she is ready to go…..that hurts i thought she is with us for ever. i start crying now. May she is getting better but i feel someting what she likes to tell me…….leave me alone my time is coming i have to go.
dont know yet how to deal with it we love her so much.

Chloe, my calico cat is nearing the end of her life. Just last week, her already failing eyesight seemed to go completely. I think she has breast cancer. She stopped eating and drinking water three days ago. She does not appear to be in any pain. When I set her down on the floor she bounces off the walls and gets stuck in corners. She is very weak and has difficulty getting up on all four legs. She seems happy to just be in my lap with me petting her under her chin. I just can’t bring myself to take her to the vet to have her put down.

kate,

i can understand how you are feeling how is it now? A desicion like that is very painfull….

my tiffy is complete recoverd….thanks god,in that situation i realized, that she will not live for ever…we are thankfull for every day she is still with us

tina

We adopted two beautiful Manx cats last year, brothers, one long hair called fluffy monster and a short hair with no tail we called handsome fella, I had to have handsome put down at the weekend, he had a tumour in his stomach that spread to his lungs, I could not believe how fast he went downhill, within two weeks, I thought he may have just had a chest infection when I noticed him breathing deeply, so I took him to the vets, and when we went back I was so upset when we found out he was dying, I stayed with him talking to him all the time until he died, the pain is horrible.
I don’t know what to do for the best with his brother who is so sad, he is looking for him around the house and is very clingy to us, what do I do? do I get another kitten for him or would he be better with us on his own?

A pet’s passing reminds us that life is really precious and to never take life or health for granted. My cat, Ella was to turn 16 next week, but in matter of only 4 days (while we were away for the weekend) her sitter reported that she became very very weak, stopped eating and hid downstairs. We returned last night to find that she was almost lifeless, eyes open and was not even blinking. I thought she died just moments after finding her, but while stroking her and putting my ear to her heart could her a faint heartbeat and to my surprise a very faint purr… I really think that she waited to see me before letting go. We rushed her to the vet but I suspect the whole ordeal stressed her out and she was too weak to hang on. In retrospect, I wished I had kept her at home so that she could have kept her dignity and continued to give her all my love until she passed. I will focus on the 16 years of joy that she gave me and all of the special moments we shared. Has this quick turning happened to anyonee else’s cat? She seemed herself 5 days ago and the sitter said she was fine over the weekend…looking back she had lost some weight and had chosen a few odd places to rest, but no overt clinical signs of illness…

shelley,

i am very sorry about the loss……..that must be very painfull after 16 years. I feel with you.

When cats stop eating and drinking that is very dangerous and can result in a liver failure very quick even when something else is the reason why they don’ t eat.

hi, your story was so touching to me. about 8 years ago a litter or persians were born. a man named verlin harvey and his wife were given first choice of 2. they decided to take the first 2 that approached them. one of the females approached verlin and a male approached his wife. the male was the color of champagne so that is was they named him they named the female treasure because that’s what she was. later in life verlins wife passed away. he later met my mom(of all places at the dentist while she was cleaning his teeth). my mom and dad had divorced and i was quite worried about her because this was the first man that she dated and now he was not there for her anymore. at the same time i met my wife. i was so confused at the time because i wanted to be committed to the woman that is now my wife, but i did not want to leave my mom alone, but i did what i had to do. that is about the time verlin came along and rescued her like a knight in shining armor(and that is what he will always be to me). a couple of years ago he passed away from something called Lewy body dementia it is a combo of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. my mom dedicated the 3 years of her life that it took for him to pass, never left the house and did the things that hospice would have done if she could not have dedicated 24/7 of her life to him. once he passed away it was difficult for her to keep champagne and treasure, so she asked me and my wife to keep them. we have fallen so in love with them, and i was the type that always thought that cats were dirty smelly animals and would never have thought that i would have one. but now i am so in love with them. they are about 8 years old now and treasure seems kind of weak, like she is drunk when she walks or something. i read your story and i am wondering if she maybe is about to pass away, as your cat in the story. i cannot bare to think of loosing her, she is so precious to me, so innocent and so loving. she cries out to me to pick her up on my shoulder when i get home and and she snuggles up to me like i am her knight in shining armor, like her father verlin was to my mom. they were never outside cats until they came to live with us, but we have such a large piece of property we do not have to worry about them getting taken or run over by someone. and i say all the time, that since they are in their last years, i could never take the outdoors away from them, they just love it so much, they stay out there all day after they get their treats and love from me and my wife.(and now even when it is raining slightly!!! and they hate water!)i was doing some searches in google for her symptoms to see if i can figure out what is wrong, i was hoping it was just worms or something but when i came across this story it really hit me hard and made me realize that, yes, they are in their last years. but the reality of this hit me so hard that i am just going to take them to the vet and not mess around any more trying to figure it out myself. i hope it turns out to be something minor, but i just wanted to share my story with you because your’s is so very touching to me, and the way you wrote it, you are so talented with words.

i lost my baby tiddles 5 days ago, i found her dead on the kitchen floor, she was nearly 17, i loved her so so much, i believe that people should not have annimals if they dont acknowledge their existence, whats the point? iv got no regrets about my tiddles, she was well loved and looked after, she could not have had a better life, so you know ur baby will leave you having been treated extra special, you have done ur job well, an ur cat knows it x

My cat CHAT is dying right now. I rescued him 7 years ago after someone abandoned him. He had no claws and was attacked when I found him. He lost 5 pounds in the last year and started to cough and choking. I had blood tests done that ruled out diabetes, lukemia and hyerthyroidism. I have been giving him vet perscribed medicine and today when i gave im his medicine he mae a horrible scream and went unconcious. He later came about and walked a little but has not interest in eating. I now have him in a cardboard box lined with my old fluffy soft pajamas. He is motionless but still looks up a little.
The reason why we feel the way we do about our pets is because they are honest, they do not lie or deiceive, do not steal and they accept us for who we are. I can not say the same for many of the so-called humans. Especially for those that just dump these beings like garbage.

His name is CHAT-He is and will always be my number one Cat!

Oh gosh my beautiful Missy is dying right in front of me, and I don’t think I can handle it. It’s soo hard!! My family got her when I was like 6 and I’m 20 now. She has slept in my bed with me every single night. She came when I called her name, and just sudden in the past few days she wouldn’t. She’s been sleeping in odd places and has lost alot of weight, not eating/drinking. She just got real bad tonight and because it was Christmas day plus too late at night we couldn’t take her anywhere. So we just said we’d take her to the vet tmrw morning. It just sucks I can’t do anything… but wait I guess… it’s terrible… She’s supposed to live forever! We just didn’t know she would pass like this- so soon. We didn’t even know anything was really wrong. My luck I got on the internet typed in her symptoms and came across a story about a man’s cat’s death and the symptoms of him. uhhh exact, the whole process. I’m soooo sad. I woke my mom up just balling because Missy’s breaths are so short and I think this is her last night. I hate just knowing that some day something/someone you love sooo much has to leave you one day. I grieve for everyone who goes through this, because it’s terrible.

Vet said my cat Chat(aoubt 10 years old) has cancer after tests and ultrasound and they can do nothing. I lost my young sister 10 years ago from cancer and now we all know cancer can be cured in 90% of the cases using cesium chloride, hydrazine sulfate or even sodium bicarbonate to neutralize pH and oxidate the cancer cells to death. I started Chat on Cesium chloride today he is down to 7 of his original 13 lbs of a year ago. These are readily avaialable dietary additives you mix in with the food. Google and see they CURE cancer. Wish Chat luck. I wish you the best with Missy. Do not give up on her.

Today, 12/31/07, I just put down my dear orange tabby rusty. I am 22 and have had him since I was 10. He was so great and I loved him SO much! This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make and I am still a wreck. I hope this passes soon. He is at peace now, but not on my lap where he belongs.

My beloved cat CHAT died Thursday January 3 at 6:00:15 AM. I was up with him for the last 16 hours talking to him and petting him. He could no longer move. Into the night I knew it was his last day with me. I said all the words to him he liked to hear and massaged his paws, chin and face. I hoped to take him to the vet in the morning but that was not to be. His breathing became weak and then it stopped but his heart kept beating for another 18 minutes. I put him in a cardboard coffin and filled it with white freshly shredded new paper. I placed his toys in along with my good-bye note. I left him out to be viewed by my other two cats. At 12 noon I buried him in the grave dug a week ago in the front yard at the spot he loved to sunbath in every afternoon. I am making a grave stone for him- I and my wife have cried a few times already. The other cats are too in mourning and miss him.

Goodye CHAT “our number one cat” Thank for all the joy and laugter…….

well my above story is a little wrong, the cats are 14 years old. what i found out about the cat “treasure” i had let her outside and she got fleas really bad and became anemic and her blood count was down to 12, they gave her a blood transfusion and tested her for several weeks after that and her blood count went up to 30, but after 2 weeks it was still at 30 and the vet said it should be 40. i have read that 30 is ok for cats, that it varies alot. the vet said they would like to test further about the cats bone marrow and if she was producing red blood cells, but i could not put her through more and was wondering if the vet was just trying to get more money out of us. now almost 2 months later it kinda looks like she is getting weak again and am considering taking her to another vet, but she has not lost weight and still eats good so i am thinking she is ok, but i need to be sure, so i am going to take her through one more traumatic experience just so i can be sure. the blood transfusion and follow up visits and medecines were over $500.00 before but it was worth it, i just hope she is ok. i hope she did not develope further problems from the flea problem that i let her get into.

I feel for all of you. 11 years ago, we adopted 2 cat buddies - Rascal a brown tabby born 1988 & Menace a calico born 1991. Rascal lost a lot of weight, was diagnosed with a begnign thyroid tumour but unfortunately the tumour got so big it blocked his esophagus. When he began water seeking & unable to swallow, we called our vet who makes house calls. She put Rascal to sleep. It was the 1st day of March Break 2005 - had me, my mother-in-law & 5 kids all bawling here! Now poor old Menace is dying. Like Rascal, she is just shy of her 17th birthday. Menace has been going deaf for some time. Maybe 6 weeks ago, we noticed her eyes looked ‘odd’ & now she seems to have gone suddenly blind - getting ‘lost’ in corners of her once familiar laundry room. She eats only a little bit. Pees a little. Pooped once in 3 days & it looked bloody. She is sleeping a lot & seems ‘floppy’. I don’t think she is in any pain - yet - but I am on the look out for that. I am so glad we have a wonderful, caring vet who will come to the house when we need her. Hugs to all of you & your kiities.

Hi all, Update: Poor old Menace passed away at 7:15 this morning.

Lance, you need to keep your kitties indoors, hard to do once they have been outdoors, but there is all sorts of nasty stuff out there for kitties to get into that will hurt them, and they can contact diseases from other cats. If they have fleas, try Advantage spot on flea products, they work great and if they stay indoors, only 2-3 months applications are enough to kill all the fleas.
My best to your cats, it is so hard to lose them, and for those who don’t think the hurt is the same as losing a human family member, I am sorry for you, because you have never experienced the full bonding and love that a cat or dog can give to you–they are your friends thru good and bad for years, and it is just a terrible thing to lose them. Give yourselves a period of mourning, and then go out and get another kitty, but don’t expect it to be the same as your former kitty, each one is an individual and can provide a unique loving experience! Too many animals need a good home out there, so, try another one, you will love it!

Wednesday this week 7.15 pm our 17.5 year old cat tiffy went to sleep. We got her as a 6 week old kitten and she was soooo special in any way. It is hard to be without her.

Fortuanly, she went still with a shiny thick fur, not that weak, proud, and sill “fighting” at the vet before she left us.

After thinking she had a very bad cold for few week, the x rays showed after all she had a tumor on her lounge.She was always a very healthy cat her whole life and that was the way she wanted to go. We understood and relieved her early enough without to much suffering.

We could have kept her alive for a while longer but that would be only for us and not
for her. It hurts soo much but we know we did the right thing.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. They have been very helpful to me in my grief.

Today is a very hard day for my husband and I.
We will be having our 18 year old kitty, Squirt, put down. Fortunately, we have a very caring country vet who will come to our home, so her final moments are not in trauma & stress at the vet’s office.

She has been a dear loving friend, giving of herself and her love for many years. She has slept by my head nearly every night. She has meant as much to me as any human friend I have ever had & has been a loving & supportive companion to us through some the most difficult times in our lives.

Seeing her like this is devastating.We will miss her terribly. I have been very depressed since last week when we found out that she was in renal failure. Things went downhill for Squirt VERY quickly. She became wobbly, was drinking water constantly, and her appetite has diminished greatly. She is having a hard time making it to the litterbox, and is just not well anymore.

We have administered some sub-cutaneous fluids, so she could be comfortable until her time came, but we do not feel this is a humane way for her to continue living. We have done our best to make her comfortable, give her her favorite foods, and give her loads of love in these final days. I really believe she knows that her time has come, and that euthanasia is a true act of mercy for her.

Thanks again to all of you for sharing your stories…it has really helped. Best wishes to you all.

I just but my cat Thumper to sleep yesterday he was 9 year and big part of our family. He was diagnosed 2 1/2 weeks with tounge cancer, his tounge was 4 times bigger then what it should be.The Vet wanted me to leave him that day but I could not do it. I tryed to help him any which way. I sat with him any comfort him when his mouth was bleeding cleaned him. But yesterday his mouth just kept bleeding every 1/2 hr and he just looked at me with his sad eyes like he was telling me to let him go. We made the decision to let him go but it is really hard for me he was my friend and always greeted me and would sleep with us. I am just so upset and keep asking me if I did the right thing. how to do get over the grief. I do have another cat she grew up with thumper we had both of them for 9 years since they were 5 weeks old. Will the pain go away??

this is tina, we lost our tiffy (tabby) several weeks ago after 17,5 years.Me and my husband adopted another cat 3 days later from a shelter, different breed and gender. We just took a look in several shelters and in the last one he came along……….siamese, male, 3 years old

He is helping a lot to fill the emptiness in our house and against my depression i had.

Tiffy will never forgotten but our new “little man” is a joy and in his way already very special too.

It was very fast to get another cat but there are many out there who need new homes and the pain inside about the loss of tiffy is still there, but also joy with our new boy.

Hello to all, I feel for all who have lost or are enduring pain of loosing a cat. I have a long haired black cat (lots of grey now) that i have had for just over 16 years now, got her from humane society in 1992. She has always been there for me and is now regressing in most areas, not eating, but drinks lots. she still enjoys the liquid fron canned tuna (her favorite) she don’t react to me like she used too, she has her little bed that she occupies almost constantly, and very thin from not eating. this seems to have come about over the last few weeks. i know she is dying but she don’t seem to be in pain. Should i let her dye at home or be put to sleep in a vets office? I am hurting deeply, but she has brought me years of faithfulness and companionship, how do i make her last days the best i can. I’ve treated her very well over her life and want to give back to her in her time of need.

hi bill,

i feel very sorry and know how you must feel.
We lost our cat after almost 18 years. i wrote before you the last time in this forum here.
Please do not let her suffer, she does not deserve that. Go to a vet and find out what she has that is important …..so you can make a desicion. Our cat had cancer and we put her to sleep soon after we found out, even though she was not that bad at that point and we could kept her alive longer, we decided to put her to sleep and not to keep her alive only for us. It was very hard believe me, but we did the right thing i know that. Please go to a vet.

I feel for you as I type this my 15 year old cat Muffy is lying in my bedroom beside the heater on her way out. She can’t stand or sit can’t drink or eat. All I know is that it will be really hard soon becase we also have a 21 year old cat. I dont want them to go!

I am in a depressed mood, becuase my cat Icecream (a boy and about 17 years old) has complete kidney failure. I am so devestated! He cannot eat anything, and he doesn’t drink vvery much. I know that I need to put him to sleep, but I don’t think that I can bare it. He cannot walk, and he has trouble going to the bathroom. He is going blind too. I can’t stand hearing him mew in pain, so I am going to put him out of his misery tomorrow… I don’t think that I will be able to handle it. He has been in my family forever, and he was my companion ever since I was a little toddler. I cherish him and the times we have had together.

I love you, Icecream.

I feel for everyone who has lost, or is losing their kitty. I know that it is killing me. Animals are te most understanding, caring beings, and they forgive and except you. Icecream was my lifelong friend, and I will never forget him.

I am watching my dear friend, Kelly, pass away and it is so painful. He is 18 years old and has never been sick in his life. He is an Orange Maine Coon, a gentle giant. Very timid with everyone but me. He spent the majority of his 18 years in my bedroom closet, but these last two years made a turn around and would come out and sit on the back of my living room chair. He must have known that his condition was changing, he knows that I am basically afraid of dead things and was worried about how to get him from under the bed. Sunday night he came out and tapped my leg, staggered to the bathroom and layed down on the rug. I thought he was dying then, it is now Tuesday and he is still hanging in there. If I call his name, or say “what a pretty kitty” he holds his head up and meows. He doesn’t seem to be in any pain, but my heart is breaking. The problem is I have neither the money or the nerve to have him put to sleep. I am just trying to keep him comfortable. I just lost my Sister a couple of months ago, now I am losing Kelly. My sadness is overwhelming. I don’t know what to do. Just had to vent

I am sitting here reading all of these posts about people who are miserable from losing their precious pets. I am going through the same thing.
My 10 year old Siamese name Tae-Bo is dying. She has lost half of her body weight…will not eat one thing on her own. I am force feeding her but most of that she will spit out. This is literally killing me. My heart is hurt so bad. I am crying now as I type this. She has cancer. I don’t know if she is in pain or not…..I love my pets more than many people. People could learn so much from their pets. God bless all of you that have been through this pain.
I am literally dying with this pain…
Thank you for listening…
Shirley

My precious cat Tae-bo just died.
I am glad that her suffering is over with.
I will miss her so much. She was loved very much…
Shirley

LISA is on CRACK, I don’t care if she IS a Nurse or a Garbage Man….to SOME of us (and I have children)my Cats are my ONE TRUE THING. My children are not perfect, my Cat IS. My cat is ALWAYS there, ALWAYS Loyal, ALWAYS CONSTANT and never leaves me, betrays me, or lies to me. Cats are so far above people and no one could convince ME that losing a Child would be any More Painful than losing a cat who has been in my life as long as it took to raise my kids…the cat’s still here, and I dread her loss more than anything in this world, more than than the loss of any HUMAN. Speak for yourself.

Reading all these posts over the last 2 years does not take away the pain, but at least it lets me know that I am not alone. I had to put my Felix down yesterday. After many health problems (diabetes, HCM, blood clot resulting in front leg amputation), he fractured his hip last week. At first he seemed relatively unaffected and not in alot of pain. But the biopsy revealed an agressive cancer of the bone. After I got the results, I had to watch for a day (waiting for the vet to come to my home) while he slipped further away. Two days ago, he went really stiff when I moved him from one blanket to another, taking no food or water. I have just learned that cats do purr when they are distressed and DYING. I did not know this, and took it to mean that he was glad to have me there stroking and talking to him. The vet mercifully ended his pain in a matter of seconds. I know that at some point I won’t feel so terribly sad, but at present all I can think about is how much my husband I miss him!
Thanks to all of you who have posted their intimate thoughts here.

My thoughts are with all of you who have lost a precious baby. I have rescued and cared for many cats. I have loved them all and when the time came to end their suffering, I did so. It was so very hard each time. Just last October I had to say good-bye to my beloved Ahjie (she as 21 1/2 years old)and at times I felt she was attached to my hip…I know she was attached to my heart. It was such a hard decision, loving her and caring for her for over 21 years…but I know in my heart it was the best for her. I take comfort in knowing that I would not trade all my tears and sadness to not have known the love and devotion of all my pets that I have had to ‘let go’!
I am still blessed to be able to share my home with four furry felines from ages 3 months to 15 years.
May you all find comfort in knowing that you gave love and care and received so much more in return.
What greater gift can you give then to relieve the suffering and let them rest!
I write this in memory of Rainbow, Chaundar, Sprout, Boomer, Jasper, Peepers and Ahjie who gave me so much love and companionship!

I bookmarked this blog post in a frantic search of feline kidney failure after my beloved cat Sapphire passed away at age 13 on 12/18/2008 but did not gather enough strength to express until now.

Reading all these intimate thoughts here about beloved pets helped me a lot although I am still heart broken and not quite sure how to deal with the sorrow.

I’m grateful to this very special Himalayan kitty Sapphire whom ‘rescued’ me seven years ago and hope one day I will be able to extend the love again to other animals in need.

My cat is 17 he is having trouble breathing but hates going in the car to the vets in all his years he has been 3 times. People have told me to let him die naturally, he’s still eating and drinking a little but he cannot walk very well, I am in turmoil what should I do?

Our cat for almost 17 yrs passed away this evening… he was our first baby when we got married … Clint had been a wonderful companion, loving pet I will ever know. I cannot stop crying … I miss him so much already … We tried saving him but his kidney, for the 5th time just won’t hold him any longer. So we said - see you later - in kitty heaven … Clint cuddled with us last night for the last time … I love you my dear Clint. Always … mommy

Two weeks ago our beautiful cat of 16 years refused her much loved treat of tuna. That was the beginning of what we realized what the start of her dying process. Her vet believed she had many tumors based on xrays. While she refused food she took water regularly and used the litter box well. She became weaker and weaker. We took her to the vet a couple of days ago, ready to let her go but as she looked up, walked around, we agreed with the vet to delay and see if there might be a turnaround. She even gave us some soft food that she began eating. Last night she sunk lower, and when I picked her up she was totally totally limp. I believe this was her sinking one step closer to death. She could still get off my lap, jump to the floor and move under a favorite chair or table. As she moved under a smaller table, where there is total darkness, we thought she was seeking her place to die. We took her to the vet and before they could assist her, her heart stopped and she died in my arms.One other final change was she had some wimper meows on the ride to the vet. I don’t know this this was pain, but she never made such sounds. This made me sure we were doing the right thing to assist her, if she needed it. One thing for sure, life is so much more rich with our much beloved animals.

It has been one week since our dear cat Panda wandered away. She was nearly 17 years old and was our first baby. We have 3 kids, 13,11 and 9 and she has been such a wonderful friend to them. Panda was an indoor cat, but she would come outside with us. Last month we discovered she was hyperthyroid and she was started on medication. She seemed to be doing okay, but we also wondered if she had some dementia has she had started yowling early in the morning, and sometimes she would do it any time of the day. Last Sunday I was outside and saw her come out the front door. I was bringing things back into the house from the van. I realized about 20 minutes later she hadn’t come in, which she usually did. We started calling and looking for her and nothing. It was though she had vanished. We went knocking on doors, put up flyers , notices in the newspaper and checked the vets and shelters. The hardest part is not knowing what happened to her. I have heard that when a cat is ill and thinks it is it’s time, they will go off on their own. Our house is so quiet and sad without her, our oldest is having a hard time as he had a special bond with her. For me the daytime is difficult as I have been a stay at home Mum and she was my company. I could talk to her and she would always answer. My husband really misses her as well as she always slept next to him on our bed, and she would sit on his lap in the evenings. If she doesn’t come home in a month we have to accept that she is gone and we will have a little memorial service for her. We want to get something special for the garden. I would like a plaque with her picture on it. She will be 17 on Easter Sunday, we hope she is up in heaven with Jesus.
We know we will always have cats, so when we are ready we will get 2 this time.
Panda will always be in our hearts.

Zoe died this morning. She was 17. It was horrible and humbling to witness her passing. She’d spent the night curled up with me in bed (a rarity - at best she slept at the foot of my bed). As if she knew it was time. When death came, she growled at it, gasped for air three times, and died. I held her as long as I could, brushed her one last time, and let her go. I’ll miss her beautiful long fur, her warm green eyes, her purr, her love of being brushed, her ability to fetch, the fur between her toes, her pink nose, her chattiness, her sweetness, and her unconditional love.

Our wonderful cat Phoebe is dying under our couch at this moment. She was diagnosed with an aggressive tumor two Fridays ago. They said she had two weeks at the most. I am getting such mixed feelings about letting her have her privacy or getting her to the vet. I am so conflicted, as she does not appear to be in distress, and she was always so frightened at the vet, that I do not want that to be her last memory. Phoebe slept in our bed last night comfortably, as she has for the last 14 years. I can feel for all who have posted on this site, and I am comforted by all who share the special love and painful loss of our special furry friends! My husband has already made a beautiful box to bury Phoebe in and we ordered a special stone on line. My heart aches, but I am keeping it all in perspective as best as I can as my good friend lost her son and grandson in a car accident May 20th, and I lost my 19 year old nephew the same way 8 years ago. Phoebe and I had a special bond and we gave each other unconditional love. No regrets, and only vivid and wonderful memories!

I feel for all of you that had to make the choice to put your animals to sleep. I have a beautiful white blue eyed cat that was a stray. We have had her 14 years and she has cancer on her left ear. We took her to the vet and the vet told us she could last a long time and too old to operate on her because of the anesthesia and if they did take her ears off the cancer could have already spread to other parts of her body I feel so bad because she still eats and drinks but hides all day except in the morning when she wants to be fed. When we left the vet that day she said we needed to make a choice to put her to sleep. I was praying for her to get better and now Im praying for her to pass on. I just can’t put her to sleep unless I know it is the right time. She is just like a dog. She comes when you call her and when you are sick she knew it and would not leave your side. I just want her to go on her own peacefully. She looks really bad her ear is totally gone from her scratching it and causes it to bleed. We had one of those collars on her that the vet puts on animals when they get surgery but she got it off somehow. So here we are just waiting and making her as comfortable as possible giving her what she likes her favorite snacks and food. We just hope we are doing the right thing. We love her so much and have had her since my grown kids were young. She still purrs and goes around your legs for attention. So we just dont know. Help!!!

Hi, Connie.
We decided on June 28th at 8:30am to put Phoebe to sleep (see previous post). It was the hardest thing to do and we cried our eyes out, but two days post decision I can honestly say it was the best way to have handled it. She was definitely dying anyway, and to see her deteriorate was becoming so much worse than to stop the stress on her and us. We have another cat Murphy, and if I ever hear those words “inoperable aggressive tumor” again, I will not wait as long as I did with Phoebe, because I now know the horrible progression of the disease and the satisfaction of giving a dying animal peace when keeping her alive was just prolonging the inevitable and because of my inability to let go. But you have to be comfortable with the decision and you’ll know when the time is right. Phoebe had gotten to the point of not eating even her favorite foods, but was drinking water and wobbling to her litter box. The mornings and evenings without her are the hardest when she was always right next to me, either waking me up with her sandpaper kisses or curling up next to my inner knees to fall asleep, but I’m confident that my husband and I made the right choice. I’m so sorry to hear about your lovely cat…and I wish you strength in dealing with the indecisiveness and sadness. Oddly, there is comfort and relief in letting go.

Buster is 11 years old. For the past five years, he has graciously endured daily blood testing and insulin shots. Nearly two weeks ago, he was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive form of Lymphoma. I decided not to pursue chemotherapy which would conflict with his insulin and am, instead, providing palliative care (syringe feedings, washcloth baths, prednisone and insulin when needed).

Today, he refused his food and is quite limp when I pick him up — I’m sure we’re at the very end. He wants to be in his little cardboard box surrounded by his two best friends Freddie and CutiePie. Fred, especially, has held constant vigil. Watching the three of them together during this time has given me great comfort.

I hope that he passes peacefully at home. This cat has endured so much over the years — including a brief coma and a bout with diabetic neuropathy — I have been truly blessed to have been allowed to share his life and I feel privileged to share his final moments.

Reading all of these posts have helped me realize that it is time to let my Batgirl go.She was diagnosed with a very aggressive abdominal cancer 2 weeks ago.Now she only seems to be able to drink water, has diarreaha, smells like urine since I guess she is unable to go to the bathroom in her litter box and for the 2nd time she has been laying in the wet bathtub which is something she has never ever done.She looks so sad and just seems to want to lay in my arms and rest her head.I am so incredibly sad; I had wanted to spend more of her last days with her but my mother has just come out of a nursing home and needs home health care and I had to be there to food shop and make sure that everything was in place for her and all I had time to do was come home late at nite and hold her for a little while bfore trying to go to sleep.She is my heart and has spent many many years lying on the pillow next to my head with my hand under her paws. I found her as a baby and she has been with me since then and this hurts more than I think I can bare.I lost my twin sister last year and it feels as if I keep losing the ones I love.
I don’t know if the dogs should be there when I take her to the vet for the last time or not; the other poor still feral cat won’t know what happened even though she has been crying this week as if she had some idea that Batgirl was sick.
My heart is breaking sitting here typing and trying to comfort her at the same time…
I do know that it’s time though,these posts have helped me realize that.
Many Blessings and comfort to the people here and their hurting hearts, please say a prayer for everyone and me and give me strength to do what I have to do and make it thru.

Hi, My name is Mella and I’m 14. I had my cat for 9 years and he is 17. He’s getting older now, and I am afraid to say goodbye also. We’ve had many wonderful memorys with him but I think he might be starting to get cancer. King was my first cat and he always watched me and took care of me although it was suppose to be the other way around. He is my cat, my baby and he is very close to me, I love him just like a son.

My Tigger was 9 yrs old and died at home yesterday 11/22/09 of acute anemia and kidney failure. I have another cat who is 10 yrs old; a Blue Siamese seal point named “Blue” and he is still healthy. I know he is grieving and is slightly depressed. Is it normal for him to not want to eat? Is this part of the process? How can I alleviate the depression as time goes on….I work and he is all alone, I would like to alleviate some of his grief, and I am not ready to get another cat just yet. Tigger is one of the biggest personal loses I ever experienced besides losing my parents. This hurts to much and I feel for “My Blue” and I don’t want him to physically suffer because of this…please help any ideas would be nice…Thank you matrixbabe!

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    Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 13 Oct 2006

 


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