I’m 36. I can’t seem to get over my depression. It gets worse every time and I don’t know what to do.

A: You must be feeling desperate. You didn’t give me much to go on but I’ll try. If you are only taking medication, please get yourself to a cognitive-behavioral therapist. The generally acknowledged treatment of choice for depression is a combination of medication and therapy. Medication alone rarely does it.

I also hope you are seeing a psychiatrist for your medications, not your PCP. With all due respect to the PCPs in the world, they are generalists. We count on them to know a bit about everything and to make appropriate referrals. Psychiatry is a specialty. If you have a persistent mental illness, you should be seeing a specialist.

Then, work with your doctors. You are a central part of your treatment team. Tell your doctors how you are feeling. Keep a good daily diary of when you take your medicine, your mood throughout the day and what you are doing. Keep it every day. Take it with you to your appointments. Why? Because it’s tough when we’re feeling lousy to remember that two days ago, maybe things weren’t so bad. A diary helps us see patterns that can be helpful.

Finally, make sure you are taking care of the basics — even if you don’t feel like it. That means getting out for a walk or some physical exercise every day, making sure you are getting at least 6 – 8 hours of sleep a night, and eating decently. Your body can’t help you if you are abusing it by depriving it of basic needs.

It’s difficult to keep working at something when you don’t see results, I know. But please do. With concerted teamwork, you and your team can help you feel better.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I might be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, but I don’t know. It might be Bipolar Disorder as well. I have a lot of mood swings, that can last a week at least, and sometimes a month. My moods varies between depression/anxiety with extreme suicidal thoughts and self-harm tendencies and “normal” episodes when I’m mildly happy and enthusiastic, but some other days I can be normal, not really depressed nor euphoric or something, but it generally doesn’t last much. The other day I may wake up depressed as well as enthusiastic and full of hope. It’s not stable at all.
You may say that I have the typical signs of a Bipolar Disorder, but my mood swings doesn’t last much you know, I mean today I’m happy the next day I’m sad and life goes on. My happy moments are usually alternated by sad moments when I feel like crap or when I’m extremely irritable and nervous. They say that Bipolar disorder usually works through episodes that last from 6 months to a year, literally, and that’s what makes me quite suspicious.

I looked through Wikipedia and social forums for Borderline personality disorder and it appears to be that I have many symptoms of the illness, including fear of abandonment, chronic feelings of emptiness, impulsivity, risky habits (alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex, wasting money) rage and anger.
I also have dissociative syndrome where I don’t know who I am anymore, I feel as if I’m getting out of my body, I sometimes feel very distant, too. Like a ghost. Like I’m not sure if I’m actually HERE or not, ALIVE or not. It’s really stressful. I also confuse my dreams with reality and have paranoid tendencies.

A: Of course it would not be possible to make an accurate diagnosis via an email query, but I am glad that you are taking the time to ask about your well-being. I can understand the concern and think getting a professional—a psychiatrist or psychologist –to help you sort through the symptoms would be a very good idea. The find help tab at the top can be of help in locating someone in your area.

But I would also want you to be aware of your strengths. You have listed the symptoms that trouble you and the possible diagnoses, but what are the strengths you have that have given you the resilience to cope and to seek answers to help you heal? While you are looking for a label for the condition I would also invite you to look at your strengths. Here is a link to the VIA character strengths survey which is free and can help you identify these features in your life.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Every so often, i dont know why, but i get extremely sad and everything i hate about myself, everything i worry about and all my fears and thoughts I surface themselves and I can’t get them out of my brain. Recently, I was in this state of mind and I realized I have been hurting everyone I’ve ever cared about in my life, after googling a few things, I came across “Fear of emotional Intimacy” articles and such. I took the FIS test and scored a 150..which i guess is not very good. And never in my life had anything made more sense than this fear, it fits my past and current actions and thoughts exactly… and i know for a fact that this is one of the things I may be suffering from, if not the only thing. My question is, how do I overcome this fear and how do I know if this is something that I may need therapy for.

A. It is possible that you do have a fear of intimacy, especially after having had read about it and the description resonated with you. However, allow for the possibility that you may have incorrectly diagnosed yourself. You took a test that confirmed a fear of intimacy but how valid is the test? I would caution you against self-diagnosis. It’s possible that you are wrong.

In your letter, you described having periods of depression and anxiety. You did not detail why you thought you had a fear of intimacy. All I can conclude from your letter is that you may be experiencing depression and anxiety.

Self-diagnosis is problematic. The layperson is not trained to evaluate psychological conditions. Mental health professionals receive years of advanced training to learn these skills. It’s also important to carefully and critically evaluate the materials you are reading on the Internet. It’s good practice to bring these materials with you should you decide to be evaluated by a mental health professional. The mental health professional could evaluate these materials as well as your symptoms and determine if you have a psychological problem.

If you continue to have periods of depression and anxiety, then you should be evaluated by a mental health professional. Undergoing an evaluation will help to determine whether or not you have a fear of intimacy or anxiety or depression. Should the evaluation uncover psychological problems, your therapist will develop a treatment plan to assist you in eliminating your symptoms. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog

I was diagnosed with depression in December of last year. Its started to get worse after my mission trip from Nicaragua. Ever since I came back, I get aggravated easily, my roommate and my best friend don’t ever invite me to things and never seem to care that I am around.

I feel so alone most of the time, and I feel like no one cares and think maybe I am better off dead. My best friend even told me she wishes I could be the happier me, the less angry one. I don’t know what is wrong and I mean she is a psychology major here, but she obviously doesn’t understand and I know she is tired of me telling her what is wrong. She says she cares, but I find that to be lies as she doesn’t care to even have dinner with me.

A: I’m so sorry you are feeling so down. It sounds like you are wearing out your friends and feeling generally helpless and alone.

You say that this started to get much worse after your mission trip. I hope the agency or church that sent you prepared you for re-entry into regular American life. Sometimes it’s very hard for people who have been doing work where they have been selflessly helping others for a long time to readjust when they return. You may have depleted yourself more than you realize. It’s not at all unusual for people to get depressed or unmotivated when they come back. People who have not had that kind of experience often don’t understand it or its effects on someone.

The first thing to do would be to contact the sending agency to see if they have any supports for people who have been on mission. If not, I suggest you make an appointment with a mental health counselor. You need help debriefing your experience and restoring yourself. An experienced counselor can help you with that.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

It’s not like I’m depressed or anything, I’m not suicidal or self-harming, thats why I haven’t really sought out any help until now. I’m not sad in any way. I’m usually either really happy, or neutral. I used to do well in school. I’d try to ace all my courses, but recently I just really stopped caring. I feel almost like I’ve experienced everything but dying. I’ve been in most cliques at school, I’ve had major and minor surgeries, and I have a lot of medical conditions (that I was forced by my parent to visit the doctor and take care of). I still ,obviously, haven’t experienced everything though. I hardly pay attention to the actions I carry out and how they affect others , the way they react doesn’t bother me. Even though I should care about how they feel,I can’t and I realize it’s hurting my family and the people I’m around and I wish I could care. When my grandfather died a few months ago, I couldn’t even cry. I attended to my grandmother, but I didn’t feel like I lost anything; even though I was close with him. Late February, I adopted a pet, hoping it would pave the way to caring, it doesn’t feel like I’m cherishing the time with it though. It just feels like a responsibility that I must attend to regardless if I want to or not. I have no idea if theres something wrong with me, I just don’t want to live the rest of my life in this grey void. I’m not looking for a diagnosis, just advice.

A. You may be having a normal reaction to difficult life events.

You had both major and minor surgeries, “a lot” of medical conditions and recently lost your grandfather. These are all major life events and all seem to have occurred in close temporal proximity. Virtually anyone would struggle with these issues.

Your medical problems and surgeries could be affecting your mood. Your medical problems may require you to take certain medications, which may also be affecting the way you feel. Virtually all medications have side effects which could produce changes in your thinking and behavior and feelings.

Losing your grandfather may also be affecting your mood. Sadness after the death of a loved one is normal.

Medical problems, surgeries and losing a close family relative will undoubtedly have an effect on your mood and behavior. Therefore, it’s possible that these events are the reason why you are feeling the way you do.

It’s highly unlikely that you will “live the rest of your life in this grey void.” You’re experiencing a difficult time in your life but you will not always feel this way. I would encourage you to share your feelings with your parents. Ask if there’s anything they can do to help. They may offer advice or perhaps suggest counseling. During this difficult time, be open with your feelings and make it your goal to gain as much support as possible. The more support you have, the better you will feel. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog

I have come to the realization that I was raped at 12 or 13. Didn’t know up until about a year ago. I have been given a diagnosis of major depressive and borderline personality disorder. It affected the way I treated children, who are now adult. I am overwhelmed with feelings of guilt.

A: I am so sorry that you have had to learn about this event in your life. But this is the time to reach out for therapy. They have been many advances in the treatment of repressed memories and trauma. Please choose the ‘find help’ tab at the top of the page to locate a therapist who can be of help. The guilty feelings are understandable but what is most important right now is to find ways to relieve yourself of the burden of the reaction to this memory. There are some new treatments that may be helpful such as EMDR, which is specifically designed to help people who have had trauma in their lives.

Finally, I appreciate your courage and readiness here and hope your therapy will help you cope with the pain of these memories.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months now and he has always had a problem with depression but at first I did think it was just his life as he almost died last year and his dad is ill and his mom is struggling in her life too, but as he’s spoken to me more I’ve come to realize that it’s deeper than his life and his thoughts are seriously negative and I struggle to help him. Whenever we see each other he’s always happy but I’m starting to wonder if he’s just hiding his true feelings.

I know for a fact I want to stay with him, and I definitely want to help him…I just don’t know how. He won’t go to the doctors, he barely talks to me and when he does he’s very secretive in what he will tell me because “he doesn’t want to worry me” and he certainly won’t talk to anyone else about this,

I just want to be the best girlfriend I can be and help him though this. What are the things, if anything, I can do for him, because he’s losing hope of ever feeling like himself again!
Thank you for reading this.

A: I’m sure this is very worrying. It’s painful to watch someone we love be in pain. Your boyfriend has been through a lot and it sounds like it’s not over yet with both parents struggling. I’m sorry he won’t take advantage of good help that is available. There is no shame in talking to a therapist. However you may care for him, you don’t have the training or experience to give him the help he may need to cope.

On the other hand, you do have something no therapist has: You care about him personally and you can have good times with him. I suggest you not push him to talk about things he doesn’t want to share. Instead, focus on positive things. Get together with friends. Do things he likes to do. Do your best to sustain the happy times. Happiness and positive experiences are the best antidote to sadness and negativity.

And, please, I hope you don’t let yourself get caught up in the drama of negativity. Negative drama only feeds negativity. Don’t beg him to share his secrets. Don’t constantly tell him how worried you are. Don’t try to “save” him. He doesn’t need a savior. He needs a friend. When he’s blue, suggest you go do something active, watch a comedy movie, or go hang out with friends doing something fun.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I started a criminal life early, spending most of my 20′s behind bars. I never learned how to be somebody or even be in a relationship sober or that did not feel like a hostage situation. Years later(present), I came across an acquaintance of mine that came to see me in the hospital when I had a tumor removed, and well we have been spending some time together. We have kissed and I couldn’t believe that he kisses just the way I like. He listens to my type of music, we have the same believes and outlook on many things in general. It seems that he is my soul mate. I want to get closer and be with him a lot but I am insecure about my body because of scares and how gravity has taken over my body. I see myself playing stupid junior high games and I get jealous or made when he does not call or text. How can I grow out of this insecurity?

A: I deeply admire your courage for speaking about your past and getting focused on the present. I think it takes a good deal of bravery to honor your struggle. In this relationship there are three major influences. The first is the fact that you are feeling so many positive and engaging emotions that they may in and of themselves overwhelm you. Second, this is a new relationship and it doesn’t sound like you have had a sober relationship in your life. This could be quite unsettling and undermine you as you learn the dance of intimacy. Finally, this comes at a time when you are struggling for your personal identity; who you are, and what your contribution is going to be in the world. The confluence of these factors make for a difficult time.

As you mentioned in your profile along with this letter that you are in college I would highly recommend you find a counselor on campus and talk to him or her about your concerns. This will be the fastest and easiest way to get some help.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I’ve always been self-conscious about my body. When I was 13 I gained a lot of weight and I realized I was getting stretch marks. I didn’t really care back then, but when I turned 17 I noticed that I had stretch marks everywhere. I developed bulimia and anorexia at age 17.I believes I didn’t want to lose weight but I wanted to get rid of my stretch marks. Well, when I turned 18 I started self-harming to cope with all the hate I felt for myself.
I quit studying 2 years ago. I no longer have a social life or even get out of my room. When I do go out, I feel like a freak. I see all those beautiful girls with their gorgeous bodies, and how men turn their necks to see them. I feel awful, Inferior, useless and worthless. I have made my mind that no man will ever love me and I don’t allow myself to be happy.

It has come to a point where I’ve tried to commit suicide and do drugs because I’ve stopped caring about myself. Coming to realize that I’ll die alone. I have no propose, dreams or plans for the future cause I feel useless. Some people may think that it’s not serious and that I shouldn’t worry about it, but I can’t. I have no control over this. It’s too much hate on myself. I quit studying; I have literally no friends at all. I’ve been to a psychiatrist before, but my mom says I don’t need one. No one in my family knows about this body issue I have and how it ruins my life.

I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I need help, but my mom refuses to get help for me cause she says I’m normal. I hate it when people compliment me cause I feel bad for myself.

I am exhausted. Mentally and physically, I feel old, tired and depressed. I no longer sleep at night and I rarely eat.

A: I am sorry you are having so much trouble with your self-image. But I do think that there are several things that you can do to gain support and feel better. The first thing I would do is look for an Overeaters Anonymous meeting in your area. These meetings are free and meet following 12-step principles on managing your food. Beyond the education you get at such meetings, you get a strong sense of fellowship of the members who attend. I think this gives you the best first place to begin.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I feel like crying all the time and I’m not able to concentrate on any task or talk to someone.
My sister got divorced after a 2 year marriage and it has been 2 years and still she is not able to recover from the trauma. Our financial status was not also not so good since childhood due to problems in my father’s job.Also,we do not get any support from our father either psychological or financial since many years. My sister’s earning since almost 9 years. I have done a professional course but am not settled as of now in my career.
Having faced so many problems at age of 23,these days m feeling too low. I don’t feel like talking to anyone and always feel like crying.

Pl help asap!!

A: I am sorry you are having so many difficulties in your family and I deeply appreciate the fact that you don’t want to talk to someone, but felt comfortable enough to write to us here at Psych Central.

It sounds like there are many factors with your family that you do not have control over. During times like these the most reasonable response is to focus on your own growth and needs. Self-care is perhaps the most important task you can invest in for yourself.

My advice is to build on the courage you displayed here by reaching out to a counselor or clergyperson to begin discussing your options. Writing us here was a very good first step.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I spent last winter in an apathetic state where I completely lost interest in things that were important to me and I avoided interacting with friends at all costs. I spent my days distracting myself with videos and mindless things. At the start of this year I started to feel better. My writer’s block wore off and I felt like I could relate to others again. Mid February I broke down into tears one night for no reason, alone in my room. Nothing had triggered it, but on and off after that I had more cry spells and I felt terrible some days. I couldn’t sleep.

Lately these feelings have been building up more frequently, and sometimes I become very sad in public, and I feel as if I can’t hold it in. My health has also suffered. I get sick easily when I get no sleep, I’ve had migraines lasting several hours to a couple days and muscle cramps randomly during the day. I don’t feel like I can trust anyone enough to tell them about how I’ve been feeling. I have no close friends; I’d reduced contact with all of them when university started because I didn’t like being around other people. I know that even if I were close to any of them, I still couldn’t tell them. I’m able to socialize easily with others, but I can’t trust easily.

All the things that didn’t bother me before are affecting me now, and I feel like I’m alienating myself around strangers. Lately I’ve been having thoughts about suicide, even though I know I would never act upon them. I’m distracted at school and at work, and I think of myself as a lost cause that’s not worth the motivation. I really want to beat this on my own and am hesitant about approaching a school counselor, even though I’ve felt bad enough to have thought about it. I want to believe that this is a short term, temporary thing, but I have no idea

A. You are not a “lost cause.” You, in all likelihood, have depression. It’s reoccurring and it seems that your episodes are worse with each reoccurrence. The fact that you’re considering suicide is evidence of the seriousness of your condition.

You have been suffering with this condition for at least a year. It is degrading your life to a significant degree. You’ve been hesitant about seeking help but you should not be. You should not have waited this long to seek help. You should have sought help when you first began to notice the depression. I’ve noticed that sometimes people believe that they have to wait until their symptoms are severe “enough” before they receive help. Ideally, one should receive help upon the emergence of troublesome symptoms. The sooner the better.

Sometimes people also believe, like you, that is important to solve one’s own problems. Perhaps it’s due to pride. It may be due to the fact that some people feel stigmatized by seeking psychological treatment. In their view, the fact that they sought professional help is a sign that they are a failure. Nothing could be further from the truth. There shouldn’t be any hesitancy to seek professional help. Mental health professionals specialize in the very problems with which you suffer. Depression is also very treatable. Don’t wait any longer to receive help. Approach the school counselor immediately and report all of your symptoms. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice

Hi, Im wondering if what I went through was physical depression. When I was 7 my mother died and after that I would get sick almost everyday, it got better over the years and by the time I was 12 I was fine. Im 13 now and would just like a response to whether or not I suffered from Physical depression. Thank you :)

A: It sounds to me like you were grieving in the way that sometimes little kids do. I’m sorry no one helped you make sense of it at the time. Time does heal us after a loss. I’m so sorry you lost your mother so young and I’m glad you are feeling better now.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I am very confused right now. I don’t know if I am happy because I always feel like something is missing in my life and I know I shouldn’t ask for more. I was adopted when I was 3 years old by a single middle aged woman, she’s often not home due to work and we’re not in good terms. I was told I was adopted when I was younger. My grandma always talks about how bad my father is and how he destroyed my real mother’s life. I thought that she was exaggerating first but when I met him, he wasn’t what I thought he should be. The idea of a father is not him at all. He has a new wife that said and my other siblings are with him. I hated him more, because my mother died of giving birth and here he is having a new wife. I don’t want to talk to men or adults because I figured that they’re the same as my father-selfish. When I started in highschool I came to conclusion that they’re not all the same. So I tried talking to them at least but still have problems talking to them sometimes. I have friends but sometimes I feel that we’re not friends, because they don’t understand me. Maybe because they have a complete family and they’re happy. I never really cried to them, and anyways they’re so slow so they will never understand that. I always cry alone, I dunno why.. out of loneliness or envy? It’s just that my life is better now than from my father but why do I seem to want to be reborn and have a normal happy family?

A: It’s understandable that you are looking for reasons for your unhappiness but you’re looking in all the wrong places. Your adoptive mom works to support you both. You have as “normal” a family as anyone else does. Very, very few families look and act like the families you see on reruns of old 1950s and ’60s sitcoms (you know: Mom in dress and pearls, Dad in suit, two to three kids all happy, happy, happy). Your father probably is more complicated than you give him credit for. All men are not alike. But you’re a smart girl. You know all that.

So let’s get to your question: Why are you are confused, alone, and unhappy? Partly it’s because you are going through the normal adjustment of adolescence. I know. That’s not a very satisfactory answer. But the truth is that your body is changing and most kids go through emotional turmoil while that is happening – at least for a little while. You don’t have much control over that piece – although you could talk to your doctor to make sure everything is going normally. Sometimes a thyroid imbalance, for example, makes things worse.

The other piece, you do have control over. You are alone and lonely because you’re not with people. However shy you may be, the “cure” is to get involved in something that you really care about with other people. Do you love animals? Maybe there’s an animal rescue group near you. Are you interested in music? Join a chorus or start a band. Do you love working with kids? Think about getting involved with an after-school program or some other activity where you could work with little ones. Are you interested in kids with special needs? I bet there’s an organization near you that works with them. By giving of yourself and by working side by side with others, you’ll start to find people who are more like you and meaning for your life.

Meanwhile, you also have some control over your relationship with your mother. Find two or three positive things to say to her every day — regardless of whether you think she deserves it. By going to work every day, she is providing for you. She adopted you because she really, really wanted you. She didn’t have to do it. She’s probably as confused and upset about your relationship as you are. You are both dealing with the teen years for the very first time. You’re both learning. Most parents have just as difficult of a time with it as their kids do, though in different ways. If you take the initiative and work to change the tone in your house a bit, you may be surprised and pleased with what happens.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Hi, I am one of four sisters and have four brothers. We are a total of eight siblings. My father past away almost six years ago and so did my grandmother from my mother’s side. My mother was left to care for us all. She has never responsible to pay the bills in the house her responsibility was cook, clean and take care of her children. She has diabetes. After my father past away it has been horrible. Since my mother doesn’t work she received benefits for the 3 younger children. Social security and disability she also received Medicaid, food stamps and Section 8 Housing. She now lives with my four younger siblings. Without this help I don’t know where my mother would be. She has always struggled paying her bills on time and having enough food in the house. Me and my oldest sister are renting an apartment therefore we are not living there anymore. My oldest sister and I have helped her with everything talking to her, giving her advice; also financially we have helped her. My mother allows my little brother to miss school he hasn’t gone in like two weeks or more and he’s only in sixth grade. He doesn’t like to go and has had problems with bullying. I am afraid something bad may happen. Also my little sister that is eighteen dropped out at the age of sixteen and is now working part time. The seventeen year old is doing really bad in school with bad grades. Me and my older sister have given her a lot of advice and have tried helping everyone but it’s only so much we can do. My oldest sister and I are now working full time and currently attending college. I don’t want my family separated. I really want to help her but I have exhausted all my efforts. My sister and I have tried asking her to give us the checks she received so we can manage all her bills but she does not want to. No one else in the family wants to help. My two oldest brothers have their families and they are low income as well. My mother has an inspection coming up soon and it doesn’t seem like she’s taking it seriously. If she doesn’t pass this second time she is in jeopardy in losing the house. Please help me.

A. I’m sorry that you are faced with these problems. There are no easy solutions. As you noted on several occasions in your letter, there’s only so much that you can do. You cannot force your mother to be more responsible. You can’t change who she is. You also can’t force someone to do things that they refuse to do. Unfortunately, your mother’s unwillingness to change may lead to her losing the house and putting other family members in jeopardy. It is also possible that children and youth services will intervene in the case of your brother not attending school. The reality is that your power to effect change in this situation is limited.

You are doing all that you can do. The idea that you are doing everything within your power and yet problems still arise is a very helpless feeling but that is the reality of the situation.

Despite your very difficult upbringing, you managed to move out of your home and begin college. This is evidence of your resiliency.

I hope that your family situation improves but the reality is it might not. It’s important that you brace for this very real possibility. It’s never easy to be faced with these types of situations. It’s akin to watching a car wreck in slow motion. It’s unbearable to watch, especially when you realize that no matter how much you want to help your loved ones, there’s little or nothing you can do. For those reasons, I would encourage you to begin counseling. Counseling could assist you in determining your role in the family. It could also provide much-needed emotional support. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice

I have thought maybe I would classify under ultradian/rapid cycle bipolar because my father, grandmother and great-grandfather suffered from bpd and my moods change over the course of hours to a couple of days at most. However I don’t really suffer through “manic” episodes, it changes between “depressed” and “normal”. My “depressed” moments go from being exhausted for no reason, just being.. “done”, being upset that my life will never be as happy as when I was younger, and thinking that the future is pointless because I’ll be in school for 5 years, work through my whole life, then die. But sometimes I seem to “get over” these phases for a couple of hours/days in which I consider my mood to be “normal” and then it repeats. I have not seriously considered suicide, but recently I don’t even want to risk putting myself in a tempting situation.. Would rapidly switching between “normal” and this kind of “depression” be a certain illness?

I am also slightly sceptical though because my mother has always been worried I will inherit the bpd gene so anytime when I was just sad as a younger teen she was worried that I was going through a depression phase. I am wondering if I’m just convincing myself that there’s something wrong with me, when there’s nothing (even though I would NEVER wish for myself or anyone else to experience mental illness)? I don’t know what to do because I feel like even if I go to the Dr, I can answer the questions the “right way” and it may not be accurate. For example, if I am convincing myself I have an illness I’ll answer the questions in a way that will “confirm” it, or if I’m convincing myself it’s all in my head I’ll answer the questions in a way that will “deny” any illness.. I’m confusing myself and I don’t know whether these thoughts would contribute to my “symptoms” or not….. I don’t really know what I’m doing or what I’m looking for from you guys…. I just don’t know.

I’m sorry for my weird thought process, if it doesn’t make sense to me I can’t assume it would make sense to you, but thank you for your time either way. All the best.

A: There is no need to apologize for yourself. You are asking very, very good questions.

First, there are two types of bipolar disorder. Cycling between depression and “normal” is Bipolar II. People who have also had at least one episode of mania are diagnosed with bipolar I. So, if you have bipolar at all, it’s likely that it’s bpII.

However, you ask another really good question: Is it at all likely that you have been made so hypersensitive to the possibility that you have bipolar that you are mistaking normal adolescent hormonal changes and emotional growth for a disorder? I can’t answer that question on the basis of a letter. What I can do is suggest that you make an appointment with a mental health professional and take your letter with you to the first session. Your letter describes the situation very well. Asking the counselor to read it first thing will help her understand your confusion. The counselor will then be able to ask you questions that will help determine what’s going on.

I do think that settling the question will be helpful to you. You don’t want to be constantly second-guessing yourself or worrying about yourself every time you have a sad feeling. On the other hand, if you do have bipolar II, you may want to consider some treatment so that you can manage it effectively. It doesn’t have to dominate your life.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie