I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. We had a break for four months and got back together in October. So everything was going fine and we were working things out and talking. Well then it started going downhill and I don\’t know what to do. I\’m very lost. We recently fought because my father is getting promoted and we had originally planned to go to his high school\’s prom. Well it was all very expensive and we decided not to go. My father was going to let me go to prom instead of his promotion, since we aren\’t going anymore, I was going to go to my dad\’s promotion. My boyfriend got upset and it was a miscommunication between us when everything was happening. I had called my boyfriend to express to him that I felt hurt and angry that he wouldn\’t want to be flexible and understand that my father\’s promotion takes precedence. My boyfriend is not abusive, but he does have some signs of being controlling. I love him very dearly and I don’t want to lose him. What are some ways we can effectively stop arguing so much?

A. Your boyfriend may or may not be showing signs of being controlling. It is important to see the relationship for what it is and not how you wish it would be. If your boyfriend is controlling, then you should not ignore his behavior. Someone who is controlling is engaging in a form of abuse. Abuse in relationships is the attempt, through words or behavior, to maintain power and control. Psychological or emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Abuse in any form is unacceptable.

With regard to arguing, you can only control your behavior. Even if you behaved perfectly and did everything correctly, it still may not improve the relationship dynamic. You can and should do your part to improve the relationship but your boyfriend also has to do his. Relationships require equal work from both participants.

I would recommend consulting a couples counselor or an individual therapist. A couples counselor can determine what the problems are in the relationship and create a plan to improve it. If your boyfriend is unwilling to see a couples counselor, then you should attend individual therapy. The therapist could assess whether you are in an abusive relationship. He or she can also examine how you may be contributing to the arguments and assist you in modifying your behavior to improve the relationship.

It’s unclear whether this relationship could or should be saved. Frequent arguing is a sign that something is wrong. Every argument degrades the relationship. Seeking outside consultation from a therapist could help this relationship immensely. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I am 14 years old & I got molested when I was younger by 2 cousins of mine. I have thoughts in my head that i try to not think about and I keep having flashbacks on the incident. I get angry alot & have really bad mood swings. Is this an effect of the molest or do I have a problem?

A. You seem to be experiencing flashbacks. A flashback essentially is a re-experiencing of a traumatic event. Being molested is obviously a very traumatic event. During a flashback, an individual may literally feel as though the traumatic experience is happening. Flashbacks are associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Flashbacks can be very disruptive. My recommendation is counseling. In counseling, you can learn to identify what triggers your flashbacks. Recent research shows that knowing what triggers flashbacks is an important step in preventing them. Therapy could also assist you in stabilizing your mood.

I would strongly encourage you to talk to your parents. Counseling has helped many thousands of people with exactly the same problems that you are experiencing. Counseling is the easiest, quickest way for you to gain permanent relief. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I’m not sure what is wrong with me, and I’m too scared to ask my therapist. I need a bit of help. No matter how hard I’ve looked, I can’t find anyone who has the same sort of issues as me. Last year I sort of split my personality into two parts, one for the ‘good’ me, and one for the ‘bad’ me. I feel like the ‘bad’ me is a completely separate person from myself. The ‘good’ me has depression, anxiety, and self harm issues. The ‘bad’ me, has issues with stealing, setting fires, pedophilia, sadism, homicidal ideation and pathological lying. The ‘bad’ me (I’ve self diagnosed) has Schizoid and Antisocial personality disorders. Sometimes I can’t tell who is the ‘good’ me and the ‘bad’ me, I get so confused.

After reading about the Columbine massacre, I have been completely obsessed with mass murders, and all I think about is killing people. Strangers on the bus, the kids at school, my own family. And while I am the ‘bad’ me, everything I am thinking seems perfectly rational and normal to me. It’s only after, when I am the ‘good’ me again that I realize how messed up that all is. I dropped out of school because I had adrenaline rushes all the time from thinking about shooting up the place. I stopped hanging out with friends. I’ve done barely anything since the summer of last year, all I do is sit around at home worrying about losing it.

Nothing feels real anymore, and everything I say feels like I’m talking about someone else. Sometimes I go back to the ‘good’ me and find that I’ve been planning a murder, and wonder how I could have thought that was alright. My ‘bad’ self even planned a school shooting, and the only reason my ‘bad’ self didn’t do it was because I don’t have access to a gun. I’m scared and I want to know what is wrong with me! Help!

A: I am very, very glad you contacted us. You wrote a very clear letter that explains your feelings well. You have far too much going on inside for a 15-year-old to deal with alone.

Many, many people write letters to us here at PsychCentral as a kind of rehearsal for what they wish they could say to their therapist or someone else. It’s a good use of this website. Sometimes writing can help a person organize their thoughts and pour out the feelings that are so difficult to express to someone in person.

Having done the rehearsal, it’s time to do the real thing. Please — take your letter to your therapist and share it. I assure you, most experienced therapists have seen some version of what you are describing and can handle it. If your therapist is young and inexperienced, she or he will get a consultation or will refer you to someone who can offer help. But neither scenario can happen if you don’t share your thoughts and feelings. We therapists only have what our clients tell us (and our observations in session) to go on. We can’t do our job without your help. It’s like one hand trying to clap.

You made an important start toward your own healing by writing your letter. Now please take the next step and show it to the therapist who wants to help you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I just found out my mom has been cheating on my father. I am not totally surprised because she has been acting sneaky the past year or so, but I am devastated. I love my dad, he is so good to my mother and he doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. I think she’s going through her midlife crisis. I hate the person she’s becoming, I don’t even know her anymore. I have no respect for cheaters and I want my mom to be someone I respect and look up to.

I don’t have anyone to talk to, I stopped hanging out with all my friends when I became pregnant because I wanted to quit doing drugs and I didn’t want the temptations, my social anxiety makes it hard for me to make new friends without using drugs. I can’t talk to my boyfriend because we don’t have a good relationship and we don’t communicate. I need some advice on how to handle the situation with my mother. She doesn’t know that I know, I don’t know whether to talk to her about it or not.

A: The fairest thing to do is to tell your mother what you think you know and how it makes you feel. There’s no point in yelling at her or getting into an argument with her about it. She has to deal with her relationship with your dad. How she does it will probably affect your relationship with her. That remains to be seen.

I’m concerned that thinking about your parents’ issues is a great distraction from thinking about your own. You’re only 20 and have a baby. You have social anxiety and a “boyfriend” you can’t communicate with. Your focus needs to be on growing up yourself and making a solid family for your child. Please get yourself into therapy to deal with all of this. If you’re having trouble staying in recovery, find a support group. Get some couples therapy for you and the boyfriend to see if you can be a family. And if you don’t have a job or schooling, look into local services that will help you get started.

You and your baby deserve to have a decent life. Leave your parents’ relationship to them – at least for now. You have plenty to deal with in your own life.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I have some behavior issues that are starting to really affect my life. I’m having problems at school, work, home, and socially. I really need some help and I’m sorry for such a long and chaotic post. I’ll try and briefly go over my issues.

I feel like I cannot talk to anyone socially. I can’t connect with someone and don’t know how to talk to them. Most interactions are in awkward silence. I feel like I am so bad at it I just avoid all situations. Its even like this with my parents and my best friend sometimes. I find myself hiding in my room and avoiding everyone. I only have one friend and it feels like I am close to losing him. I also haven’t had a relationship in over five years.

My messiness and lack of motivation for everything is starting to become a problem. My parents are really close to kicking me out because of it. I feel the only reason they don’t is that they fear I will do the same thing by myself and get even worse. At least with me living under there house they can watch out for me. Basically, my room and car are always trashed and I’m bad about keeping myself up.

I also feel like I am addicted to everything. I can’t quit cigarettes and smoke way too much. I go on a lot of drug binges and my sleep pattern is super messed up. I drink four or five cups of coffee everyday.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I feel really hopeless and I’m going crazy with internalizing everything. I also feel really embarrassed and don’t know how to approach my parents for help.

A. It seems as though many of the issues you are struggling with are related to anxiety. Your anxiety is significantly degrading your life. If not treated, it may worsen. Avoidance is a strategy that many people use in an attempt to deal with anxiety, but it can backfire. It usually makes the anxiety symptoms worse, not better.

The problems that you are dealing with are correctable in therapy. I would suggest that you consider it. Please don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. Asking for help is a commendable act. It’s a sign that somebody is ready to make a life change for the better. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Hi There, I really need help with dealing with my brother. He has serious mental problems and I think they are down to a lack of self esteem. Our dad (who still lives with us) is very aggressive but has never hit us, he just smashes things (although my brother is adamant that my dad kicked him and threw my mum down the stairs but he didn’t). My brother has ended up fearing my dad but won’t admit that he is scared of him and insists he would kill him if he could get away with it. My brother is 26, living at home and even though he has a degree is unable to get a job. He started to go bald when he was 19/20 and now just has no self worth and feels the whole world is against him. He is very self destructive, he used to cut himself quite badly and also took drugs for a number of years. He often breaks down when talking about our chilldhood exclaiming that we suffered abuse, (I am completely fine and feel although our dad obviously had mental problems himself, that our childhood was a very privileged one). I worry that if he doesn’t get help soon he will do something silly as he just hates his life and feels he is a complete failure, I find it difficult to help him as I disagree with what he is blaming his problems on. Please help as it is ruining my whole family, my mum is forever trying to keep the peace and feels it is all her fault and my dad ends up kicking off because my mum and brother are unjustly hostile with him due to a build up of issues which my dad thinks are sorted! Thank you.

A. This is a very difficult situation. My concern is that your brother may act out violently toward members of your family. If he is actively using alcohol or drugs, then the risk of violence increases significantly. Do not hesitate to call the authorities if you feel that you or your family members are in danger.

You disagree with your brother’s understanding of his problems. He views his childhood as having been abusive. He may have a skewed view of that time. You described your childhood as having been “privileged.” Perhaps you are correct and he is wrong. On the other hand, he may have experienced abuse. It is not unusual, and it is in fact common, for parents to treat each child differently. Also, children can live in the same home and have completely different experiences.

Ideally, it would be best if your brother went to therapy. It seems as though he is dealing with many issues and his behavior is negatively affecting the family. If you have not suggested therapy, then you should.

If he is not agreeable to individual therapy, perhaps he would be open to family therapy. In family therapy, everyone works together to solve the problems. The onus is on the family to solve the problem rather than on just one member of the family.

If your brother is unwilling to change his behavior, then it is up to the people around him to change their behavior. That may not seem fair but you can only control your behavior, not the behavior of others. You and your family may have to develop a new set of rules for the home or the conditions in which you interact with him. A therapist could provide guidance regarding the best way to properly address your brother’s behavior. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I started seeing my boyfriend a year ago and he was really great. We had a really good first couple of months but I started having my own emotional issues after an event triggered a date rape 20 years ago, then I began remembering other incidents from my childhood, the most troubling was remembering being molested when I was 5. I was diagnosed with PTSD.

The worse my condition became the more unstable the relationship got. Even before that though he was always bragging about things from his past… how popular he was in school, how great he was at sports, really anything to look good or show off. There were times, and still are, where I will call or text him worried or upset and he will say “why can’t you just be happy?” He has never comforted me one time when I was melting down and there have been times also when I have wanted him to help defend me when I was having problems with my ex (abusive attacks, name calling, etc) but he wouldn’t do anything. If fact he showed no sympathy for me at all.

There are SO many other examples but last night I really decided that I’ve had enough. I was expressing some feelings toward the kind of men that objectify women and feel no remorse – the kind of men I have attracted for 30 years. I made a comment in which I told him that I believed if he misled a woman and she wanted to know why he rejected her he would be man enough and considerate enough to tell her. I was complimenting him and he heard the opposite. I always want to know why he stays with me if he’s so miserable which is something else he is always throwing in my face.

I recently found out my mother is terminally ill and I feel awful that for our entire relationship I have been this pathetic girl with all these problems and needed him so much. I would and one day will (unless he is a narcissist and in that case I’ll be done) give him my shoulder to cry on if he ever needs it. I feel like he’s just with me to prove something or maybe even fix me. I’m just so confused and while in some ways he’s been better than any other guy I’ve been with, I feel totally disconnected from him emotionally.

We have had no physical relationship for months. I just can’t if there’s no connection. I know you can’t officially diagnosis him or anything, but does he sound like a narcissist in your opinion? Thanks very much!

A: No, I can’t “diagnose” him. I can offer you a couple of thoughts. Since you are in your mid-30s, you’ve both lived a lot of life already. His response to his past may be that he wants to emphasize the positive and live in the moment. Meanwhile, you have embarked on a healing journey where you are dealing with painful events from your past. To him, you may be a bring-down. To you, he’s unsympathetic. The incompatibility is now showing up in your sex life.

There must be something sweet and attractive about each of you for both of you to have hung in this long. I suggest you try to talk about the differences in your approach to this stage of your lives and see if there’s a way to accomodate both sets of needs. If you can’t do it and want to stay together, I suggest couples therapy to help you hear each other and find ways to be mutually supportive.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I really need a lot of help with my father. He’s 65. My mother and him have been divorced for over 5 years and he is severely depressed about it. I can tell and so can other people.

He’s been drinking alcohol a lot sometimes. He drank so much one time he almost died from it and almost died from it again a year after that. He talks about the divorce a lot, daily, and has every single day for over 5 years. I hate it. It has caused me so much stress that I’ve had breakdowns, too.

I don’t know if he knows he’s depressed or not but he knows there’s a problem. If he’s not drinking, he buries himself in work and talks about women all the time, because he’s extremely lonely since it’s just me and him. I hate it. I see him a lot so overworked from burying himself in his work that he’s almost incoherent. I’m afraid for him and hate to see him do something so stupid as to keep drinking. All he does is put emphasis on how he still loves my mother, how she did him wrong, and how people in general have done him wrong his whole life. He is a really good, genuine person, and so I believe him but he won’t get away from thinking about that stuff ALL THE TIME. Mostly about the divorce.

I’m afraid one day he’s just going to have another bout with alcohol and just die, because I see the pattern every year. Every time I mention it he gets very angry with me and says that I dont know what i’m talking about or that I just need to goto another room and leave him alone. It’s a lot of stress on me. So much that I dont think I can handle it anymore mentally. I’ve seen a side of my father that i’ve never seen before, mostly in the past 3 years and it confuses me from my experiences with him when I was younger, he used to be such a calm person.

I dont know what to think and I dont know what to do. I want to help him but I kind of give up. I dont know what to do anymore.

A: This has been going on since you were 16? No wonder you’re getting burned out. At 21, you shouldn’t have to be your father’s keeper. You should be launching yourself into your own adult life. Your father apparently has no idea how he is keeping both of you stuck.

I think you’re right that your dad is depressed. He’s self-medicating with overwork and alcohol. Neither remedy is effective. In fact, they only are making things worse.

I can only suggest a few things: First, instead of being angry with him or trying to reason with him, simply tell him how worried you are about him and how his depression is affecting you. Don’t do this in a blaming or shaming way. Just tell him you love him and are feeling unable to make life decisions because you don’t want to leave him when he’s feeling so low.

Then, encourage him to get into some therapy to deal with his feelings of grief and anger about the divorce. Tell him you will go with him for awhile because you need help finding ways to be supportive of him. I’m hoping that his concerns for you as a father may matter enough that he’ll do this for you even if he won’t do it for himself. Hopefully, your therapist will be able to engage him so that you can turn his treatment over to her or him.

Finally, I strongly urge you to find a local chapter of Al-Anon. This is an organization that is connected to Alcoholics Anonymous and that provides support for family and friends of alcoholics. The program can teach you skills to help both your father and yourself. Most important, the group can give you needed support.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half, I moved to Texas to be with him. Lately I’ve found myself needing attention all the time. Like in always looking for reassurance that he loves me. I’m thinking this stems from my father walking out when I was 5 and my mother kicking me out at 18. I don’t have a family and there’s always a void there. It’s wrong to lay all that on him, but I feel crazy I cant help ALWAYS needing affection and being told I’m loved. It’s become a problem for us because he’s expressed that he feels he will never be able to do enough for me. What do I do with myself?

A: You are probably right that being abandoned by your parents has left an emotional hole that is hard to fill. In addition, you’ve uprooted yourself and moved to a new place to be with your guy. You probably haven’t yet made other friends so you are more dependent on him. My guess is that scares you. Your experience of people who love you is that they leave. You may be scared that he will leave too so you cling. Ironically, clinging generally makes people want to go away — which is what you fear most.

What you do with yourself is find a therapist. It’s unfair and destructive to turn your love relationship into therapy for your neediness. Therapy will help you resolve your grief and anger about being left by your parents. It can also help you truly understand that it wasn’t because you were unlovable that they left.

I also encourage you to find your own group of friends so you can spread your needs for affirmation and contact around. Join an organization. There’s a political campaign happening right now. There’s a need for volunteers. If that’s not to your liking, volunteer to do some community service. Join a club where there are people who share your interests. Get a job and invite people you meet there and like to get together after work. Yes. I know that finding a way to belong in a new place is hard but it won’t get any easier if you stick to your boyfriend like a burr. And your boyfriend will rightfully feel concerned about you and annoyed that he can’t do enough.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Q: I’m 23 years old and in the military. Recently I was raped while on duty, I haven’t been handling it well it brought up a lot of childhood stuff. I started seeing a psychologist, but I’m having a really difficult time opening up. She’s nice and I like her, but I don’t want to tell her too much, hurt my career and depend on her to keep my confidences when she can’t. I don’t know how to tell her about the purging or even if I should, she’s asked about the cutting but I don’t know what to say. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD but I don’t want to tell her that when I have a nightmare when I wake up I can still see and feel what was happening in the dream. How do you open up and not come off as crazy? Please help me I could really use the guidance.

A: I am so sorry to hear of your abuse. You are brave to write in and I’m so glad that you are seeing a therapist. Ask your psychologist questions about confidentiality and how much she is required to report to your superiors about your sessions.  The symptoms you’re having make sense given the trauma that you’ve been through recently, and in your childhood, and are common responses to unresolved trauma. They don’t mean you’re crazy. They mean you’ve been hurt. Please watch this video for additional suggestions for dealing with this difficult situation.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Q: I have bipolar disorder, along with ADHD and OCD. Recently, I have started going to see a psychiatrist about my issue. But when I go to her, I feel as though she doesn’t ask ME how I am, she asks my mother. There are so many issues I need to tell her, but I simply do not feel like I can. I am worried about myself. All I want to do is lay in bed. Please, tell me what I need to do to tell her about my issues. I tried writing them down to tell her, but I did  get the chance, because she only had a 2min session with me, after talking to my mother. Help!

A: It’s all right to ask for some time alone with your psychiatrist so you can talk with her directly and share what’s really going on. It makes sense that she’s including your mom in the initial session since you’re still a minor, but not in every session. I’m curious if the psychiatrist is prescribing medication only, or doing medication management and therapy? If she’s doing meds only, you may want to get a psychotherapist who will go into more depth with you individually.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

I have decided to post this on psych central instead of Yahoo answers, haha, I will hopefully get a more professional answer.

I’ve always had anxiety issues and been prone to depression, but it’s worsened over the last years. I have symptoms that may lead to a disorder of some type, but I’m not sure what, I was wondering if a Therepist here could give me a little answer…

Here:
*I have moods swings, I know most teenagers do, but Oh well.
*I get hyper for weeks at a time, but then something little triggers me, and I’m down and depressed for days to weeks.
*When i’m hyper I can’t stop talking around my friends, I laugh at everything, I repeat myself and do stupid things, I have huge ideas and want to do things for an adreneline rush.
*I often feel worthless
*Self Harm
*When I’m not around my friends at school, I can’t talk. I choke up, can’t breathe, hunch my shoulders, when I’m called on in class I freeze up and can barely whisper.
*I worry about things that most others wouldn’t, like planes crashing into my house, my family dying or getting sick, People from the government taking my parents away, I just worry about everything, and I can’t control these fears.
*5 suicide attempts, still here, great.
*I feel like life isn’t worth living half the time, but when I’m high I feel on top of the world.
*When I’m down I have sleeping problems, I am so tired, but I can’t sleep
*But when I’m tired, I buzz all night and don’t sleep, or only have about 3 hours sleep.
*I starve myself, and at dinner times when my parents are there I eat, but throw it up afterwards.
*I see my self as ugly, fat, worthless, retarded, and I carve these into myself with blades.
*Other times I see myself as a different person,.
* (This may sound insane, but whatever) I have voices, in my head, I probably sound insane, but I have, good bad and neutral voices, they argue, I often cover my ears and cringe to try and get them to go away, bad always wins though. The voices tell me to drink the poison in the bathroom, cut my veins, drown myself and so on. My mentor got worried because I said 4 out of 5 of the time I want to let the voices win and take over.
*I have really bad self-image. Well, I self-hate. People say I’m skinny, I can’t see it. I see fat, ugly, horrible. But then I have weeks that i see myself with confidence, it’s really, really weird. But When i’m not like that I worry about whether others think I’m fat, ugly, ect. I worry that even my close friends and family hate on me. I feel terrible, but my mind is set to not trust anyone, and worry. [I said some of that before oops]
*I was bullied badly through out my life. I can’t learn to trust anyone.

I’ve recently started seeing a psychologist, and i have an appointment with a mental health service next month, but hopefully you could answer this, so I can have an idea what’s going on.

Thanks :)

A: I’m so very sorry that you are dealing with so much so young. What is going on is what you already know is going on: You have some serious issues that you can’t handle on your own, especially at only 14. Please take this letter to your psychologist. It will jumpstart your therapy.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Two weeks ago I had this dream: I woke up in a trailer, went out and yelled at my boyfriend’s friend in the yard (they were being loud). I saw John Cena, followed him, and came to a huge nest of killer bees; he was riding a four-wheeler and was making the bees mad. The bees landed on me then after a while flew away and I ran into the woods. I was climbing on the trees like a monkey; I was naked with only a long shawl covering me. Snakes were crawling all over me and rubbing me sexually. I saw Medusa and made a deal with her; if I could control the snakes I would do her a favor. I ran out of the woods (still partially naked) fast like a vampire. My friend J ran up beside me (also naked) and ran with me. My boyfriend’s mom and sister saw me and followed me. Ended up back at the trailer; saw my boyfriend. He told me we couldn’t be together (J sent his mom pictures of me drunk). I said I was going to kill myself; boyfriend picked up rock, threw at killer bee nest. I asked “you want me to die?” whispered to the bees to come here (I could control them) went to J, and a demon baby ripped its way out of his stomach; 20 toddlers crawled out, stood up, and followed me. J was dead. I told boyfriend I was leaving to give Medusa the children and I was leaving with my child and touched my stomach.

A: I know there are lots of books on the market that supposedly tell you how to interpret dreams. But the thing is that dreams are highly specific to the dreamer. What means something to you may well not mean the same thing to others. For that reason, such books are entertaining but not all that useful.

Dreams are essentially your thoughts in pictures. The thoughts haven’t been made into language and so are symbolic. If you can’t figure out your symbols, it’s possible that a therapist can help you do so. Without knowing you, all I can get is that you’re very anxious about something – probably about something to do with relationships and maybe sex. (Or maybe you are just afraid of snakes and bees.)

The fact that you’ve been thinking about this for two weeks suggests that you are trying to tell yourself something. Rather than trying to figure out the dream, it might be more productive for you to think about whether anything is particularly bothering you and, if so, to deal with it as best you can. In the dream, you are pretty resourceful. I bet you’re the same way when you’re awake.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Q: Hello. About four months ago I diagnosed myself with possible anorexia. I skip about 2 meals a day but I eat try to eat a full meal for dinner. I exercise for at least an hour daily. I am 16, my height is 5 foot 9 and my weight is 123 pounds. I want to ask for help from my parents but I am too scared they will be disappointed in me. I also do not think that my disorder is that serious. Should I ask for help?

A: The short answer to your question is “yes.” Yes, you should talk to your parents and get professional help. Generally, people wait too long to seek treatment. Please get an assessment soon. Watch the video below to hear more advice.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Q: I have been seeing my therapist for almost 2 years, and I just had my first psychiatrist appointment 2 weeks ago (per my therapist’s referral). The psychiatrist wants me to come back every month, but I would much rather see my therapist more often. I think some insurance companies count the number of overall mental health visits per year and I don’t want to “waste” them. I am “real” around my therapist and I know that it will take a long time for me to open up to my psychiatrist. Can I mention this to my therapist next week or is that a bad idea since they communicate with each other? I guess my thoughts are every 2-3 months would be sufficient and my therapist could certainly tell him if my status changes for me. I know I shouldn’t, but I do put up a fake “front” in front of the psychiatrist. Any suggestions on what to do? This is all new to me!!

A: Great question! I want to encourage you to be bold and bring up your questions with your therapist and with the psychiatrist. Most mental health providers are open to explaining their rationale for treatment. Watch this video to hear more suggestions…

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW