I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, manic depression, OCD, and generalized anxiety disorder. Before I continue I must tell you first that I DID consume psychoactive elements such as psilocybin mushrooms and a MDMA for a year and a half, i took MDMA regularly, and magic mushrooms 2 times.

A year or so passed by and I start seeing disturbing images about my little brother and thoughts. I don’t know weather it’s guilt or some other thing. Because I feel like i did not devote time for him or attention did not spend time with him as a normal brother would. This makes me feel so guilty that I want to commit suicide. I love him so much, because he is my only brother and he is 10, i am 24. I love him to the point where I start getting this images in my head as if someone wants to kill him or hurt him, these images are so vivid i mean how is it even possible? I feel that he lives in a cruel world, i feel like the world is too dangerous for him. I want to guard him with my life but i’m afraid that I won’t be there. I feel like he is far from me although he is the reason why I live. After seeing news or reading news online I come across horrifying stories where kids disappear or get killed, or slaughtered and when I see my brother I start picturing that its happening to him and I want to just kill myself, just stab myself when i see this nightmarish images with my brother, i avoid seeing him because i am afraid that I will start picturing it. Sometimes its so disturbing that I just give, whatever will happen happen.

Please help. Any advice will help. I love my brother,

A. If I were interviewing you in person I would inquire about whether your mental health symptoms are under control. My sense of the situation is that they may not be.

The disturbing images may be a symptom of one of the disorders that you were diagnosed with, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It is not uncommon for individuals with OCD to experience disturbing images about someone they are worried about. These images tend to be intrusive and difficult to control. A common type of intrusive thought associated with OCD is feeling unrealistically responsible for the well-being of another. This seems to be similar to what you are experiencing.

I would recommend consulting a mental health professional about your symptoms. You may never learn their origin but that is not the goal. What is important is their removal.

You did not say whether you are taking medication. If so, your symptoms may be a sign that a medication change is required. Modifying your treatment plan may be necessary.

When these images occur do your best to focus on something different or positive. Some ideas include watching TV, playing a video game, calling a friend, listening to music, and so forth. The idea is to distract yourself so you can’t focus on the disturbing images.

Your symptoms may be indicative of an untreated mental health disorder. I hope that you are able to get the help that you desire. What’s most concerning about this situation is that you mentioned suicide. If you feel that you may harm yourself, then it is imperative that you seek help immediately or call 911. Please write again if you have additional questions.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I’m not sure what is wrong with me, and I’m too scared to ask my therapist. I need a bit of help. No matter how hard I’ve looked, I can’t find anyone who has the same sort of issues as me. Last year I sort of split my personality into two parts, one for the ‘good’ me, and one for the ‘bad’ me. I feel like the ‘bad’ me is a completely separate person from myself. The ‘good’ me has depression, anxiety, and self harm issues. The ‘bad’ me, has issues with stealing, setting fires, pedophilia, sadism, homicidal ideation and pathological lying. The ‘bad’ me (I’ve self diagnosed) has Schizoid and Antisocial personality disorders. Sometimes I can’t tell who is the ‘good’ me and the ‘bad’ me, I get so confused.

After reading about the Columbine massacre, I have been completely obsessed with mass murders, and all I think about is killing people. Strangers on the bus, the kids at school, my own family. And while I am the ‘bad’ me, everything I am thinking seems perfectly rational and normal to me. It’s only after, when I am the ‘good’ me again that I realize how messed up that all is. I dropped out of school because I had adrenaline rushes all the time from thinking about shooting up the place. I stopped hanging out with friends. I’ve done barely anything since the summer of last year, all I do is sit around at home worrying about losing it.

Nothing feels real anymore, and everything I say feels like I’m talking about someone else. Sometimes I go back to the ‘good’ me and find that I’ve been planning a murder, and wonder how I could have thought that was alright. My ‘bad’ self even planned a school shooting, and the only reason my ‘bad’ self didn’t do it was because I don’t have access to a gun. I’m scared and I want to know what is wrong with me! Help!

A: I am very, very glad you contacted us. You wrote a very clear letter that explains your feelings well. You have far too much going on inside for a 15-year-old to deal with alone.

Many, many people write letters to us here at PsychCentral as a kind of rehearsal for what they wish they could say to their therapist or someone else. It’s a good use of this website. Sometimes writing can help a person organize their thoughts and pour out the feelings that are so difficult to express to someone in person.

Having done the rehearsal, it’s time to do the real thing. Please — take your letter to your therapist and share it. I assure you, most experienced therapists have seen some version of what you are describing and can handle it. If your therapist is young and inexperienced, she or he will get a consultation or will refer you to someone who can offer help. But neither scenario can happen if you don’t share your thoughts and feelings. We therapists only have what our clients tell us (and our observations in session) to go on. We can’t do our job without your help. It’s like one hand trying to clap.

You made an important start toward your own healing by writing your letter. Now please take the next step and show it to the therapist who wants to help you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I really need a lot of help with my father. He’s 65. My mother and him have been divorced for over 5 years and he is severely depressed about it. I can tell and so can other people.

He’s been drinking alcohol a lot sometimes. He drank so much one time he almost died from it and almost died from it again a year after that. He talks about the divorce a lot, daily, and has every single day for over 5 years. I hate it. It has caused me so much stress that I’ve had breakdowns, too.

I don’t know if he knows he’s depressed or not but he knows there’s a problem. If he’s not drinking, he buries himself in work and talks about women all the time, because he’s extremely lonely since it’s just me and him. I hate it. I see him a lot so overworked from burying himself in his work that he’s almost incoherent. I’m afraid for him and hate to see him do something so stupid as to keep drinking. All he does is put emphasis on how he still loves my mother, how she did him wrong, and how people in general have done him wrong his whole life. He is a really good, genuine person, and so I believe him but he won’t get away from thinking about that stuff ALL THE TIME. Mostly about the divorce.

I’m afraid one day he’s just going to have another bout with alcohol and just die, because I see the pattern every year. Every time I mention it he gets very angry with me and says that I dont know what i’m talking about or that I just need to goto another room and leave him alone. It’s a lot of stress on me. So much that I dont think I can handle it anymore mentally. I’ve seen a side of my father that i’ve never seen before, mostly in the past 3 years and it confuses me from my experiences with him when I was younger, he used to be such a calm person.

I dont know what to think and I dont know what to do. I want to help him but I kind of give up. I dont know what to do anymore.

A: This has been going on since you were 16? No wonder you’re getting burned out. At 21, you shouldn’t have to be your father’s keeper. You should be launching yourself into your own adult life. Your father apparently has no idea how he is keeping both of you stuck.

I think you’re right that your dad is depressed. He’s self-medicating with overwork and alcohol. Neither remedy is effective. In fact, they only are making things worse.

I can only suggest a few things: First, instead of being angry with him or trying to reason with him, simply tell him how worried you are about him and how his depression is affecting you. Don’t do this in a blaming or shaming way. Just tell him you love him and are feeling unable to make life decisions because you don’t want to leave him when he’s feeling so low.

Then, encourage him to get into some therapy to deal with his feelings of grief and anger about the divorce. Tell him you will go with him for awhile because you need help finding ways to be supportive of him. I’m hoping that his concerns for you as a father may matter enough that he’ll do this for you even if he won’t do it for himself. Hopefully, your therapist will be able to engage him so that you can turn his treatment over to her or him.

Finally, I strongly urge you to find a local chapter of Al-Anon. This is an organization that is connected to Alcoholics Anonymous and that provides support for family and friends of alcoholics. The program can teach you skills to help both your father and yourself. Most important, the group can give you needed support.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Q: My life was fine until I was in seventh grade, my parents were alright and I had amazing friends, until one night my parents told me and my siblings that my mom was thinking about divorce and how they were constantly fighting that single night brought everything down since then my parents were fighting all the time, my father would get drunk and start talking without knowing he was hurting my feelings, one night he almost hit my sister and my mom that marked my whole life, I almost didn’t make it through eight grade because I would just think about my parents and how their marriage is gonna end. Is not very pleasant to see your mom and dad sad :( Now in my freshman year everything got worse I started to get sad, cry without a reason, I get stress more easy and stuff like that.

Also I’ve been distancing from my friends and I know many people but I’m just used to them being my friends, two of them have boyfriends and they just stick to them like glue and its kind of annoying because we made a promise that no boy will interfere with our friendship but I guess isn’t validate anymore, for them I don’t exist anymore because they also have new friends and they leave in a corner alone. I guess that is also part of my sadness I guess and I also lost interest in things I used to like for example writing, photography, fashion and reading plus I’ve been thing about self-harming but I know that isn’t gonna help. So please answer me. take care :)

A: Thanks for writing in about this very difficult situation. How scary to not know what’s going to happen with your parents’ marriage, and feeling scared about your becoming mean when your dad drinks. Please reach out to your parents and ask if you can see a therapist. If they aren’t supportive of therapy then I suggest that you talk with a school counselor. Watch this video to hear additional suggestions.

Take good care!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Okay so this is kind of a big deal and I need advice. I struggle every day with depression and a lot of suicidal thoughts an the onlY reason I havent done anything is because I care about my family too much to leave. I’ve also attempted suicide over 5 times in the past week. I also have no one to ever talk to so I have to keep all these feelings insidE until at night when I start scratching and hitting myself until I fall asleep crying. It frustrates me. My friends at school make fun of me, gossip about me and laugh at me all the time. And when I try to talk to my parents they make fun of me. I don’t know what to do anymore and every time I write anything down in a journal my parents find it and get really mad and ask me a lot of questions but they don’t help only make it worse.

A. In this situation, I would advise you to bring your problem to the attention of someone who you think could help. That might be someone in authority at your school such as a guidance counselor, a teacher, the principal, the school nurse, etc. It might also be a relative who you think might help, a friend’s parents, a coach, a member of your church or someone who you see as a mentor. I know that may not be easy but it is important that you reach out to someone. Don’t continue to hold in your feelings. Tell someone.

Attempting suicide is very serious. Call the suicide hotline at 800-273-8255 for free and confidential crisis counseling. Call 911 if you feel that might attempt suicide. Emergency personnel can protect you from harming yourself.

The ultimate goal for you is to receive the proper mental health help. It is important that you tell someone about how you are feeling and to do so immediately. There is help available but you have to actively reach out for it. I hope you are able to get the help that you desire. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Q: I do not . . . feel anymore. My lack of empathy has reached its highest peak. I do not feel the need to socialize with anyone at all. As self – destructive as it may seem a complete and constant escape from reality doesn’t look so bad after all. I just can’t help it. My heart is full of nothing but emptiness. How do I get my emotions back ?

A: The emptiness and numbness you’re describing sounds to me like it might be depression. I suggest that you get a mental health evaluation right away so you can get an accurate diagnosis and recommendations for treatment. Watch the video to hear the complete answer.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

I feel really depressed a lot of the time sometimes I feel completely numb and empty and my I get shooting pains in my heart, and other times I feel so panicked and frustrated and my heart beets out of my chest. the problem I face is that I don’t really want to let people know how I feel as I’m extremely worried it might worry or upset them. for instance I feel really suicidal and I really can’t face telling my parents for instance because I love them so much and it would really upset them and maybe even possibly drive them to there own serous problems (as they have problems with alcohol and depression themselves). I see a therapist and I don’t really think that is helping much, partly because I find it so difficult to talk to anyone about this stuff let alone people I don’t know very well and because I find it hard to expresses the such strong feelings of sadness, self hatred and guilt that I feel. I would also speak to friends but I find that they can’t really understand how terrible I feel and I actually completely broke down and couldn’t stop crying for a long time in front of a couple of them which caused them to feel very uneasy and unsure of what to do and what they did try wasn’t all that helpful (saying things like “you should try and have a more positive attitude” and “everyone feels down from time to time”. I really feel so isolated and guilty. I feel so guilty because I don’t want my friends and family to feel upset or burdened by my problems and I really don’t know what to do. Often I feel as if suicide is my last option, please, please help.

A. You seem to believe that you are a burden to others. You are not. You are in pain and you need and deserve help. You are withholding your feelings from others to protect them but you are only hurting yourself. That is not healthy.

Sometimes people feel that way when they lack the problem solving-skills to deal with life problems. Suicide should never be considered an option. Your friends and family can handle discussing your feelings far better they would be able to handle your suicide. Losing someone you love is very, very difficult.

Your friends and family may want to help but are not sure how to do so. That makes sense, since they don’t have the training to deal with emotional problems.

Therapists have that training. You are withholding very important information from your therapist. As long as you continue to withhold that information, he or she cannot fully help you. I would urge you to reveal these important details to your therapist as soon as possible. It is the correct way to handle the situation.

If you feel that your therapist is not helpful, then try another. Keep trying until you find someone you are comfortable with.

Millions of people have felt the way that you do. They sought help, received help and have now fully recovered. You can expect a similar outcome if you are willing to seek help. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I have a good life, job, home, family yet I think everyday about wishing i were dead. I have cut in the past which I know I am too old to do, I have the scars on my arms but still think about it constantly. Options seem to be drink, over eat, cut or die.

Logically I know I have a good life, I am so confused over my thoughts. I wish I could just understand why I can not be happy with all the good in my life. Do you have ideas why I can’t can’t get these ideas out of my mind? Days are only get to bed, to get though the day to get to bed. I hope this makes sense to you. Thank you.

A. You believe that you should be happy but you’re not. Sometimes the things that “should” make us happy don’t have that effect. Money is a great example. People often believe it is the key to happiness but many wealthy people are very unhappy.

Something is driving you to engage in self-destructive behavior. There are many reasons why people self-injure but some of the most common are: emotional release; lacking basic problem-solving skills needed to handle life problems; thinking that they deserve to suffer; punishment for a perceived wrongdoing; or to interrupt emotional numbness. Self-injurious behavior and suicidal thoughts signify that a person is suffering and that help is needed.

There is a reason for your feelings. I don’t have enough information to determine what that is. I would recommend counseling. What may not be evident to you may be evident to a therapist who is trained to deal with emotional problems. He or she can assist you in better understanding your behavior and can teach you the skills necessary to improve your life. Click the find help tab (see top of page) to locate a therapist in your community. Please write again if you have additional questions.

Dr. Kristina Randle

My husband was ill for 10 years before he died. He died 15 years ago when he was 47. I did not realize I was avoiding a lot of the pain. I had my own deals, i.e., brain surgery as a kid, legally blind from the brain surgery. I am not emotionally “normal”. I have some learning disabilities, perception problems, spatially challenged. I live alone, have only one real friend nearby, my son lives far away. I have a brother nearby, including his kids and their families. I am not part of that family, even though I moved here thinking I would be.

Some mornings I wake up and think I hear him in the kitchen leaving for work. I think of how great it would be if he were still with me. I feel like an extra person when I go out. Sometimes during the evenings, if I am concentrating on something, I will hear a car go by. I actually feel and think I am back where we used to live. I forget where I am until I look up and see where I am.

I see a psychiatrist now and have for a long time. I love her, but I need to talk to someone because there are times I feel so alone.

A. I think expanding your social networks is a very wise idea. Your psychiatrist is helpful but you need more than she can offer. The more that you can connect with others the less isolated and lonely you will feel. I would recommend a grief support group. Many communities offer these types of groups. Griefshare.org can assist you in finding one of these groups in your community.

You might also want to consider volunteer work. Is there a cause or a societal problem that you are passionate about? If so, then perhaps you can donate some of your time working for those causes. Examples include: working at a soup kitchen that feeds the homeless, tutoring someone or assisting the staff at the local pet shelter. Volunteering has many benefits. It provides the opportunity to connect with others, have new experiences and to discover new talents. Many people find volunteering to be quite rewarding.

Finally, I would also suggest adopting a pet. Pets can bring a great deal of happiness into our lives. Pets can’t replace our loved ones but they are great companions. Recent studies have shown that owning a pet can significantly improve psychological health and decrease loneliness and depression. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years and we have a 4 month old together and I also have a child by my high school sweetheart. My present boyfriend and whom I hope to marry has lied to me about talking to other women in the past and what they talked about. He said he has told the truth but I still don’t believe him fully. I also feel that there were a few instances when a female would offer herself to him and he should have stopped her right there and corrected her in my honor. For instance:
girl: come hang out when your girlfriend goes to sleep
boyfriend: I cant I have to get up for work in the morning

He says he doesn’t want to start any problems with anyone but he doesn’t realize how much this effects me considering he has already lied before. He also expects me to work full time and do all the housework and take care of the kids with minimal help. And the only way he will help me is if I pretty much beg. Then when he does “help” he does the job half way so I might as well have just done it right the first time. He was spoiled growing up and still is and I don’t know if that has anything to do with it but I don’t know what else to do!! I’ve gone from talking to him about it to screaming at him. Nothing helps and he won’t take any of the advice I give him to avoid these bad situations.
I find myself hating him at this point I think? I don’t know what else to do!

A: It sounds like a very difficult thing to cope with. At the root of the issue it seems like you are not feeling supported and honored. These are two important elements that you need to have in order to feel better. Both are likely to happen in therapy.

I would use the “Find Help” tab at the top of the page to look for people in your area that you can begin talking to. If money or insurance are a problem I recommend checking out your local women’s center or community hospital. They often have therapy services available for little or no cost.

When our primary people are not there for us it is very depleting. A therapist can offer support and help you sort through your options in dealing with your current boyfriend. Without this feeling of support confronting him, trying to manage change may be difficult. Our video series on relationships might be helpful. Check out this one.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I am a very blessed person with a great support group. I have depression and am on Celexa 20 mg 1 daily for it. I’ve been on it for probably 1 1/2 years. Lately I’ve been noticing more of my depression symptoms – lack of drive, crazy emotions, crying for no reason, illogical thoughts, fatigue and tiredness, lack of hunger, etc. I’m wondering if I should try to talk with my dr. to up my dosage or if I should try to work out a time to go see a counselor or what? I’m just very confused and distraught. Thank you in advance.

A. You should do both: talk to your doctor and see a counselor. It might be that you are on the wrong medication or the wrong dosage. Initial medicine dosages often need to be adjusted. Sometimes adding an additional medication is necessary. Those are all possibilities that should be discussed with your prescribing doctor.

To overcome depression it is often essential to participate in individual therapy. Group therapy can be effective but one-on-one treatment is often a necessary adjunct. Individual therapy will allow you to focus on your specific issues. The individualized attention also allows you to delve deeper into your issues, which may not be possible in a group setting.

Ideally, you should be participating in all three types of treatment: medication, group and individual therapy. It would be the most comprehensive and efficient approach to overcoming your depression. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Lately i have been feeling strange. Sometimes i can hear a bunch of voices screaming at me, but i can never make out what they’re saying it just feels really loud and angry. When this happens i usually feel like i’m moving really fast, like every movement i make is done at warp speed and i don’t know how to stop it. I also rehearse conversations for hours before i go to sleep and even when i try and stop i can’t. I talk to myself frequently and get very animated when i do this.

On top of this i have been sleeping more than usual. skipping class, spending less time with friends, wanting to be alone more often and smoking a lot of marijuana. I also think about suicide on almost a daily basis.

I’m aware that i probably have depression but i’m more worried that i might have something more serious. Two of my uncles have schizophrenia and i’m worried i have it to.

A. Hearing voices is a sign of psychosis but not always. Many people describe having an “inner voice” which is quite normal. Individuals with schizophrenia and those with other psychotic disorders hear voices that are not their own. They sound like the voices of others. These external voices also tend to be derogatory and violent in nature, similar to what you are experiencing.

You also described an increased desire for isolation, changes in your sleeping patterns and having suicidal thoughts. Those may be symptoms of depression but they could also be symptoms of schizophrenia. You also stated that you are using a large amount of marijuana. Your drug use may be exacerbating your symptoms.

It is not possible to provide a psychiatric diagnosis over the Internet but your symptoms are concerning. I would strongly recommend being evaluated by a mental health professional. I would also suggest having a medical exam. There are some medical conditions that can cause psychosis-like symptoms.

It is important that you seek treatment immediately. Medications and other treatments can significantly reduce the intensity of your symptoms. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

hi. im 14. and to be honest, im really depressed. im suicidal almost every night, and sometimes in the daytime. im really mature for my age. i self harm a lot. i suffered for 2 years, stopped, then picked it up again. i have severe depression, bpd, and anxiety. i think im bipolar and ive talked to my mom about it but she doesnt believe me. my parents are extremely harsh on me and i feel i have no reason to live. i just wish somebody out there would listen to me and take me seriously. i think i have some anger issues too, and ive punched walls and taken out my anger on people and my pet cat, which i feel guilty about immediatly afterwards. i dont abuse my friends or pet but i yell and say mean things. i just hate myself and im too scared and depressed and too much of a failure to complete life. i have a therapist but shes stupid and doesnt even listen to me. whatever. i guess this is goodbye to the world sine i want to commit suicide within the next 3 mmonths. i have many plans, i just need some anthehistamines to make sure i dont puke up the pills if i choose that way. i hope someone here listens and doesnt take me for granted and think im kidding. i mean it.

A. I am sorry for what you’re experiencing. It is difficult to feel that you have no options and no one to talk to but realize that suicide is never the answer. It is always the wrong choice. The problems you are facing can be resolved. Your life can get better. It has for many people and it can for you too.

People may contemplate suicide for many reasons but fundamentally it’s due to the pain that they feel and because they have not yet developed the appropriate coping skills. There are many good ways to deal with the issues that are causing you distress.

You have a therapist but you don’t feel that she’s helpful. Have you told her about your suicidal feelings? If not, you should do so immediately. It is possible that she isn’t helping because you are concealing important personal information from her. It is also possible that she’s providing ineffective therapy. Without more details about your situation, I can’t say with certainty what the problems are.

The fact that you have a therapist shows that your parents understand that you need help. It shows that they care. I would encourage you to tell your parents about your ineffective therapy sessions and your suicidal thoughts. They may be able to assist you in receiving more effective treatment.

You are clearly suffering and you need to make that known to those around you. It also important to realize that at this point in time you are not thinking clearly. The proof is demonstrated by your belief that your situation cannot improve. It can and it has for millions of people before you.

I don’t underestimate your pain. It can feel overwhelming but the truth is, it just feels that way. In reality it is not overwhelming. It hurts but that pain will end and much more quickly with the help of a good therapist. Do not mistakenly believe that the only way to help yourself is to end your life. There are good ways to deal with life problems and those skills can be learned. Please get help now.

If you feel that you cannot protect yourself, go to the hospital or call 911. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I just realized today I have a serious fear of men. Any man whom I could potentially be involved with. I am 21 years old. Ever since I was small, I was told not to talk to them. My family was strict about this. Even now, I don’t tell my father if there are going to boys at a school event like a friend’s or club dinners (I have never went to a party so that’s not an issue). My younger sister has no problem talking to boys (she’s pretty…that might be a factor). I can talk to guys in a professional setting but I have never had a casual conversation related to anything outside of school work. I can’t even make eye contact…its really bad. People will say, they’re just humans…but I can’t act normal around them.

In kindergarten, there was a boy. We used to tease each other a lot (I remember it was actually fun). Once he was teasing me so I complained to my parents. I don’t remember exactly what happened but they told the teacher. In class, when he was coming to play in the same area I was in and I got really scared. The teacher told me to “grow up”.

In grade 8, a boy told me I was sexist. I didn’t think I was at the time, but looking back, I realized I was. I was never friends with the boys in middle school…we just talked and they mostly teased me.

In high school and university, I was (and am) completely segregated from boys. I neither talked to them unless I had to, never mind being friends. At least in middle school I talked to them and had fun conversations…I miss the company of guys. Don’t get me wrong. When it comes to work, I can talk no problem. But social situations are a whole different ball game.

I’m so afraid I’ll never get over this fear. My parents will probably want me to graduate and then get married. I’m 99% sure my dad would still get mad if I had any guy friends. My mom tells me: their okay to have guy friends you know…when I’m now 21. Thanks. I could have used that years ago. They just expect me to get married to a guy after 20 something years of not being comfortable with them?

Background: I am very shy (even with girls but at least I can have casual conversations with them. I am not pretty (maybe this affects my self-esteem? I am objectively NOT attractive…boys, my brother, my old friends, even my family, says it, some being mean, others not realizing it). I am Indian and I think my parents expect me to get an arranged marriage (this won’t happen to my sister and brother as they are perfectly functional and can find their own partner). I just want to be able to talk to the other 50% of the population.

A: Since you are still in school I would encourage you to join a therapy group at the university. Group therapy is an excellent way to confront these fears in a supportive environment. The best way to cope with this is to expose yourself to a group with men in it. This will allow you to voice your concerns in the presence of a trained facilitator. I would encourage you to check this option out sooner rather than later.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Me and my now husband started our relationship at the end of February 2010, and got married mid-april 2011.. Its a different marriage as he lives in Portsmouth due to work commitments and I am moving down to Portsmouth to be with him in September when I turn 18 (he is 19)
In January he stopped calling and texting me, I didn’t hear from him for three/four days until he called and even then he didn’t tell me what was wrong.

I later learned that a girl he worked with had kissed him and he wasn’t sure whether he liked her or not. He was unsure whether to finish our relationship as she lives in Portsmouth but he has told me that he sees her as more of a sister, even though she likes him he won’t continue a relationship with her.

He still isn’t treating me like he used to, he hardly texts me – I’m lucky if I get a text a day from him. He hasn’t called me for nearly a week and I’m getting desperate to talk to him.

I am going to Portsmouth soon to see him and sort everything out, but I’m worried that he won’t even meet up with him, I text him telling him all of these thoughts but he ignores them.

I’ve been so suicidal since all of this started and I haven’t told anyone, I have told my husband I’ve taken overdoses but he doesn’t react. I’m still suicidal and I’m scared that we’re never going to get back to how we used to be, because he was my best friend too.

I don’t know how to get him to think about me moving in September or how to tell him to meet up with me soon.. I’m scared he won’t listen to me..

Help?

A: I am very glad you are writing us here about your situation. I appreciate what a difficult time this is, and yet the part of you that has reached out must believe there is a way through this. Let’s see if we can sort it through.

The first thing is to find someone to talk to right away about all of this. You can talk to your physician about the fact that you are having suicidal thoughts. In fact, if the thoughts seem persistent I would simply go to your local hospital and tell them. They are able to help you find someone to talk to who is qualified. But the most important thing here is to not keep these feelings to yourself. Find someone to talk to as quickly as you can. Preferably a therapist, but a good friend, someone from the church, or a former teacher, or the women’s center in your area would all be good choices. This is important because talking about these things with people who know how to hear you can really help.

Second, once you have found someone to talk to enlist their help in deciding what to do about dealing with your husband. The important thing is not to act without support. It is the feelings of isolation that eclipse our well-being. Be sure to talk to someone sooner rather than later.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral