Accepting Death

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I fell asleep next to my little brother and then as I closed my eyes I started to cry because I realized that one day he’s gonna die and it’s inevitable and I cant stop it and I couldn’t stop crying for at least an hour and it was really hard to breathe and I just couldn’t get myself to accept it and I still can’t. I don’t give my whole heart and soul to a lot of things but he’s one of them. And I just cant see myself being able to bear that pain. I’ve battled depression for about 3 years and I’m just focusing on being happy but I just can’t see how I can do that with this in the back of my mind 24/7.

A. If your brother has a long, good life can you ask for any more than that? The fact that life ends with death, cannot be argued. Can you ask more for him than for any person who has ever lived? Every person who walks this earth will eventually die. Death is a part of life, but it does not have to mean the end. Many people, millions of people believe that death is just a transition. Many very intelligent people believe that, including doctors and scientists.

Your love for your brother is a blessing. Enjoy every second of that in this world and perhaps in the next.

It is not easy to accept the idea of losing a loved one. Focusing on the death of a loved one would understandably cause you considerable distress. It’s difficult to bear the thought of losing someone you love.

You are attempting to focus on being happy but it doesn’t seem to be working. Your focus on the eventual death of your brother and your strong emotional reaction may be associated with your long-standing depression. Depression makes it difficult to focus on the positive aspects of life.

It would be greatly beneficial to discuss these issues with a therapist. Ask your parents to assist you in consulting a mental health professional. Just like a medical problem requires medical treatment, so too does a mental health problem require mental health treatment. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 3 Sep 2014

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2014). Accepting Death. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/09/03/accepting-death/