Oversensitive and Begging for Love

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I have been told by my husband that I am over sensitive. I cry a lot, a lot of his “jokes” make me feel bad about myself. When he is mad, he treats me in a nasty, rude way. Most of the times it is because something is not the way he likes it (maybe 2 out of 5 times that he finds something the way he does not like it). When we fight, he wants to be left alone and I need him with me so I beg him for a reconciliation, a hug… Most of the times I end up apologizing even when I know it is not my fault only to be fine with him again. He says things like: you look like a fool begging, go away I don’t want to see you or listen to you, I am tired of you being so sensitive, If I hug you, will you stop being so annoying (because I am crying or begging)… I cry a lot and feel that nothing is worth it if we are apart… I hate feeling that I would love to learn how to let go and just not care about his moods or his rude, nasty way of treating me when he is mad… Also, I cannot talk to him whenever I want or tell him (even in a good way) what is bothering me because he gets annoyed… What do I do?… please help me! I need to stop feeling so bad when he is being mean to me… I need to just not care and learn how to wait until he approaches me… Thank you for your help. I am miserable right now and don’t want to live like this any more.

A: I think there are several ways to respond. The first would be to begin individual therapy, and find out the history of this reaction of yours. Second, and probably more direct, would be going into couples therapy where your husband could learn more adaptive reactions as well. The find help tab at the top of the page will help you locate someone in your country.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 7 Aug 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Oversensitive and Begging for Love. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 27, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/08/07/oversensitive-and-begging-for-love/