My fiancé and I have been in love for the past 5 years and we have had a very close and trusting relationship. He developed depression 4 months ago. He is taking medication and I’m doing all I can to help him. I know the reason why he became depressed and I’m supporting him in every way I can.
However sometimes he gets very moody and he gets angry at me for no reason. Whatever I say or do he finds fault with it. He will insult me and shout. Then after a couple of days he feels really bad and apologizes. Sometimes I get really hurt by what he says.
I never shout back or argue with him because I feel it will worsen his condition. And I know he doesn’t mean it and he loves me.
Please advice me on how I can deal with this situation. Is there anything I can say or do that will calm him? He needs me for support when he feels low, and I want to do all I can for him. Thank you.
A: It is difficult when the person you love the most has a major change and we still love and relate to them. I admire your capacity for resilience and standing by him with your support during this time. What may be worthwhile is for both of you to see a couples therapist who will help you set boundaries and provide guidance for how best to think about each other during this time. What’s important is that you don’t lose yourself as you support fiancé through his depression.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 6 Aug 2014
Tomasulo, D. (2014). My Fiancé Is Depressed. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 2, 2015, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/08/06/my-fiance-is-depressed/