Can’t Stop Thinking about Men Hurting Me

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I constantly make up scenarios in my head about a school teacher I had 8 years ago, each one contains an accident where he hits me or a misunderstanding whereby I think he’s going to hurt me. In these scenarios the school teacher has to then convince me that he is a good person and will look after me and not hurt me. In these scenarios, I’m normally a child and I always forgive him/believe him.

In the past when I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve substituted this teacher for the man I’ve been with and when I do that I imagine myself to be my current age but again I always forgive/believe them.

I do this daily, sometimes more than once a day and I feel like it’s weird and I want to stop doing it but I don’t know how.

A: Thank you for you detailed email. I think there may be a variety of reason for this, but because there is a fusion of actual events, corrective imagery, and replacement fantasies I think an experiential therapy would have promise for being effective. Specifically I would encourage you to find an experienced psychodramatist in your area. Psychodrama is an action oriented form of therapy that uses a variety of techniques combined with theory. The British Psychodrama Association is a highly professional group that can help you find someone qualified in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Jul 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Can’t Stop Thinking about Men Hurting Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 25, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/07/26/cant-stop-thinking-about-men-hurting-me/