Marital Issue

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My husband owns a business and as a result his work is out of balance. He is not meeting my emotional, relational and spiritual needs. He comes home so exhausted that he has nothing left for me. I cooked him a gourmet meal last night and he worked on his computer while he ate. He did not talk to me. It made me feel sad. He also has been entertaining female clients. He took a group of ladies out to a bar after a golf outing. When I told him that I thought it was inappropriate he got angry at me and said that he was going to sleep in the other bedroom. He didn’t sleep in the other bedroom. I think it is inappropriate to drink with women. One of the women has been flirting with him via email and he flirted back. I confronted him on it and he got angry but then told me he would stop emailing with her. My gut doesn’t believe him. He is very short with me one minute and the next minute he will tell me he loves me very much. He also lied to the woman in the email about driving our friends super expensive car. He was trying to look cool to her. I am hurt. I feel like I am with someone who doesn’t love and appreciate me. I am a VP in a very large company. Please help. Am I wrong for having him go drinking and not tell me with a bunch of ladies that I have never met?

A: Thank you for sending us your email. These sound like genuine concerns and I wouldn’t put off dealing with them any longer. The fact that your husband get mad when you told him the obvious is a clue that something is wrong. You welcome him with a gourmet meal and him ignoring you isn’t good. I would try to make an appointment with a couple counselor ASAP. If he refuses to go with you I would get some individual therapy to develop your coping skills and review what your options are.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Jul 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Marital Issue. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 23, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/07/24/marital-issue/