Wife Thinks I Am Cheating on Her

By Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I met my wife in the Middle East and we come to the US in 2013. My wife thinks I am cheating on her constantly because someone came into our room while we were at work and was having sex 2 weeks before we come to the US from the Middle East.

Since we come into the US, we have lived in 4 different states. She says that there is another woman following us and that I brought her to the US with us. This is has been going on for 1 yr now. She accuses me every day that I am sleeping with another woman. I constantly tell her I am not and never have. It has started to ruin our marriage. I go to work and I come home. I don’t even look at another woman. I get sometimes scratches at work because I am a mechanic and she constantly say its scratches from another woman. I need help really bad. its almost like she is possessed by a demon. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have lost jobs because of this and now we are going to move for the 4th time to a great job and I just cannot handle it anymore. the trust is not there from her side. I love my wife very, very much and the love of my life and do not want to lose her over nothing. We had a child that passed in Jan and I thought she is still grieving and I let her take her time with that. I just don’t know what to do. its just hurting me and her and killing our marriage.

A. Two possibilities exist: you are cheating on your wife or you are not. The truth is something that your wife must accept. When someone denies reality and believes in something, when objective evidence proves it not to be true, then this is very close to the definition of a delusion. Your wife may be delusional.

If considering that possibility, her delusions might have been exacerbated by her giving birth. Postpartum psychosis is a rare condition in which a woman develops psychotic symptoms following childbirth. Some of the symptoms can include: delusions and unusual beliefs, suspiciousness and paranoia, hallucinations, mood swings, irritability, and the decreased need for sleep. Based upon your letter, your wife has several of those symptoms.

Given that her fears are unrelenting, professional intervention is needed. A mental health professional can evaluate her symptoms and determine what might be wrong. Once a diagnosis is made, her symptoms can be treated with professional help. Medication might help to decrease or eliminate her symptoms.

If your wife is unwilling to seek treatment , then you should consult a mental health professional or attempt marriage counseling with her in attendance. A therapist can assist you in determining how to properly handle this situation. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 17 Jul 2014

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2014). Wife Thinks I Am Cheating on Her. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 18, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/07/17/wife-thinks-i-am-cheating-on-her/