From the U.S.: I have been in my teachers class for about a year now. Just three days ago, he gave me his number in case I was having any problems and needed to talk. I texted him two days ago and asked him for advice. It was fine in the beginning but then he started telling me he cared about me and he asking if my body was all natural. I flipped out and deleted the messages. Then I sent him a text back telling him he shouldn’t be doing stuff like this. He started saying how he needed help and that he wasn’t a role model. I told my mom ad she called the police. The police couldn’t do anything because I deleted the initial texts. The school could so though. The worse thing that could happen to him is him lose his job. I haven’t been able to feel like me since then. I’ve been crying all the time. He was a very loved teacher at my school. I just want to be happy and feel like myself again help?
A: You did exactly the right thing. You refused to be victimized! That says to me that you are stronger than you think you are. It is absolutely not your fault that this guy was inappropriate with you. His job is not your responsibility. You didn’t put his job in jeopardy. He did.
It doesn’t surprise me a bit that he is “much loved.” If he is an offender, he works at bringing kids into his orbit by being extra kind and offering help. Lots of teens go through difficult times and are therefore emotionally vulnerable to someone who seems sympathetic. Sadly, not all helpful adults have pure motives. My guess is there are other kids who have also been approached, but who didn’t speak up. I certainly hope the school is going to investigate further.
Please hold your head up high. You have every reason to be proud of yourself. Not only did you resist this guy’s attempts to get inappropriately involved with you, but you may well have prevented him from victimizing someone else. If you are still upset when you get this reply, please ask your mother to make an appointment for you to see a therapist. You may need a little more support for awhile.
I wish you well.
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 23 Jun 2014
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). My Teacher Started Asking Me About My Body. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/06/23/my-teacher-started-asking-me-about-my-body/