Why Won’t My Friend Talk to Me?

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From the Phillippines: I have a friend who just begun not talking with me for no reason. We been through a lot but after her problems were solved she just left me. We were so connected before. Talking everyday and sharing all stories but no we don’t talk. She also claimed that she is no longer comfortable with me. I just don’t understand

A: Sometimes people regret it when they have shared maybe a little too much. It sounds to me like your relationship was based on problems and negativity. Now that the problems have been solved, she may be embarrassed that you know so much about a bad time in her life. She may want to leave that time behind. Being around you reminds her too much of all she has been through. On top of that, from her point of view it may be that you two don’t have enough positive and fun things in common to sustain the relationship. That can happen when people only focus on hard times and don’t build in positive experiences.

I’m sorry you lost a friend. Perhaps she’ll come back if you can reassure her that you will keep her secrets and that you can turn your attention to doing things that are happier. If not, it’s a hard lesson in how important it is to balance the bad with lots of good.

I wish you well
Dr. Marie

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 Jun 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). Why Won’t My Friend Talk to Me?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/06/18/why-wont-my-friend-talk-to-me/

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