Too Young for Divorce?

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I think I was too young to get married. I met my husband when I was 19, we broke up when I was 21 due to lack of communication and lack of affection. We got back together after he told me things would change. They didn’t, but I decided to accept that since he was a “good guy” and we get along well. We moved in together at 22, engaged at 23, and married at 24. Now I realize that while he tries hard and he is good to me, I still feel unloved. He doesn’t touch me, kiss me, tell me he loves me, or tell me I’m beautiful. We are basically roommates living in one house, sharing chores, never fighting, just co-existing. I have lost most of the physical attraction I had to him, and I no longer enjoy being around him. Is this just a phase I’m going through since I am still young? Is this what marriage is supposed to be like? Or did I make a mistake?

A: It is not a phase, and it is not what marriage is supposed feel like. The fact is that you’ve had these feelings for a very long time, and they haven’t changed in spite of everyone’s best efforts. I would not prolong this. You may want to talk to a couple’s counselor together first so that the issues can be heard by a third-party, but your age, length of relationship, and the lack of physical attraction and connection can’t be ignored. I would make an appointment soon to talk about this. The “find help” tab at the top of the page will help you locate someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 18 Jun 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Too Young for Divorce?. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 28, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/06/18/too-young-for-divorce/

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