I Feel Insecure About My Boyfriend

By Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

From Turkey: My boyfriend has problems about anger management. Last time he had anger, he haled at his family and wrote me “i don’t want to talk with anybody, i am leaving you.” This was not first time he did it. I feel insecure. When i ask him this, he is saying i had anger, i just said it, never mind. He is also too jealous. i can’t make him happy. I am spending all the things i have. But now, i don’t know what to do.

A: What you do is get out of this relationship. People don’t just “have” anger and use it as an excuse to say harsh things. Adults recognize angry feelings but then make choices about how to express it in a way that doesn’t damage their relationships with the people they love. Real men don’t threaten to leave whenever they don’t like something. A secure man isn’t jealous. You’re right. You can’t make him be happy — no matter what you do. He’s the one who has the problem, not you. Please don’t waste another minute on this guy. You are only 19. You have lots of time to find a man who knows how to be an adult.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Photo

 

 

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 Jun 2014

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2014). I Feel Insecure About My Boyfriend. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/06/16/i-feel-insecure-about-my-boyfriend/