Husband’s Behavior

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My husband and I are of the same culture and same religion and we have known each other for a very long time but everything changed when we got married. I feel like his personality, his attitude and the way he treats me has completely changed. Recently, I posted a fireworks picture on my FB saying “firework make me happy” and he comments saying “which ones”!? Thn he posted this technical information about fireworks and their classifications so I replied “Ok smartie pants haha you actually googled that!? I see that I inspired you to increase your knowledge, that’s what I do I inspire people ;) :-p lol haha” I mean what is wrong with that!? He started dissing me publically and got mad saying I am a manly women and brought up with no manners. He does this almost everyday about something, he jokes at me all day but the moment I do he says it’s not funny n starts cursing n says I am manly. He says I am manly anytime I speak up for myself and defend myself or say something funny, sarcastic or whatever. I do not understand. He has become a total control freak and keeps saying I try to compete with a man blah blah like who does that!? Please help me.

A: I don’t know why your husband is feeling so insecure and needing to speak down to you to try and control you, but I wouldn’t wait any longer to get into couple’s therapy. I would try to nip this behavior in the bud. This shift, for whatever reason, tends not to set a good trend in a relationship. Now is the time find out why this is happening.

If he refuses to go, take the time to begin counseling on your own. You will need outside support to cope with your husband’s behavior and individual therapy can help The find help tab at the top of the page can help you find someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 Jun 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Husband’s Behavior. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/06/16/husbands-behavior/