Partner’s History Problems

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My boyfriend is ex-army and talks about when he was in training someone died due to a mistake he made. he constantly thinks about it and makes are relationship very difficult. it seems to bring him alot of anger issues, i know he loves me but he puts me down and constantly picks faults with me. im 5 month pregnant and don’t know where to go and get help for him. he is constantly angry and frustrated. he also feels that his family push him out and because they push him out he constantly feels like im going to push him out, i love him but it is all becoming a little too much for me now im pregnant.

A: The trauma he experienced during his time in the military sounds as if it’s at the core of these reactions. He may be alienating you because he feels alienated himself. I would highly recommend he talk to the people at the Ministry of Defence in your country about getting some counseling. Believe it or not this reaction is very understandable as is the reason for his feelings. He is not the first person to feel this after being in the military and there are many there for him.

http://www.veterans-uk.info/

Offer to go with him, and / or get the information, and be as supportive as you can. But do not let this go unattended. This is not something that tends to go away on its own.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 31 May 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Partner’s History Problems. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 2, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/05/31/partners-history-problems/