Jealousy in My Long Distance Relationship

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

I’ve been with my partner for 3 years now! She’s the first person I’ve ever been in love with. I’ve never been the jealous type, until now. The first 2 years together have been perfect, but in out 3rd year, things have been rough. She recently joined a sorority and its made me feel left out. It’s bad enough that we’re long distance, and adding the jealousy just makes everything worse. I feel like she’ll never love/like me as much as she does her sorority sisters. We don’t do some of the stuff we used to do anymore because she’s always busy. How can I stop being jealous before I ruin the best thing thats ever happened to me?

A: The work here is to find a way to celebrate her relationships with her girlfriends. You cannot be the sole connection. Everything we know about health and well-being suggests that the volume of good relationships we have is important. You don’t want her to be dependent on your for all her emotional needs.

I would encourage you to develop some of your own guy friendships. Your emotional needs shouldn’t only be in orbit around her. Both of you may be primary in each other’s lives, but not to the degree that it limits connection to others.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 May 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Jealousy in My Long Distance Relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/05/25/jealousy-in-my-long-distance-relationship/

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