Boyfriend Wont Stop Lying

By Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

So there are these 2 girls who my boyfriend always talks to and they have always cause troubles in our relationship. I’ve always approached him and asked him why he’s lied to me about not talking to them anymore when it’s right there on his phone. He doesn’t say anything apart from ‘sorry’ and that he’s not going to bother about talking to them again. To which I reply ‘thank you, you know what they’ve done to us before.’ Then a day later he’s talking to them again. I’m not quite sure what to do about it because it has happened more times that I care to say. It’s very upsetting. What should I do?

A: Thank you for sending us you’re letter. Let me offer my perspective on what I am hearing you say: You have a boyfriend that you’ve explained your needs to — and he agrees to stop because it is hurtful to you. Then lies to you and does it again. If he can’t be sensitive to you with this relatively small request, how can you trust him with the more important things that are in a relationship? How can you build a bond that’s based on your partner not honoring you?

I think I would try once more to explain that this is a deal-breaker. Let him know this is important, serious and this is his last opportunity. If he understands this — great. If not, don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t care enough about how you feel.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

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Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 May 2014

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2014). Boyfriend Wont Stop Lying. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 27, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/05/16/boyfriend-wont-stop-lying/